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>Going Platinum

31 January 2009

>

Okay, people. I get it. Al is a great goaltender. But, seriously, this is insane. Come on, Al. Do you know who Shaquille O’Neal is? A basketball player. He got a little big for his already giant britches and decided to be in a terrible movie called Kazaam and also put out a rap CD with a title I do not care to know and will not dignify with a Google hit. Both were unnecessary and terrifying.

And now, Al comes out with this.

Al. You are a fabulous goalie. Please do not do this. You do not look hott. We do not want to see you driving around with children in your lap, climbing out of cars wearing miniskirts and no underwear, or being hauled off to the looney bin in an ambulance. Let Zach Jones be the Crazy.

I got a sneak peek at the lyrics. Enjoy!

(Note: if you want a soundtrack with which to karaoke along, or you’re not getting the reference, let YouTube be your savior!)

There’s only two types of people in the world:
The ones who play the game, and the ones who observe
Well baby, I’m a put on a show kind of guy
I am the starter, don’t ride the pine

I’m like the ringleader, I stop the shots
I’m like a firecracker, I make it hot

When I put on a show, I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins,
Spotlight on me and I’m ready to save

I’m like a performer, The ice sheet is my stage
Better be ready, Hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me at the end of the rink
Just like a circus
When I make that save everybody gon’ rave
Just like a circus

Don’t stand there watching me,
Break on me, show me what you can do
Everybody by me, We can make the goal crease

Just like a circus

There’s only two types of players out there:
Ones who try to move on me, and ones who are scared
So baby, I hope that you came prepared
I’ll slash or shove you, so beware

I’m like the ringleader, I stop the shots
I’m like a firecracker, I make it hot

When I put on a show, I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins,
Spotlight on me and I’m ready to save

I’m like a performer, The ice sheet is my stage
Better be ready, Hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me at the end of the rink
Just like a circus
When I make that save everybody gon’ rave
Just like a circus

Don’t stand there watching me,
Break on me, show me what you can do
Everybody by me, We can make the goal crease
Just like a circus

All eyes on me at the end of the rink
Just like a circus
When I make that save everybody gon’ rave
Just like a circus

Don’t stand there watching me,
Break on me, show me what you can do
Everybody by me, We can make the goal crease

Just like a circus

Don’t quit your day job, honey. And don’t give Brady any ideas.

(I know I’m double-posting tonight, but I think tUMD’s fans need some fun to get pumped up for the triumphant comeback that is merely 18 hours away!)

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. 31 January 2009 7:36 pm

    >I am confused…did you do this? It has your awesome MS Paint skillz all over it.

  2. 31 January 2009 7:48 pm

    >No, Dave, this is an album that Al has actually released.I heart you.

  3. 31 January 2009 8:17 pm

    >My GOD what was Al what were thinking!;)

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