For The Visual Learners
Don’t understand what I’m getting at when I say tUMD needs to change its hockey Twitter accounts?
Here’s a rudimentary visual representation of how we currently talk about hockey:
And here’s a rudimentary visual represention of how we should be discussing hockey:
Got it now?
What’s in a Name?
Didn’t have time to comb through the 121 page document UND released detailing the nickname suggestions under consideration? I am here to copy and paste the highlights for you.
As for the non-considered nicknames, there’s a list of them, too. Don’t click if you don’t like bad words. Like Admiral Ackbar. Pardon my French.
(Ok I fell down the rabbit hole of reading the non-consideration list and laughed for like an hour.)
Ok, back to the list actually under consideration. We have lots of ridiculous submissions, and then some normal ones with ridiculous justifications. I have categorized them for you.
File Under: Delusional
People who refuse to get it
Blackhawks Because there is no chief Indian blackhawk so it isn’t offensive to anyone, and we have the same scoring song as the blackhawks
Cavalry Fighting Sioux was great. But let’s face it, ultimately the US Calvary won. [Congratulations.]
Fighting Tsunami’s Strong, Powerful, Original. [And has nothing to do with beer-bellied neanderthals who will perish if they cannot yell LET’S GO SIOUX.]
Fighting Warriors Still keep Native tradition, and people can still wear beloved garments with logo of Native American, there are Warriors in every culture. [Beloved garments?]
Force Our hockey team is definitely the Force of the North. I think we should buy out the Fargo team’s name. [Why get a free nickname when you can pay for one?
]
Force of North This name is all inclusive for everything about North Dakota. Sioux symbol could still be used. [Facepalm.]
Metis The Metis (maytee) were the children of european men and Indian women. A new nation of people were created. The Fighting Metis of UND. [Another facepalm.]
Natives Close to fighting souix while being being socially correct! Also sounds nice! North Dakota Natives [I got a concussion from facepalming too often.]
4 pages of Nodaks
25 pages of North Dakota
Red Clouds Use the logo from the NDHP cars and ND Hwy Signs. If they can do it, so can UND. [A very petulant submission.]
3 pages of Tsunami [No one is fooled.]
File Under: Politically motivated
People who don’t like liberals.
2%ers Because at UND the opinion of 2% of the people control what everyone else MUST feel. [MAJORITY RULE! WE TRAMPLE THE WEAK!]
7th Cavalry Shows history of North Dakota and shouldn’t piss off any bleeding heart liberals [Well then.]
Bleating Sheep Baaaaa
Cowboys or Oilmen Honor the people who settled the land if the liberals want to have the Sioux people fade into history. [Thank the Great White Saviors of the UND fanbase for keeping the Dakota people from disappearing!]
Ermines Native to state / Unique and memorable / Easy to rally around / Cute but fierce / Politically safe / Not divisive among existing factions [Not divisive? I disagree]
Fighting Frackers Drill baby, drill.
Foreigners Because the NCAA wants a name that is less “native” [I would love to see the mascot/logo for this one.]
Free or Freedom “O’er the land of the FREE and the home of the SIOUX” mascot honors our service men at GFAFB. Camo with UND grn reflects passion for hunting [Note: Servicewomen can go eff themselves, this person implies.]
Mice Because UND is afraid to stand up to anyone about anything [They are standing up to you idiots who won’t let the racist nickname die.]
Patriots American/1st Amendment representation [I’m surprised that the 2nd Amendment wasn’t mentioned too! Guns!]
Seanators Because of the polotics [Yeah, Seans are just so polotical.]
Shills North Dakota is not a real place. Its just used for tax purposes in Obamas run for third term. [Is there a pamphlet on this?]
File Under: How did this make it through?
These probably should have been on the other list.
2’s Not only does Grand Forks smell like #2, but UND takes #2’s in all big game situations. [Accurate.]
Abdominal Snowmen Because f*** it why not, it’s basically the north pole there. [Abdominal?]
Fighting Moles Because of Faisons huge mole on his forehead [I’ve never seen him, is that true?]
Fire Faisons He retired the Fighting Sioux, and now he should retire too [I’m getting mixed messages. Should he be fired? Or retire?]
Forkers For Grand Forks of course and UND mascot can be a large utensil… [I like it.]
Geckos Geckos are f****** bada** and our colors could still be green and white. They are are also cold blooded which is cool. [Swearing!]
Hedgehogs Ron Jeremy is my inspiration. [Is Scott Owens taking over when Hak gets fired?]
Iron Chancellors Bismarck (capital ND/dominant statesman in Europe in 19th century) Stands for strenght and wise politics [See, my suggestions weren’t as stealthy as this. Genius.]
Imperials Honor Ralph by naming the team after his casino that made him the money to build the world class facility that we get to play hockey in [I can’t tell if this is serious or not.]
Landon Bahlers does Landon shave yet? why is a pre-pubescent spoiled little s*** like him on this committee??? [This feels personal.]
Merkins North Dakotans love their public wigs [I don’t think those wigs are allowed to be shown in public.]
Mountees I mean you guys are in canada right? [Mounties.]
Neanderthals Less offensive. [Than what?]
SIeves your goalie is a great big sieve [Yes.]
Sinking Ship The athletic department is a sinking ship, anchored down by the hockey program. [A bold statement.]
Skunks People from North Dakota refuse to take showers and smell funny; just like skunks. They have a natural aura of skunk poop. [Seriously, this made the list but mastodon did not?]
Skunks People from UND smell bad [Yes this is on the list twice but it’s funny.]
Snowflake city White people [What about them?]
File Under: Submitted while on LSD/Meth
You’ll see.
Allsaints giving THEM ALL CLOUT IS MY BEST ANSWER.
Awares They’re on point and awake. Looking to the future, proud, unifying and unique.
CHILL CHILLING IS ACTIVE, SURELY REPRESENTATIVE OF THE STATE, AND NON-HUMAN SPECIFIC, ALTHOUGH THE ACT OF “CHILLING OUT” IS COMMON PARLANCE.
Citronaut Worked well for Florida Technical School before switching to Knights … There is literally nothing cooler than a Astronaut thats an Orange
Cube Gets ice & math. It is borgish – the borg. Resistance is futile, we will assimilate you. Simple name and image that can be broadly cast
Foxes Lux et Lex sounds like something out of Fox in Socks by Dr Seuss.
Frozen Fury Saw a rocket in Witmer Hall on campus shortly after losing the nickname… sums up our winter storms and sports passion
greenmen lady green
Green Speed Green for color and it does not divorce entirely from what we were. Speed for fierceness and the history behind the phrase “speed kills” …
High Plains Drifters Everybody loves Eastwood. And he always wins.
ironhorse notusedelsewheredenotesvitalitymightstrenghtunendingworkethicrailroadpopulatednorthdakotaindispensibleton.d.economy ads linkupwith bnsf.
Moles HAPPY MOLE DAY 2 U [Thank you]
Narwhals As the Majestic Unicorn is considered fictional, nature has given us the Narwhal; an aquatic equivalent. ND is that hidden gem of the USA.
Predators stalking Wolves roam north datoka, they are one of the must feared predators
Xiphactinus
File Under: Obsessed
It goes both ways.
Baby Bison Much like the University of Ohio’s juxtaposition to Ohio State University in national sport prominence, UND will become a little cousin
Buffalo Buffalo are wild and free and used to roam our land. Plus our two biggest schools in the state would have similar inspiring nicknames
Buffalo I think it would really bug NDSU if we had a very similar mascot. That would be fun
Exterminators Death to Gophers
Fire Cause you’ve already spent so much money on your non Sioux UND logo….why not just copy and paste onto your NCAA team mascot application? [I don’t know what this means.]
Fishers Fishers are fierce fighters and carnivores native to the red river valley (a large mink). Suggest a logo with a dead gopher in it’s mouth!
four pages of Flickertails [Probably from GPL.]
Point Sixers A play on the name of the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers. / UND lost to Minnesota in the 2014 semi-final with 0.6 seconds left. [We all remember.]
Rat Dogs I believe that it would represent our past history. We have had a lot of history playing teams that have mascots that are rodents and dogs
Spacklers Carl Spackler (most lethal gopher hunter in history). [I missed the alternate ending to Caddyshack I guess.]
Tatankas Native American (Lakota) word for buffalo…I’m sure NDSU wouldn’t mind! 😉 [Yes, we all saw Dances With Wolves. It won Best Picture.]
Unison Well they are lower than the Bison at everything they do. Bi=2 Uni=1
File Under: Submitted by the same idiot who chose the name “Wild”
No no no no no no no no no.
A-Mazers The team members are always amazed that they are given the opportunity to play in a sport. Each is amazed too at the wonders of our bodies, and ho[some stuff that got cut off]
Brilliance
Blazing-Energy
Edge UND offers highest level of development, on the ‘cutting edge’. Indians would kill bison by running them off cliff edges. ND is edge of US.
Envy “Green with Envy,” green being the primary color of UND. / Doesn’t pigeonhole you in to a specific design or mascot and is unique. [Why not Lust or Gluttony instead?]
Epic Prairie Stars Says our open prairie is like none other. [This was written by magnetic poetry.]
Epic Stars Says oodles of our state, its people and the high quality of those who represent UND
Fighting Fierce “Fighting” maintains the tradition of the name, while “Fierce” looks to the future, even as it coincides with UNDs sports image. [How does Fierce look to the future? Is Rupaul our next president? I hope so.]
GENERATION “Here comes the GENERATION of the U of ND.”
GREEN KEEN
Kodies North Dakota = Kodies / Bear logo or a cowboy
Loyal T’s T = teammates working together not for fame, but for the experience and joy of each game as they go forward in blessings [I can’t.]
