Significant Figures

One ten-thousandth of one ratings percentage index point. The razor-thin margin that put tUMD in the NCAA tournament as the final at-large bid. Against overwhelming odds, in a bizarre scenario in which all things went tDogs’ way off the ice when absolutely nothing went their way in the ice, tUMD will be in Fighting Hawks Falls on Friday, facing off against former conference foe Minnesota State.

This is an unbelievable opportunity, and while I know tDogs are anxious to prove that they have more hockey left in them, that they have more to show us than what we saw last weekend, I have a different message.

Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink*
The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think

*please note that in this context, “in the pink” means healthy, perv

Go out there and have a good time playing hockey. Don’t think too hard about this. You worked hard and played well and won lots of games to put yourself in this situation. Don’t let pressure or expectations or fear or impostor syndrome (do men even have that?) get to you. Go out and play hockey and try to win a game. And then another game. And then another one. And then another one. You’ve already done that twice this season. Why not a third time? And you probably won’t even have to play Denver, they’ll probably choke in the first round.

I won’t be in Fhawks Falls to see you guys play on Friday (first week in the new office, second week in the new house), which means you have to win, so that I can come see you guys on Saturday, which means you have to win again. No pressure; I know that the mere idea of my presence will be a powerful motivator.

The great news is that of the 3 teams in the regional, you’ve beaten two of them. (Never mind that they have also beaten you, that is somehow irrelevant. I would explain it to you but I suspect most of my readers are not well-versed in quantum mechanics.) The even greater news is that there will be significantly fewer beet fanatics flipping you off and thumping their chests while shouting their former nickname at you. (Or, more likely, at me. I endure a lot on your behalf, guys.) The somehow even more super greater news is that I bet $5 that you would win it all and I like money. Again, no pressure, it’s only $5, and I haven’t even given the money to Dan of the Week, so I can always renege!