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>Bulldogs Through the Looking Glass

4 March 2006

>The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:

And all the little Bulldogs stood
And waited in a row.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:

Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —

And why the sea is boiling hot —
And whether pigs have wings.”…

“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,
“To play them such a trick,

After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!”

The Carpenter said nothing but
“The butter’s spread too thick!”

“I weep for you,” the Walrus said.
“I deeply sympathize.”

With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.

Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

“O Bulldogs,” said the Carpenter.
“You’ve had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?”
But answer came there none —

And that was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.’

Lewis Carroll, from Alice Through The Looking Glass

As I was leaving work today, I got a message from my dad, asking me if I wanted to go to the game. OF COURSE I wanted to go to the game. Anytime I get to see my ‘Dogs, I’m there, especially FOR FREE (thanks to Scotty, “The Man in the Box”). Lucky for me, I had a jersey in my trunk. For emergencies, you know.

Getting there was interesting, as I had only a vague idea of only route I know to the John, and the only thing I knew for certain was, I was not going that way. Once I was in Dinkytown, I drove around like a moron until I found a parking garage near the building where my stepbrother is an RA, which was nowhere near Sally’s. Silly me, I thought the weather was not too bad, and left my coat in the car. I had no idea how to get to where I was supposed to be, so I called my dad. I looked like a total goon, talking loudly on my cell phone (because there is no other way to talk on a cell phone), wandering around aimlessly, wearing a UMD jersey. By the time I arrived at the bar, I was nearly frozen solid.

It’s the journey that’s important, people.

And then there was the game. I couldn’t see for most of it, but I didn’t want to see it, anyway. I thought this would be a better game than it was. It makes me sad to think our season is going to end after next weekend. (Okay, we are not mathematically eliminated, we still have an auto-bid, but let’s get real, people. We are not the damn Miracle On Ice.) However, it also comes as a relief. Why are we playing the penultimate game of the regular season as tentatively as the first? Why can’t we make passes? Why haven’t we gotten quicker? Why is the puck in your skates, Matt Greer, while you are looking around for it? Why are we tripping over our teammates? Why can’t we score on that sieve, Briggs? WHY? WHY? WHY?

We left the game before the presentation of the McNaughton Cup. I remarked to my father, “I don’t want to see a former Bulldog hand a trophy to the Gophers.” He agreed. He showed me a place to park for free that isn’t too far away (not that I’ll tell YOU), and then I spent 45 minutes in the parking garage trying to find my car. (It turned out there is more than one spot that is marked Level D Spot B8.)

Bottom Line: We were shut out 7-0, and I STILL DIDN’T LEAVE EARLY. Stupid corporate non-fans. I could have sat in your seats instead of trying to peek through the gaps between people for half the game and trying to see over the bar in the Gold Club for the other half.

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