Skip to content

>O Captain! My Captain!

19 June 2009


Over the years we have been together, my dear readers, I’ve been many things. Joker, smoker, midnight toker, and now bookie. That’s right, I’m going to handicap the 2009-2010 UMD hockey captaincy for you. No, no need to thank me. I’m here to serve you.

(Other important news: my Jacky and Fuzzy may be drafted! Ee!)

Note: I’m not going to distinguish between captains and assistant captains. Too lazy. Plus, UMD has had tri-captains, one captain and two assistants, and co-captains with no assistants in the past three years.

Drew Akins – 1:1
Drew’s pretty a shoo-in for some sort of leadership role, and I’m pretty sure it would be the C. Drew stands up for his teammates, which sometimes gets him in a little bit of trouble, but at least he doesn’t have rage blackouts like Zach Jones or attack mascots like Joe Finley; he regains control easily. He’s won the heart of MeanEgirl, and a whole slew of creeps at USCHO can attest that is no easy task.

Jordan Fulton – 18:1
Jordy’s a senior, which certainly give him an advantage, but I’m not sure. Rumors swirling that he might bolt for Calgary early have so far been incorrect, but they might affect the locker room’s vote.

Trent Palm – 12:1
Palm’s got more of a chance than Fulton as he is a defenceman, where the team isn’t as deep. Palm could have red-shirted but gutted out the season as best he could, which I’m sure his teammates noticed. He’s got a mean hip check, and I’m about 99% certain his brother dressed up as a gorilla at regionals.

Chase Ryan – 300:1
Well-liked by all of his teammates, not being on the ice and thus unable to fulfill many captain’s duties makes the odds pretty long for Chase.

Rob Bordson – 100:1
Bordo had some ups and downs this past season, so he’ll probably need another year before his chances improve.

Cody Danberg – 30:1
Cody’s a hard worker on the ice, and I think he’s a bit of a dark horse candidate, though we may need to wait til next year for a chance to see a letter on his chest.

Justin Fontaine – 5:1
After rocketing to WCHA stardom as a sophomore, The Fonz may be ready to step up as a leader. After all, he can score like mad on the power play and can start a jukebox without a quarter.

Chad Huttel – 75:1
The Hutt will need to crack the lineup consistently before he can seriously contend for a letter. He’s been known to stand up for his teammates before, so I’m sure he has it in him to lead. Show us what you’re made of this year, Chad!

Mike Montgomery – 50:1
Monty crossed over from foward to defenceman seamlessly, showing he was willing to do what the team needed. If he continues to show the defensive prowess he had last season, he’ll take on a leadership role as a senior. This year? I doubt it.

Kyle Schmidt – 30:1
Smitty so willingly sacrificed his face for the good of the team, and he is also a supergenius. I believe captains should be strong academically as well as athletically, to set a good example for their teammates.

Jack Connolly – 50:1
My Sweet Jacky is already captain of my heart, but I think the team will go to the upperclassmen ranks this year. Junior and senior year, his odds will improve greatly.

Mike Connolly – 45:1
Shocking, I know, that I’d give him better odds than MSJ, but I was asking someone else (someone who knows the guys better than I do, meaning AT ALL) who they thought would be captains and MCON’s name was mentioned.

David Grun – 250:1
Without very many games under his belt, Grun’s got to get more experience at the collegiate level before he can expect a C or an A.

Brady Hjelle – 200:1
Brady will be setting the tone in goal for us, letter or no letter. I doubt he’ll even be a C or A even as a senior, but he’ll certainly be a leader on the team.

Scott Kishel – 180:1
I’m pretty sure Scott will be anchoring a PP unit this year, but I don’t see a formal leadership role for him just yet.

Brady Lamb – 100:1
The odds that Brady will be a captain or assistant for UMD someday? Probably about 2:1. But for now, he gets an edge over Kishel simply due to playing time last year, but he’ll have to wait his turn.

Travis Oleksuk – 100:1
I think it would be great for Oleksuk to be a captain someday! He’s a legacy, after all. Did you know his dad ranks 9th in the NCAA in career power play goals? I just learned that now. T.O. doesn’t need to focus on a captaincy right now. He needs to focus on having a breakout sophomore season.

Kenny Reiter – 275:1
If Hjelle’s odds aren’t that good, and he’s looking to be our starter, then Kenny’s odds can’t be much better. The goalies just need to do their thing and keep each other sharp.

Aggregate odds: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000:1
I guess anything’s possible; it’s the whole premise of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. (Check it, there’s even a sexy Fourier series!!)

No comments yet


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: