Surrender, Dorothy

Hello comrades, how are you all doing? Probably not so well, I’ve been neglecting you all of late. As have our dear players.

Bulldogs, we need to talk. Are we going to have to forfeit Saturdays in order to avoid the painful embarrassment of observing the depths of ineptitude that are at times displayed on the ice? Do we need to have a Come To Jesus moment here? Does Hurricane Sandy need to hit the locker room? Do I care that I made back to back tasteless statements? If a blogger posts on teh Intarwebz and no one is there to read it, is anyone surprised?

I mean, we can’t even blame the Teddy Bear Toss this time around. tUMD learned its lesson and did it at intermission. I assume Champ threw a bear underneath the zamboni. It’s really a good thing it wasn’t done at tUMD’s first goal, because most people were probably comfortably asleep in their seats by that point.

I specifically dislike losing to Buttmidji. They are annoying, and play stupid hockey, and they have lucked into much of their “success” of late, and no one cares about D2 titles because D2 does not even exist anymore, you losers, and I am glad tUMD will be in the NCHC soon and will be rid of them. Of course the school will probably go and do something stupid like play them every year because it’s cheap, and then more posts like this will occur. I do not actually like writing posts like this. I mean, sometimes posts about losing are funny, but IT IS NEVER FUNNY TO LOSE TO BUTTMIDJI. NEVER.

Can everyone just, I don’t know, like try or something? Would that be asking a lot? I am not sure at this point. Is it worth giving it a shot? Could we maybe just see? If the whole trying thing doesn’t work, we can certainly go back to not giving a good gosh darn-doodley-arn. I promise.