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>The Gauntlet: Abbreviated Edition

25 February 2010

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Oh yes, people, it’s back. The Gauntlet. It’s not in its traditional style, but I am nothing if not accommodating of my victims. It’s short, kind of a mini-Gauntlet. A Gauntlette.

Glove-slapped this week is Jupiter, the benevolent dictator at Gopher Puck Live, the premier source of arrogance on the Interwebs!

RWD: Why did you start Gopher Puck Live?

JUP: During the 2003 Frozen Four, both Matt & Kyle Baron [whoever they are] were in Buffalo and the PrideonIce website [GPL’s precursor] went down. There was nothing they could do while on the road, so I used my family website to create a temporary message board for people to use until they got POI back online. But I just decided to keep the site up and running. [Way to use their misfortune to your advantage!]

RWD: Describe GPL for the casual internet surfer.

JUP: It’s place to stay updated on Gopher Hockey and a gathering place for Gopher and college hockey fans. [GPL has a message board, blogs, news stories, and Doug Woogisms, among other things.]

RWD: What do you like the most about running the board?

JUP: The interaction with fellow fans. [How heartwarming! *gag*]

RWD: What is the worst part about running the board?

JUP: The constant monitoring of the site to make sure everything is up and running.

RWD: How did it feel to have rumors on GPL spark a statement from the University and Jordan Schroeder? [Fans may remember that after Sam Lofquist left, a power-hungry recluse who shall remain nameless hinted that another player was leaving, and mass hysteria led to the conclusion that Jordan Schroeder was the player leaving.]

JUP: It was embarrassing. But GPL is an open site, so it was only a matter of time until something like that happened.

RWD: Why do you allow shady characters with questionable journalism tactics such as Cardinal write on the site?

JUP: Well…. I have ZERO writing skills [on display right now!], so someone had to do it.

RWD: Is it true that Cardinal et al. slave away for free? Is that even legal?

JUP: Yep… but I will have to refer you to my lawyer on the legality of it. But since he gets in to the games for free, I really don’t think he minds all that much. [Jeez, big shots.]

RWD: Do you pay the moderators for their iron-fisted approach toward innocent tUMD fans? [RWD, DHG, and Beersong were recently suspended by GPL Moderator Greyeagle for our attempts to add some fun to the forum.]

JUP: There is no need to pay them. The satisfaction they get from beating on your guys [I don’t believe it ever came to physical violence, at least not in my case. But if it did, we all know that Gophers just turtle and as I’m an honorable lady, I’d have to walk away] is more than enough reward for them. The best part is the main GPL moderator, Greyeagle, went to college at UMD. [And failed out, most likely.]

RWD: You’ve played a lot of jokes with tUMD fans as you helped DHG with tPB. What are some of the pranks you’ve pulled, and which one is your favorite?

JUP: Well… we first had the sabotaged tUMD logo with Goldy Gopher making frequent appearances. I’ve done that one twice. Then last year I made the site look like it was painted with Pepto-Bismol. [It also had little kissy-lips icons] That little prank made it into the Strib Hockey Blog [so four people read about it]… DHG figured out how to fix that [even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes], so I pulled his admin privileges so he couldn’t do anything about it. I think he got a bit pissed. This year I went a different direction with the embedded audio file, so the Minnesota Rouser played on every single page on the message board…. It’s really hard to pick a favorite, but if I had to do it I would pick the first time I changed the logo. The first time is always the best for anything.

RWD: Why do so many Gopher fans like the Duluth road trip so much?

JUP: I don’t know about everyone else, but I like it for many reasons. For one thing it’s close to the cities, but not close enough for a home and home so we get to stay the entire weekend. [He means home/away, of course, and those are so stupid.] Having everything you want for a road trip in a few square block radius is awesome too. Hotels, restaurants and many bars are all within a short walk to the DECC. Plus, as long as you are not a jerk [and that’s a gargantuan if], the Bulldog fans are great to hangout with. Quite honestly, I really don’t care how well the Gophers perform during our trip up there. We have a great time no matter what. I can’t say that is the case for a few other WCHA locations I have visited.

RWD: How did you become a Gopher fan?

JUP: I went to Jefferson High School. When one of my favorite players (Tom Pederson) started playing for the U [He played for Miami?], I wanted to follow his career. [Jupiter = jersey chaser!] I pretty much became a Gopher fan right away.

RWD: What is your favorite moment in Gopher hockey history that you have personally witnessed?

JUP: Oh boy… I wasn’t at either of the National Championship games. [What, couldn’t get free tickets so you didn’t go?] So I would have to say the Blake Wheeler overtime winner against UND a few years back to win the Final Five.

RWD: Who are your favorite players, current and all-time?

JUP: Mike Crowley. [Who’s he? He sucks? But srsly, click the link, the song is so badass!] He was just THAT good. [Possibly because he worships Satan.] 157 points in 3 years. That is one point short of the all time record at the U for defensemen. It took current Wild coach Todd Richards 4 years for his 158 points. So the fact the Mike was one point short in only 3 years was amazing. I have yet to have seen a freshman defenceman come in and do what Mike did. [This is the end of this answer, which means he hates all current players. Understandable.]

RWD: Who is the hottest (and by this I mean MOST ATTRACTIVE) Gopher player?

JUP: Terra Rasmussen… I don’t like her bleached hair so much, but she looks fairly cute… Next time you should specify the men’s team so I don’t have an “out” for that question. However, since you asked, I find Alex Kangas’s ears deliciously sexy.*

RWD: Are you pro- or anti-Don Lucia?

JUP: No comment at this time. [Blah. What a wimp.]

RWD: Who will be the next coach of the Gophers?

JUP: If there is a new coach, I would like to see a younger guy. Maybe Scott Bell [head coach of Hamline and Gopher alumnus] or maybe Tom Ward [head coach of Shattuck-St. Mary’s, Gopher alumnus and former Gopher assistant coach]. I am not a huge Blais guy. [Thousands of UND fans just gasped in shock.]

RWD: Why does FSN allow Woog to broadcast with a blood alcohol level of .18?

JUP: Sorry… Not gonna bite on this one. It’s the “Wooger”! [LAMES!]

RWD: How do the Gophers get a win this weekend?

JUP: Luck. [Well, as long as you’ve got a game plan.]

RWD: And how do they lose?

JUP: Just like FireHelmetGuy, they have trouble scoring. It has been their Achilles’ heel all year long. If they can’t put up at least 3, they won’t win.

RWD: Score predictions?

JUP: Friday 3-2 UM[TC][WRONG], Saturday 5-1 UMD [RIGHT]

*May or may not have actually been said by Jupiter.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 26 February 2010 4:45 am

    >Wow, low blow Jup! But good interview!

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