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At Seventeen

18 January 2012

tUMD 6, Rare Cows 2
tUMD 1, Rare Cows 3

So, we learned the truth at seventeen. Now what?

Whoop some Alabama badonkadonk, I suppose.

Friday night we went to a local watering hole for a RWD viewing party. I guess. I called it that, at least. A friend (and the only Gopher fan in the bunch) was making fun of me for being nervous about the game. Ok, yes, it was only one game, but it was a very high profile game. The national spotlight (which, regrettably, is still rather dim for college hockey) was shining on tDogs. Sure, it was shining on UNO, too, but what did they have to lose other than the game? If they lost, it was expected, can’t fault them, if they win, they get to feel like gods or something for winning a regular season game.

tDogs didn’t screw around in the first period. JT Brown scored 93 seconds into the game, and then Dan DeLisle had a breakaway (repeat, DAN DELISLE HAD A BREAKAWAY), a hilarious breakaway in which a player attempted to check him and just bounced off him, and put the puck behind the geriatric (just look at his photo, how freaking old does he look??) John Faulkner to make it 2-0. Josh Archibald (cousin of Evan Schwabe!) brutalized Jack Connolly on a check from behind (while WEARING A FREAKING JABLONSKI STICKER ON HIS HELMET, HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET???) and was shown the door, but tDogs did not score on the PP, because the PP really sucks. tUMD pretty much dominated the first period but didn’t score any more.

The second period was crap on a cracker. The less said about that, the better.

In the third period, JT Brown scored twice to complete the hat trick (did ANY hats make it on the ice?), Blais sent Faulkner to the glue farm with 6 1/2 minutes remaining, Mike Seidel scored from the neutral zone on the empty net, and then Joe Basaraba rounded out the scoring once the old man was back in the net.

So, tDogs were an unanimous #1 in all polls and rankings, on national television, defending the longest unbeaten streak in college hockey, and they put on a show.

Saturday night didn’t go so well. UNO scored late in the first period, and they have a stupid ritual where they throw a fish on the ice and then Bruce Vilanch comes out in a stupid tiny soapbox derby zamboni thing and picks it up. Why this is not delay of game, I do not know. It is idiotic. Jack Connolly (have you voted for Jack today? On every browser you have on every computer you use, and on your smartphone?) felt the same way and hit the fish with his stick or something and the Mavs fans got all offended. Hey, he’s not the one throwing fish on the ice when there are people homeless and hungry all over the world! Let’s not judge here, mmmkay? In the second period, the perspective-lacking Maverick fans started booing Jack when he touched the puck, and he scored almost immediately after, thus extending his point streak to 20 games. But, sadly, that was it.

Blais declared JT Brown Public Enemy #1 (though he claims he didn’t, he does imply JT got what he deserved, and also claims JT did something worse, because trying to physically injure someone is not nearly as bad as, like, a bad word or gesture. STICKS AND STONES, DEANO. Again! Lacking perspective!), and someone named Zombo attempted to take out his knee, and then when that didn’t work, someone else tried to take out Kenny Reiter while he was headed to the bench on the delayed penalty. So, after that person (an Alex Simonson) was ejected and Zombo was somehow allowed to stay in the game, and then tUMD didn’t get to have a two-man advantage because they invented an extra penalty for Wade Bergman, and then tUMD sucked really badly on the PP, as they are wont to do, and then tUMD lost the game and the streak was over and we all lived.

And now, in just a few days, after TWO LONG MONTHS without a home game, we will welcome our team back to AMSoil Arena and start a new streak. 22 unbeaten should work.

Oh yeah, and


One Comment leave one →
  1. Rushmore permalink
    20 January 2012 10:59 am

    Zombo comes by it naturally, his dad played for the whioux? years ago. The horse apple doesn’t fall far from the horse.


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