>The Truth Is Out There
I have been secretly gathering intel on Dirty for WEEKS, for exactly this purpose. I didn’t know exactly how he would strike, but I knew I needed to be ready.
Dirty’s parents (whose basement he resides in) sent me his baby picture.
He insists on using a litter box instead of a toilet.
Dirty’s favorite song is “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz. He also likes Panic! at the Disco.
Dirty let Zach Jones pierce his nipple. Just the left one.
Dirty’s dream home is a single-wide trailer in St. Cloud, MN. With DudeLove as a roommate.
When Dirty was last suspended from USCHO, he cried for a week.
He cried harder than that during John Denver’s Wildlife Concert.
His favorite blog is Hammy’s.
The above photo is security camera footage of Dirty moments before he stole an old woman’s purse. That old “woman” turned out to be PCM.
Dirty stole the Lindbergh baby.
For every post Dirty makes on USCHO, he donates $.01 to PBS. He calls in every individual pledge. They’ve tried to block his number, but he’s resorted to using pay phones.
You know that elevator TJ Oshie peed in last year? Dirty licked its floor.
I don’t even need Photoshop to make incriminating photos of Dirty.
Shortly after this photo was taken, he made out with Brenthoven, who said it was just so-so.
Dirty has a signed Danny Irmen jockstrap. He also sleeps with a stuffed Badger named Robbie.
He thinks Brandon Geist is cute. He said he loves the dimples. He’s plotting to kill T in her sleep.
Maid in Manhattan is Dirty’s favorite movie, followed by Beaches.
Dirty puts up his Christmas decorations in September, even before Macy’s.
His signature karaoke song is “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera. He practices in front of the mirror nightly.