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Pollgate 2016

1 November 2016

Comrades, last week when I reported on the possible rigging of the men’s D1 college hockey polling, many of you brushed if off as coincidence, stating that perhaps the voters merely overlooked tUMD’s loss to the USA U-18 team.

This afternoon, the NCHC issued an unprecedented statement, breaking protocol to comment on an ongoing investigation. I obtained a copy of this statement, which I have reproduced below in the original:


What does this mean??? This is a vague statement regarding some new “evidence” NCHC brass received, possibly from Russia Wisconsin, about tUMD’s position in the polls. The Bulldogs were revealed as a near-unanimous #1 across both major polls, one week after suspicions were cast that the polls may have been tampered with to obtain a much-hyped #1 vs #2 matchup this past weekend. What is this new evidence that has come to light?

A source, speaking exclusively to this site on condition of anonymity, informed me that the investigation could possibly extend to the egregious officiating in Saturday’s tUMD-UND match-up. The officiating was comically lopsided in favor of tUMD, with the Bulldogs gifted many fortuitous penalties and short-handed advantages.

The Bulldogs were given far too many opportunities to go short-handed and score on the Fighting Hawks. Considering the ineptitude of the Fighting Hawks power play, this can only be interpreted as a concerted effort by the NCHC officials to ensure the Bulldogs won the game and secured the #1 ranking.

So, we have clear evidence that the Crooked NCHC is in cahoots with pollsters to move the Bulldogs up to the #1 spot in the polls. This is the worst corruption since the Teapot-Dome scandal, and yet we have no clear reason as to why the NCHC would have such a vested interest in installing the Bulldogs as the #1 team in the country.

To what end? What would this achieve? For now, we can only speculate. As this story develops, I will make sure to update you all on the situation.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Puck Swami permalink
    1 November 2016 4:54 pm

    Brilliant. As we’ve come to expect from you!


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