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>It Was A Very Good Year

8 January 2011


Yesterday I was talking to Dirty about when I was in high school and I employed guerilla warfare tactics to try to get a certain guy to go out with me. (I’m still not sure if I was actually successful or not. We are friends and I think he reads this site occasionally, or at least keeps saying he means to, which is probably just a lie. It would really be my luck if this was the first time he surfed on in. Dirty assured me that guys are stupid so I’m going to assume he probably wouldn’t recognize I’m talking about him anyway.) All of a sudden it dawned on me that my stalkerazzi salad days were ten years ago! TEN YEARS!!! What?1?!?!?!? I’m old! It’s horrifying.

The point of this story is not to appear even more scary and aggressive than usual, but rather to segue into discussing the weekend. Tomorrow night tUMD takes on the US NTDP U-18 Team. (They should have a mascot or something. Like the USA Bald Eagles or the USA Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragons.) These kids are freaking young. They were born in 1993! That just made me pull more gray hairs from my head and ears! Frightening. Let’s get some perspective.

Jurassic Park came out and grossed $915 million. Schindler’s List won best Picture and Sookie from that vampire show won her Best Supporting Actress Oscar for The Piano. I was horribly jealous because she and I are the same age and she was in a movie and I was in a summer school theatre production of Aladdin.

River Phoenix overdosed outside the Viper Room. Frank Zappa died. No one cares about this except AJ, but Mayhem guitarist Euronymous was stabbed to death by fellow band member Varg Vikernes. Some people were born, but I’ve never heard of any of them because I don’t watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon.

Tragically, the band Korn was formed. Fortunately, so were the Backstreet Boys! (Who I recently learned are back together.) Arrested Development won best New Artist at the Grammys. Arrested Development! “Mr. Wendal!”

The #1 song on the Billboard Top 100 was “I Will Always Love You.” A much better song, “Whoomp! (There It Is)” was #2.

The other 98 were songs I skated along to at the Roller Gardens.

Saved by the Bell The New Class and Saved By the Bell the College Years debuted, as did Mighty Morphin Power Rangers AND Walker: Texas Ranger. The Wonder Years and Cheers ended.

Czechoslovakia separated into the Czech Republic and Slovakia, Bill Clinton was sworn in as President and Boris Yeltsin was elected. The Brady Bill was signed into law. The Branch Davidians in Waco offed themselves. The World Trade Center was bombed.

Kirby Puckett was the All-Star MVP. That pitcher with no hand threw a no hitter. Jim McMahon, Cris and Anthony Carter, Mike Tice, Randall McDaniel and Fuad Reveiz played for Denny Green and the Vikings. Basketball occurred, I assume.

Guy Carbonneau et les Habitants (avec G.M. Jacques Lemaire) ont gagne le Stanley Cup sur les LA Kings et Wayne Gretzky. Alexandre Daigle was the #1 draft pick, by the Ottawa Senators (#2 was Chris Pronger. Hm…) The North Stars left Minnesota.

Paul Kariya won the Hobey Baker and Maine beat a Jeff Jackson-coached LSSU in the national championship game in Milwaukee. Derek Plante was still playing for the MacNaughton-winning Bulldogs. Bruce Ciskie was on the chess team at Superior High School. Mike Montgomery and Kenny Reiter were in first grade. Christian Gaffy, Justin Faulk and Joe Basaraba were in diapers.

Anyone else feeling a little bit older now?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 8 January 2011 9:41 pm

    >The only good thing about '93 was the grunge.

  2. 10 January 2011 1:46 pm

    >'93 was a complete failure all around for the most part, although I did graduate that year and didn't "fail" at that.Hockey was an almost complete failure; Anaheim and Florida started playing, the North Stars moved (The Wild still sucks). Although NHL93 on the Sega Genesis is still, in my opinion, the best hockey game.At least the numbers on letter jackets looked right; having such a small number just looks weird, especially when they were zeroes (01, 02, etc). Maybe when we get into the 2040's it'll look right again.


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