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>10 Things To Hate About Us

15 July 2009

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You know, I used to really think Heath Ledger was a major hottie when he was in movies like The Patriot and he was just another pretty face. Then he goes and kisses a dude and suddenly he’s a serious actor. If all I had to do to get some respect around here was make out with a few chicks, I’d be accepting the Nobel Prize in literature.

Ahem. That is neither here nor there. Anyway, back when he was alive and relatively unknown, he was in a movie called 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s kind of a very stupid movie, but it did somehow pop into my head and provide the inspiration for this post.

Just a few things to remind fans of the other teams in the league why tUMD is better than they are.

1. UMTC
The Bulldogs bounced you from your own “invitational,” then won one of the most dramatic games ever played in your own barn. And you didn’t even get to have the best road trip in the WCHA… although FHG and Cardinal did it twice anyway.

2. DU
You suffered your first loss in the Final Five, and we made it look easy. Then the next weekend you looked even worse. We also prevented you from sharing in the league title with our lone win over you. On the plus side, Mullet did have a nice sign showing Gwoz where the locker rooms were.

3. CC
We started your golfing season early with our kickoff to our improbable playoff run, and we put up a touchdown on you when we faced you in December. Don’t you guys like playing hockey?

4. UND
Oh man, where to start? We’re the only team you didn’t beat, we beat you in the Final Five, and we flipped you in the PWR, so you got to draw New Hampshire and get scored on with .1 seconds left! Our mascot is also not racist.

5. UW
Possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of the season came when Stalock was being Stalock and Tom Gorowsky shot the puck over the net.

6. SCSU
Like they need to be reminded… Mitch Ryan didn’t pan out as well as Dan Kronick, did he? We have a better arena coming. And our hockey parents aren’t embarrassments to our team.

7. MSUM
We pretty much killed Pretty Boy Dan Tormey’s hopes of playing in any more games after we put up another touchdown (gee, the Bulldogs sure like scoring 7 goals!), and our end-of-season meltdown was still not enough to get you out of 8th place.

8. MTU
Geoff Kinrade was exposed as a flopper when we visited the UP and MSJ took him out and got an undeserved (naturally) penalty. And “The Man” tried to silence your cowbells.

9. UAA
As Donald points out to me often, UAA took 7 of 8 points from UMD, so they don’t have much to be mad about… except they whooped us and we went on to the NCAA regional finals, and they were swept out of Denver.

10. The whole league
We were the “last man standing” while finishing 7th in the league. So if you finished above us, you can’t believe it wasn’t you, and if you finished below us, you’re jealous it wasn’t you. We also accomplished what many, many teams have failed to do: won the Final Five in three games.

So, I hope this fans the flames of rivalry. As if we need to get any warmer… ugh.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. 15 July 2009 7:51 am

    >Heath Ledger is dead? I didn't even know he wasn't felling well.

  2. 15 July 2009 9:12 pm

    >I feel honored that DU is only behind the Gophs on the hate list. And ahead of NoDak which deservedly finishes in the top 2 of any list of this sort.It is also nice to know "tDonald" follows Runnin'With The Dogs far closer than E Online.:-}

  3. 15 July 2009 9:46 pm

    >Donna, If summer doesn't get any warmer we might need to fan some more flames. 🙂 Damn global warming.

  4. 15 July 2009 10:02 pm

    >These are in no particular order, Viz. SCSU would be #1, otherwise.

  5. 16 July 2009 12:43 am

    >Nothing good ever comes from 2 guys kissing.

  6. 21 July 2009 8:47 pm

    >Sweet. A mullet reference.

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