Nords a word loosely used in reference to people’s of the north. Exactly what we here in ND are, and what we’re proud of being
Star Voyageurs Symbolizes our outlook.
Tundra Where else in the USA would fit this mascot name? Nowhere. [Not part of the USA: states with actual tundra in them. States that don’t have tundra: North Dakota.]
File Under: Written either in crayon or on a typewriter
Written by children or old crackpots who write letters to the editor of the Fargo Forum.
Bassett Hounds Bassett hounds are great dogs with good smell When they come out onto the ice the music can saycan you smell what the hounds r cooking [Probably written by Biddy.]
Fighting Farmers WHY YOU ASK – BECAUSE EVERY NORWEGIAN IN THE STATE WOULD BE HONORED.
Green Monsters This is just a fun, creative name. My grandpa came up with this… I promised I’d submit it. hahaha xoxo your grand daughter
Orangutans Orangutans are awesome [They are.]
Sizzlers Because of a 1961 state basketball championship team from Grafton. Star player sizzled for 31 points before 3 pointers were invented [Glory days, they’ll pass you by, glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye.]
Water Buffalo There is a video that shows a baby water buffalo being attacked by lions. The whole herd of family comes and saves it from the lion. [Sad.]
File Under: You know there’s more than one sport at UND, right?
The answer is no.
Blades One of ND’s most defining geographical features is the prairie. Lots of grass! / Razor sharp research here! / Hockey blades! / Sounds AWESOME!
Blades We have an exceptional hockey team that everyone loves. [Not me!]
FLAMINGOS I think it would be cute for a flamingo mascot to skate on one leg before the hockey games. Also, it works since our colors are green&pink.
Ice Daggers Ice suggests the climate and our grit to survive. Daggers are hand combat fighting tools. Ice also aludes to ice hockey.
Ice Walkers Some of our hockey players can barely put one foot in front of the other, when they first walk out on the ice. When they become young men & wome[some gibberish that was cut off]
Jayhawks Because UND is a very good hockey team and they just sore though the games they play and go through tournaments fast and win all the time!
Pucks
Super Tsunami Like the infamous northern and tidal winds, UND hockey is strong, mind-blowing and epic [You morons just don’t get it.]
Wranglers We already have a Cowboy hat guy running around with UND flag at football games. I believe Wranglers is available and not used by many
File Under: You’re thinking too hard about this
I swear some of these people conducted their own market research.
Armour Armour is an unbreakable force that warriors use when going into battle. Also, Under Armour could sponsor us. [Submitted by a Canadian.]
Berserkers it has norse orgins and then we could nick name the ralph “valhalla” [The Ralph already has a nickname: “The Ralph.” Or “The Puke.”]
Blizzards Climatologically North Dakota is way up there for the most frequent and intense blizzard occurrences in the country. [Do you have some documentation to back that up?]
Brontops A Brontop was a dinosaur that was native to North Dakota. The name meets the criteria and a mascot/logo would be easy to create and market.
Champs Abbrv. for Champsosaurus, dino native to ND. Statement re: success too. Looked like gator, scary & fans can do arm chomp thing like Florida. [How unique to copy another school!]
CHILL Cool. The call could be for the opponents to chill – we will win anyway. This brings ice, cold, storm, chiver concepts. [What a dumb slogan.]
Cormorants Large, majestic bird that is found in ND. Tough, quite a survivor (pop. rebounded after DDT affected eggs in 1970s). Unique. [This must be from a liberal!!]
Fighting Flaxseeds This would be incredibly unique, and is representative of one of NDs top products. It would be highly recog. and is not offensive to anyone! [The Flaxseed lobby is all over this!]
Grand Green Incorporating the location and main school color to create a unique and distinctive identity.
green prairie the colors of und are green north Dakota is a wonderful prairie
Monarchs Like a lion (not butterfly) Like king of the jungle. It is powerful, fierce, unique, and something people would be proud of.
Poets There is poetry in winning the right way. Thus, the Poets [Maybe start winning the right way first.]
River Wilde Indicative of the proximity to the Red River as well as the strength of the mighty Red River, which has unfortunately flooded the town.
Spirit Several references can be made. Death to previous nickname, strong spirit for the school as a whole and the exceptional hockey team
True North This name includes part of the state name and also indicates the direction used world wide for navigation and way finding. compass [O Canada.]
Verdenero Combination of Green and Black in Italian. Very simple. Very distinctive. [Simple?]
File Under: Submitted by cats
Cats I like cats
Greenies
File Under: We are not fooled, these were all submitted by the same person
Doers American Indians were the first Doers, then the farmers, ranchers, now UND faculty, staff, students. alums. I have an image: Jim Papacek
Doers DOERS are the immigrants and the roughnecks who make it all possible. / DOERS are the sandbaggers and architects of North Dakota’s future.
