>Justin Fontaine To Change Last Name

In a move that surprised some and others felt was overdue, Minnesota-Duluth winger Justin Fontaine has decided to change his name to Justin Connolly. Coach Scott Sandelin recently chose to add Mike Connolly to the productive tandem of Fontaine and Jack Connolly, in order to maximize UMD’s offensive firepower. Fontaine’s name change will be the final piece in creating the most dominant line in all of college hockey: the Connolly line.

Fontaine, 21, of Bonnyville, AB, felt in order to gel completely with his linemates, he needed to annex the last name. “I want to do whatever I can to improve my game and help my team. I can’t shrink myself 3 inches or grow a curly fro, but I’m willing to make the change if it means more wins. It’s the least I can do,” Fontaine said in an interview Wednesday.

Fontaine will be adopted by Mark and Judy Connolly of Duluth, parents of Jack Connolly, as well as Boston University forward Chris Connolly. “We are so excited to have Justin as part of our family,” Mrs. Connolly told reporters. “We’ve been looking to add a right wing to our family for some time now, and Justin is the perfect fit.” Mr. Connolly was not reachable for comment, as he was busy rocking out with his band.

When asked if they minded giving their son up for adoption, current parents Denis Fontaine and Donna Dale, reached by phone, seemed to take it as “business as usual.” “It’s just another part of the game, part of being a hockey parent,” Mr. Fontaine stated. “Anything to make his game better,” added Ms. Dale, “but I hope they remember he likes the crusts cut off his sandwiches.”

UMD fans hope to hear beloved public address announcers Howie Leathers proclaiming “Connolly from Connolly and Connolly,” a lot this season. Radio play-by-play man Bruce Ciskie didn’t seem too happy about the change. “It’s confusing enough as it is,” he said via phone. When informed the line would be backed up by defensive tandem Dylan Olsen and Drew Olson, Mr. Ciskie screamed and a series of dull thuds could be heard, ostensibly Mr. Ciskie beating himself with the telephone.

No word on when the adoption process would be finalized, or whether Fontaine would also adopt #32 to match with Jack Connolly’s #12 and Mike Connolly’s #22.