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>Postcards from RWD, Vol 12

15 October 2010


Dear Bulldogs,

If you are going to suck, let me know right away please. Give me a sign. Say, getting swept by Providence this weekend. Don’t be confused, I don’t want that to happen, but I don’t need any of the 2004-05 soul-sucking heart-breaking sucker-punching gut-wrenching undefeated through three weekends then completely throw it away with only 3 more wins in the first half and allow a 14-goal differential in the playoffs. No, that was hardly the worst season we’ve ever lived through as a fanbase, in fact we had even fewer wins in subsequent seasons, but we all knew that was coming.

I’m in a sports-related depression right now. The Twins? They managed to keep roping me in with their clutch hits and winning streaks and Thome homeruns and such. Then they clinched the division and became the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. The buzz, pre-season, about the Vikings, perpetuated by one Bruce Ciskie, was they would win the division. They have one win. They got Randy Moss, and I became hopeful again, and then let me down AGAIN Monday night. (Dirty said “And with that nice stop it’s time to send in the clowns.” And then there was clownery.) The Wild have the opportunity to suck in three countries this year, a rare opportunity, and they are seizing the day. But I appreciate their upfront terribleness, because now I have low expectations.

The Bulldogs are the one bright spot for me right now, and I don’t know if they are even a bright spot. Certainly a 1-0-1 weekend is not rotten, and three years ago I would have been pleased, but now we have expectations and talent and a new arena and Hobey candidates.

Here are my bare minimum expectations for a non-sucky season:

1. Home ice for the WCHA first round play-offs.
Just home ice, I feel, is lenient. Like I said, these are bare minimum expectations.

2. A Final Five appearance.
The Final Five, in its new, annoying, format, gives each team only one guaranteed game. Annoying. Under the old format, three teams’s fans had two guaranteed games and two teams’s fans had one guaranteed game. Now six teams’s fans have one guaranteed game. That sucks, especially for people coming from out of town. A fan from Denver, Grand Forks, etc. could take two days off from work and reserve a hotel room for three nights only to find their team loses on Thursday. The Final Five is still a heck of a time, but that would certainly suck some of the fun out of it. This has turned into a rant about the new Final Five, but unlike in years past, when we simply hoped for a top three berth to guarantee two games, now the seeding barely matters, except for #1 and #2 getting a bye. (A bye is nice, no doubt, but one could argue that #1, #2 and #3 got a bye under the old system.) Just get there.

3. An NCAA regional bid.
Anything can happen in the playoffs, as we’ve seen from Holy Cross, RIT, Buttmidji, etc. Just get to the playoffs and we’ll worry about winning later. Winning would make for an AWESOME season and we’re worried about non-suckiness only.

4. At least 1 player on the Hobey Baker top ten list.
It doesn’t really matter who it is. Perhaps Fontaine this year and then Jack Connolly next year, as I’ve mentioned before. Perhaps Jack could put Mike on his shoulders and they could wear a large overcoat and try to pass as one person. Perhaps JT Brown will outscore Paul Kariya and win as a freshman.


Okay, now don’t lose this weekend… AND don’t suck!


2 Comments leave one →
  1. 15 October 2010 2:56 am

    >You may as well cut your expectations down to four because #5 just isn't going to happen.

  2. 15 October 2010 7:16 pm

    >We be out to ruin BSU and UMDs new arena openings :)Did you read Doug Woog's comments over on minnesota hockey journal? I think he is upset that the Gophers are NOT playing BSU or UMD for their new buildings.


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