Doers DOERS are the people who roll up their sleeves and muscle the job done. / DOERS call UND home. czeczok3@msn.com Jim Papacek
Doers DOERS are the: Sodbusters, Farmers, Ranchers, / DOERS are the good politicians, teachers,and dreamers with drive. / DOERS are the service people
Doers Doers get the job done in their historical time frame to make North Dakota prosper. DOERS ARE THE SIOUX! / DOERS are the: Native Americans
ProngBucks a.k.a. Prong Horn, Spring Buck, indigenous to ND, fastest land animal in N. hemisphere, e.g. 55 mph for .5m
SpringBucks a.k.a. Prong Horn, Prong Buck, indigenous to ND, fastest land animal in N. hemisphere, e.g. 55 mph for .5m
File Under: $$$$$$$$
Ermines There is no number two. Ermines is numbers one and two. It is perfect, and if adopted, I will buy a shirt immediately [Gotta get that UND merch moving again]
File UNDer: You see what I did there???
Did you?
Hounds H.umans O.f U.N.D. It shows passion, determination, and people would rally behind it. Mascot could be simple or complex – paw-scratch-face [Paw-scratch-face is what happens when I sleep too late and my cat wants food.]
ScoUNDrals It has UND in the name and our fans are like a bunch of Han Solos- the coolest cat in the galaxy. He made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.
SoUND We are the past present and future combined. We are the soUND of success, integrity and pride
Thunder Hawks Thunder has UND init. ThUNDer
UNDaunted Those who settled ND as well as those who fly in air and space now and in the future were/are/will be bold and unafraid. Begins with “UND”.
UNDeniables
UNDertakers Not only contains UND in the name, but supports the mortuary sciences program. Not to mention it has a little intimidation factor to it.
WolfhoUNDs Wolf says strength, fierceness and passion and hoUND incorporates UND.
File Under: You do know what the school colors are, right?
Submissions that would only work for the colorblind.
Golden Retrievers [With Air Bud as the mascot.]
REDTAILED HAWKS BEING ON THE RED RIVER, WE COULD USE “RED RIVER REDS” FOR THE CHEER DURING GAMES AND OTHER EVENTS. / IT IS A BIRD THAT SOARS LIKE O[some gibberish that got cut off]
Red Wolves Wolves are becoming a more prominent species in ND. “Red” because the school is located on the Red River.
File Under: ???????????????
I do not even know.
Auroras haha remember when that was gonna be the name of the arena, as submitted by the public, then a bank bought the rights?
Camels
Corgis If the first option is too offensive [I can only imagine what that was]
Curlers Curling is a team sport that demands precision and excellence of all members to a common goal. And Canada would love it. [I don’t think UND has a varsity curling team but ok.]
Data Miners Miners is obvious. data would make UND the first team with a computer connotation [Engineers doesn’t count?]
Diamond Cutters Diamonds are hardest, most inpenetrable substance on Earth, symbolic of our athletic teams, but we also cut through them like champions do [Champions cut through diamonds? Also isn’t this a drink?]
Earthtillers ND is the most farm related state. There a 3 times more cattle than people and number 3 in sugar, number one durum, 12 bil. Bread loves [??? I don’t know if this is the end or what?]
Fantasies Because North Dakota is a made up state [Made up city, made up girlfriend.]
Flaming green Red river rats
Flying Fairies Because that’s the only thing better than the Fighting Sioux. Regardless of who you pick students will still cheer the Sioux chants! FOREVER
Flying Flyin Norskies [Seems redundant.]
Frigid flickers Flicker is a mysterious bird of ND
Greenbacks Green is already one of UND’s colours. The name is unisexual and can apply to the grass plains of the state. [Unisexual?]
Green Fangs It’s green and a bit more menacing. [This would possible be the first dental-related mascot in sports.]
Muddy River Source of our character — the Red River: muddy, treacherous and nurturing. [Is this a sports nickname or a blues band?]
Night Riders Cause it was an awesome tv show. [That’s Knight Rider, stupid.]
Pink Flikers A playoff of our school colors and one of our older names [This might be inappropriate but I’m not sure.]
Potato diggers Lots of potatoes grown here. It would be like the Nebraska cornhuskers and in the movie Centennial
SNOW DOGS NICKNAME FOR A TEAM UP IN THE NORTHERN TIER, BIG SAMOID HUSKY FOR A MASCOT. [A husky mascot? How original!]
You’re welcome.
Otherness
People got their undies in all manner of bunches in January when I stated “You’re not a real hockey fan if you only support men’s programs.” I’m certainly not backing off of that statement now or any time in the future.
Women’s hockey is a subset of the sport of hockey. Or, to be specific, women’s ice hockey is a subset of the sport of ice hockey. So is men’s ice hockey. Women’s hockey is not a separate sport.
I say this because I have asked UMD athletics via social media many times why they name their twitter accounts the way they do. They have one account for women’s hockey news and updates, @UMDWHOCKEY, and one account for men’s hockey news and updates, @UMDHOCKEY. I’ve been ignored, probably because it’s seen as a trivial thing, but I don’t think it’s trivial.
