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>Dear Drew

19 January 2010

>


It takes a special kind of player to be elected captain of a hockey team. The player has to be a leader on and off the ice, has to be matured enough to speak to the refs, and has to be a bit of a mentor to his teammates. In addition to all that, “Drew” has “agreed” to be a guest columnist on RWD and give advice to his fellow players.

Dear Drew,

I am a hockey player on a team that is supposed to be good in the second half of the season. I have a “friend” who also plays hockey on my team and he is hurt. How can I make him feel better? I already give him foot massages and send him flowers.

-Wario

Dear Wario,

That is very nice of you to be so caring. Please tell me the injury this player has. That will allow me to, uh, be more helpful in my assistance. Also, tell BOTH of your sisters that Big D says hi.

-Drew

———————————————————————————

Dear Drew,

I have a bit of trouble making up my mind sometimes. For example, I had a really hard time making up my mind about the team I wanted to play on. Now I am on a horrible team and I wish I was on the first team I’d picked. Please help!

-Not A Window, But A…

Dear NAW,BA…,

We didn’t want you anyway. SUCK IT.

-Drew

———————————————————————————

Dear Drew,

I think my teammates and fans like my dad more than me. He has a stomach of iron, is writing his memoirs, and is very loquacious. Actually, I think I like my dad better than me. I don’t know if this is actually a problem after all. Sorry to bother you.

-Not Even Going To Bother To Try To Spell My Own Last Name

Dear NEGTBTTTSMOLN,

Stevie V. for President, 2012!

-Drew

———————————————————————————

Dear Drew,

I play for a hockey team with a pretty embarrassing fan base. The most embarrassing person in the fan base is my dad. He played hockey, like, a million years ago and never made it in the pros and now he can’t move on. What should I do?

-Confused from Detroit Lakes

Dear Confused,

Rock out to Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days until he gets the message. Or goes deaf.

-Drew

That’s all we’ve got in the mailbag this week! Stay tuned!

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