Why must it be hockey and women’s hockey? Why can’t it be @UMDMHOCKEY and @UMDWHOCKEY? It’s a very simple change. It might be a good time to make that change, too, considering tUMD women’s hockey has been treated rather badly of late by some in the athletic department and administration.
A Twitter username change isn’t that hard. It doesn’t require a new account, the username can be changed in the settings. No one would have to re-follow. Get it done, Bob Nygaard. It’s an easy fix. You may think it’s a small change, just one letter, who really cares? If that’s the case, then do it. This small gesture would be a step toward mending some fences and smoothing some ruffled feathers. It would show that both programs have value, that hockey isn’t just for men.
Referring to men’s hockey as hockey while referring to women’s hockey as women’s hockey is reinforcing the otherness of women’s hockey. Hockey is for men, women’s hockey is for women. It’s like calling a woman “the female Jonathan Toews” or calling a black author “the black Hemingway.”
Women’s sports have a long way to go toward mainstream acceptance. tUMD is hardly the only institution that uses women’s as a qualifier. The Star Tribune has “Minnesota Hockey Hub” and “Minnesota Girls Hockey Hub.” (The banner of the actual MN Hockey Hub site is now Boys’s Hockey Hub, but the website title and URL remain). The Gophers have the same issue on social media. Bemidji doesn’t even seem to have a women’s hockey twitter account, and the account that allegedly covers both hasn’t tweeted in like 3 years. Boston University has the same issue as tUMD and UMTC, so it’s not even a regional thing. Even the Tree Hugging Bleeding Heart Socialist East Coast Liberals can’t seem to use inclusive language to publicize their hockey teams.
How is it the second least progressive state in the country, after Utah, can have their hockey teams’s accounts named equitably? North Dakota’s hockey Twitter accounts are @UNDWHOCKEY and @UNDMHOCKEY. That’s embarrassing. (Updated: Jack Hittinger informed me Bemidji is also on the Inclusivity Train. Their accounts are @BSUMHOCKEY and @BeaverWoHockey. Come on, a MNSCU school is more enlightened than tUMD? GET ON IT.)
UMD athletics, Josh Berlo, Bob Nygaard, etc. Change the freaking Twitter handle, please.
Match Game
The season’s over, Providence and Minnesota-Twin Cities are the new national champions, the Stanley Cup playoffs have begun, it’s warm in Duluth (not for long)… what to do? What to write about?
Why don’t I shamelessly ask my vast readership for money?
I signed up for the Be The Match 5K in Minneapolis and I am supposed to be raising money for it. I don’t like to ask people for money, even when it’s for charity. But I must.
The Be The Match Foundation helps cure blood cancers, aplastic anemia, and a host of other diseases by matching bone marrow donors with recipients; supporting and educating patients, families, and medical professionals; and conducting research to improve survival rates for blood cancers, cure disease, and improve the quality of life of patients. My wonderful sister-in-law worked for them for several years, before departing for the vast wasteland that is North Dakota. Two members of my family have received marrow transplants (and are thriving, despite the Gophers’s best efforts to ruin the quality of life of one them…), another died young from leukemia, and I lost this guy, a huge hockey and metal dork, to non-Hodgkin lymphoma in 2008. I’m running this race in honor or memory of all these great people.I am sure all of you have similar stories, happy or sad.
While I know all these people who have benefited or could have benefited from a bone marrow transplant, the story of someone I don’t know and will never know has stuck with me for years. Mandi Schwartz, a Yale hockey player, was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in 2008. Many of you may remember the push from the college hockey community to find a donor for her. She didn’t find a donor but did get a stem cell transplant in 2010, which led to a brief remission of her disease. Her cancer returned, and Mandi died in April of 2011, a week after her brothers had lost to Michigan in the NCAA West Regional final (CC’s only goal was scored by Rylan, assisted by Jaden). I cried when I found out she had died, even though I didn’t know her or her family. I felt so sad for her family and her teammates. It was a painful reminder that even a transplant isn’t a guarantee of a clean bill of health. I’m running this race to honor her legacy.
The search for a donor for Mandi actually generated matches for six people who were waiting for transplants. You can help by joining the registry, and you can help by making a financial donation to my fundraising page. I would be forever grateful. I might even say a nice thing about your team, even if you’re a UND fan.
Thanks for indulging me in this not quite hockey related post. If you are able and compelled to donate, please do.
If You Leave Me Now
There’s nothing we can do about the departure of our seniors; they’ve exhausted their eligibility. But we have so many talented juniors, sophomores, and freshmen who we need to return next year. The men’s team team is ready to make a deep run in the NCAAs next year, if everyone comes back. The women’s team has an exciting new coach and quality returning players, but the loss of a few top players could mean a disastrous season for our Doggies.
Players, we need you all. We need Toronto, Anaheim, and Minnesota to keep their grubby little mitts off our drafted players. We need the other WCHA coaches (or even other leagues?) to stop sniffing around our players. We need ALL NHL teams to keep their grimy hands off of our undrafted superstars. We need our committed players honoring their national letters of intent, or signing them if they are not signed yet.
I don’t know that there’s a single person playing Bulldog hockey who would benefit from leaving the team. Why start your NHL career now, when you could be captain of your hometown team? Why ask for a release, leave, sit out a year, and then re-start your college career with a new team, when you’re a part of the most storied program in women’s college hockey?
I also don’t know if anyone is in serious danger of leaving. Andy Welinski is weighing his options. Sometimes guys surprise us and leave. Our athletic director said no women’s players have asked for a release. Other sources say three players have, and one recruit has not signed her NLI. (A release just means a player can talk to other teams, not that she is definitely leaving.) I don’t know the circumstances or the timing of these events (or non-event, in the case of the NLI), nor can I verify which case is true (the AD’s or the Reinstate Miller FB page). I hope once the new coaching staff is in place, the concerns of any players or recruits are assuaged.
Let me be one little, insignificant voice out there saying don’t go. Stay another year, two years, all the years you can. Whatever else is beckoning can wait. Stay a Bulldog, all of you.
Our Short Regional Nightmare Is Over
We have a new head coach!
tUMD hired Harvard associate head coach Maura Crowell to fill the head coaching vacancy caused by… all that foofaraw that occurred over the last few months of the season.
First of all, welcome Ms. Crowell! I am very excited you’re coming to Duluth. I expect about 8 national championships in the next 5 years.
Coach Crowell is from Mansfield, MA, was a forward at Colgate, was a head coach at UMass Boston, and during her time as an assistant at Harvard, took over as head coach for a year when Katey Stone was off coaching Team USA. I am glad to have a coach who has been mentored by the great Coach Stone.
I’m looking forward to seeing who the assistant coaches will be. I would guess Laura Bellamy, Denfeld alumna and current Harvard assistant coach, might be in the running. Maybe Coach Kingsbury would be? I don’t know. If you have any other guesses, let me know.
So far no players or committed recruits have asked to leave, but of course they just dumped this news on us on a Friday afternoon, which also happens to be a holiday some people celebrate. Or observe, because I think it’s supposed to be one of those sad panda holidays. I don’t know that anyone would leave. It’s not like there’s a vast network of junior hockey teams waiting to absorb the de-commits, like there are in men’s hockey.
There’s no doubt about it, next season is going to be weird. First of all, we’ve lost a boatload of talent. Second of all, the current players are going to be adjusting to a new system. Third of all, from what I’ve been led to believe, the stands will be teeming with women’s hockey fans who were only staying away because they hated Coach Miller. Every game will be a sellout!
I believe Coach Crowell has the potential to breathe new life into this program, and I hope she can bring our Bulldogs back where they belong: the top of the WCHA standings and the NCAA championship game.
I Ain’t Mad At Cha
tUMD 4, UMTC 1/tUMD 2, Narrative 3
I should have written a post yesterday, one of jubilation and renewed hope, because yesterday’s game was a blast. It was so unexpected! The Gophers basically rolled over and died. I am never going to be particularly thrilled with how the regular season ended, but tDogs used their break well and managed to recall how to play hockey rather quickly, without giving up any goals while they were still finding their game. Thanks, guys, for letting my uncle and aunt (tUMD alumni) and their progeny (raised in New England but Dogs fans through and through) see you stomp on the Gophers once again.
The season is over, but tDogs fought hard all the way to the end. Willie Corrin saved an ENG that would have removed any hope of a comeback. tDogs contained Eichel and left him without a point. Even when they were on their heels, they remained composed. When tDogs finally got control after being bottled up in the defensive zone for eons, Welinski held the puck and allowed his teammates to change. Smart hockey from smart players and smart coaches.
The game ended controversially, first with a late PP leading to the GWG (while tUMD had 0 PPs), then with a play where the puck may or may not have gone into the net. I don’t ever want to know if the puck went into the net or not. I would prefer to go on believing it did not. If it did, there’s nothing we can do about it now except be mad. I don’t want to be mad about this season, it was a great season with great players who did great things.
Thanks guys for a great season. I would have loved to see you in Boston, though I’ve been agonizing about how I would do it without completely tanking my semester. It would have been amazing, and the RWD Army would have been there en masse, four generations strong, but we would be happy to make a trip to Tampa to see you guys next year.
The Fab Four
I am so tired. What a weekend.
This may come as a surprise to many people, but it is completely possible and in fact probable that a fan can enjoy the NCHC tournament even if their own team is not there. And you don’t even have to wear a giant costume, although that helps. I recommend planning to attend well in advance, and then it’s an added bonus if your team is there! And also a burden because it’s much more stressful when the games actually mean something personally.
tDogs have never played in the NCHC tournament and they stunk it up in the Final Five the last few years in the WCHA, so I have had to make the best of it without them lately.
This year was a lot better than last year because it wasn’t bitterly cold out. Last year I remember trying to find a place to go between games and just hating it because everywhere was packed and we were forced back out into the cold. This year we didn’t leave between the games on Friday because we wanted to be there for warm-ups, but we left on Saturday to go to The Depot between games. (Good food but slow service.) (Also The Aaaahj was describing The Depot to my dad in relation to First Avenue, and I said “I’m pretty sure the only time my dad’s been to First Avenue was when it was the bus station.” Truth.)
Friday afternoon’s game was decent, if only because I enjoy watching drunk sad pandas file out of the arena in droves. I also laughed pretty hard when St. Cloud scored to tie and then take the lead, all with under 25 seconds left in the period. Joey Benik’s goal with 5 seconds left in the period was fantastic. I actually cheered for St. Cloud, which pained me, but it would have pained me more to cheer for UND. Also it ensured six NCHC teams made it into the NCAA tournament, which is hilarious. The NCHC did what the Big 10 thought they could do. Haw haw!
Friday night’s game wasn’t exactly a marquee matchup, since Miami and DU brought about 11 fans between them. Miami did bring their band and mascot, which was outstanding. Since Miami didn’t have any fans, we decided we would give them our support.
KAW! We KAWed at the Miami players during warm-ups, which they probably found very odd. Then we ended up on TV KAWing during one of Miami’s goals.
Some of the game wasn’t very fun because this unbelievably drunk St. Cloud fan didn’t understand we weren’t really Miami fans and didn’t really care if he wanted to trash talk us. Biddco finally just KAWWWWed at him every time he tried to talk, like Dr. Evil.
Some other St. Cloud fans stepped in and tried to shut him up, but then he wouldn’t leave them alone and security came and talked to him, but didn’t kick him out. He finally went away when I stopped being polite and started getting real.
We also met the Miami mascot, Swoop.
He seemed puzzled by our KAWing, even though we were speaking his language. I don’t know why KAW isn’t catching on. It should be sweeping the nation.
During our strut around the upper deck looking for Swoop, Dirty used the water fountain to take a birdbath and I almost peed my bird onesie laughing.
Saturday afternoon, UND lost again. The rest of the game was fairly uneventful. The most important part of the game was the intermission entertainment. Biddy, Brian, some other UND fan, and some Gopher fan were in a footrace around the ice. Biddy smoked the competition and then did a Kyle Schmidt snow angel across the finish line. (Facebook is stupid and won’t let me embed the video so you actually have to click.)
We changed into our costumes for the championship game and KAWWWWed ourselves silly. Some Miami fans (wearing Spandex suits) invited us down to join them. On our way there, we found St. Cloud’s mascot and Biddy “pecked” at his eye. He was admonished by security. We made our way down to meet the Miami fans, who were sitting on the glass (which is a horrible place to sit if you want to see the whole game). Dirty came down after us and told us that security was not going to let us sit in the seats. I don’t know why, we’d just gotten there. The Miami fans told us they had been harassed by security multiple times, had been forced to prove they had tickets for the seats they were in, and had been admonished for any number of petty offenses. Security came and got us after about four minutes. One of the security guards told me the league had told them we couldn’t sit there. Considering the league had had absolutely no time to respond to us getting into the seats, since we were not even in the seats before security told Dirty we couldn’t sit there, I knew this was a lie.
This was a real black eye on the weekend for me. All four of us are “season ticket holders” for the tournament; two of us were from the fanbase that basically carries the weekend, and two of us were from a fanbase whose team wasn’t there, the type of fans who the NCHC should be courting. We weren’t swearing or fighting with anyone, we were cheering and adding to the atmosphere of the game, we were making friends with other fans, and overall having a good time. There was NO reason for security to come after us.
The other black eye for the tournament is the eating/drinking contests they have. I don’t want to see someone chug pickle juice. Stop.
(edit) Folks from BC and Wisconsin were in town for the women’s Frozen Four and decided to come to the championship game. I was so excited to meet Nicole, freelancer extraordinaire and Bucky’s 5th Quarter contributer, Emily, a Badger fan, Jackie, who contributes to Goon’s blog, and Grant and Joe from BC Interruption. It was so cool to see fans from teams not even in the conference at the tournament.
(We made Phil stand in this picture because the BC guys wanted a UND jersey in the photo.)
Most hilarious Twitter exchange of the weekend? After we stole a bag of food from the Keebler Elf, we ate cookies like Cookie Monster and made a huge mess. (We declined to eat like birds, as spitting chewed up food into each other’s mouths sounded unpleasant.)
The weekend ended with Miami gooning its way to a championship. It’s not every day you see a hat trick (where ZERO HATS WERE THROWN ON THE ICE, GET IT TOGETHER MIAMI FANS) and a match penalty from the same player. Six NCHC teams will make it to the NCAA tournament, and tUMD will be sent to Manchester, home of Oasis; A Clockwork Orange’s author, Anthony Burgess; and JJ Thomson, discoverer of the electron. ‘Dogs fans are #ManchesterUnited!
Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?
tUMD 3, Redchickens 1/tUMD 3, Redchickens 4 (OT)
tUMD 3, tOSU 1/tUMD 5, tOSU 2
This is the only Meat Loaf song I enjoy. Thanks Bruce for inspiring me with your stupid Meat Loaf comment on the broadcast.
There’s not really a point to rehashing last weekend on a Wednesday night (that’s right, I wrote this last night and you’re reading it this morning), but I liked the post idea so I’m going to go with it.
I’m a little burned out on hockey as well as on life right now, so I’m ashamed to say I missed tUMD’s home ice-clinching sweep of the Scary Mascots. Knowing I’d be spending a significant portion of the following weekend at the rink, I decided to stay home, work on homework, and be an overall loser at life. I’m sad to have missed two excellent performances from tDogs, but I look forward to tDogs getting their revenge on Buttmidji Friday and Saturday (no need for Sunday, we can sweepity sweep).
Friday was a nice win for tUMD men against Miami, and it looked like they were cruising toward a sweep, but then opted to implode with some ill-timed penalties and some extremely unfortunate defence in overtime. I don’t get it. tDogs finally got a handle on Friday nights, winning the last 3 Fridays following a questionable (from an officiating standpoint) loss to Denver and a QUESTIONABLE (from a playing standpoint) loss to Buttmidji in the Greedy Gopher Grab. Now they can’t figure out Saturdays? I guess cosmic light came into their life and they thought they were divine? I don’t know.
What I do know is I’d like to see eight wins in the next two weekends for our squads to close out the regular season for the men, and to secure an NCAA playoff slot for the women. If both teams are at their very best, there’s no reason why that can’t happen. IF. IF. IF.
Lift Every Voice and Cheer
Yesterday the DNT published a letter from a tUMD men’s hockey season ticket holder about an ongoing gripe among hockey fans.
Ha! Gotcha, you thought this was another letter about the coaching situation on the women’s team, didn’t you? No, it’s about how fans aren’t loud enough.
This guy’s letter was a little different, because unlike most people, he didn’t just call out the students, he called out the old people too.
He starts out by chastising tUMD fans for not showing up at the NCHC tournament last year. He asks, “How fantastic it would be if we had more Bulldog fans who would travel down with us in support of our team?” I would counter by asking, how fantastic would it have been if tUMD had actually been at the tournament? It would have been 11 metric fantastics, or 6.3*10^11 British Standard Fantastics. Also I was there in tUMD gear and so was my family, and we were louder than Denver and Miami fans combined. Just sayin’. Kaw.
Then he calls out the student section for being crappy and not having loud, creative, or funny chants anymore. I will refer him to Biddco, who has independently confirmed that the smart phone era has killed our student section.
The letter is strange and kind of all over the place, like he wrote some of it at one time, then came back and wrote some more without re-reading the first part, and then he forgot to put in a bunch of other stuff. It reads like some RWD blog posts! Anyway, his first paragraph is right. We can all do better.
People need to cheer more, and not just when others are cheering. I know we are like 99% Scandinavian in ancestry, or if not Scandinavian, some other sort of stoic European nation, but it’s not an actual crime to yell out “Come on, ‘Dogs!” or “Let’s go!” or some other totally generic phrase. You don’t have to come up with something creative or earth-shattering, you can leave that to Biddy and me. Sometimes just squawking is acceptable; sometimes one just cannot find appropriate words to express just how crazy a situation is.
No one should be embarrassed to cheer. I mean, other than people who yell SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOT the second a power play begins. Although really, those people are 100000000x better than people who sit on their hands until the video board gives them permission to make an appropriate amount of noise that will blend in to the general noise so no one can really hear them.
Of course, it’s hard not to be embarrassed to cheer when others around you act like you have just audibly farted during a funeral. Or like you’ve screamed something vulgar during a moment of silence in memory of a coach’s father… I suppose because it’s dead silent in the arena, a person might get confused and think they are in a library or church or something.
The arena seems to be set up to muffle crowd noise. How can I be shouting and have someone a section over from me unable to hear it? The most passionate students, who stand behind the goal to harass the goalie, end up screaming into the glass. This isn’t going to change, so that’s just another reason why individual fans need to get over their fear of looking like a moron and just go for it.
Unfortunately, many cheers are stifled just as they get started, thanks to a stoppage of play and the ridiculously loud Nickelback/Van Halen/whatever music that blasts from whistle to puck drop, killing any crowd buzz that might have started thanks to a scrum around the net or back-and-forth play or whatever exciting on-ice play occurred.
The bottom line? There are a lot of excuses not to cheer, and we need to replace those excuses with solutions, and be loud. Stand up, old people, and be heard. Otherwise how else will Shepherd know he’s wrong and Rau know he sucks and is a big whiny diving baby?
Runnin' With the Dogs 
