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College Hockey to Experiment With New Predetermined Season

11 July 2017

In June, the NCAA Men’s and Women’s Ice Hockey Rules Committee met in Indianapolis to discuss potential rules changes for the upcoming season. Among the topics discussed were: options for overtime, the definition of offsides, and respect. It is only natural that the topics of overtime and offsides would be discussed at the committee meeting, as Actual National Champion* North Dakota was affected significantly by both items. The topic of respect was entered into the minutes by mistake, as the members of the Rules Committee were discussing their night of drunken debauchery on the NCAA’s dime the previous evening, when committee member and Hockey East Association commissioner Joseph D. Bertagna performed Aretha Franklin’s iconic song “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” at an Indianapolis karaoke establishment.

One topic that received unanimous support amongst committee members, coaching staff, and journalists alike, was the opportunity to experiment with a predetermined season outcome.

“So many fans come into the season with anxiety or stress over their team’s chances at a national championship,” said Bill Riga, committee member and associate head coach of Quinnipiac University’s men’s team. “With this proposed format, fans will know coming into the season whether or not their team will win a national championship, and can attend games without worrying if an injury or a defensive mistake will ruin their team’s chances at a title.”

The expenses associated with travel will also be reduced, as teams and fans will be able to book flights in advance.

“I know it will ease my mind and the minds of all of Beaver Nation, to know for sure we won’t need to book last-minute flights to the Frozen Four, or to secure ice time and other logistics for a home play-off game,” said Amber Fryklund, assistant coach for Bemidji State University’s women’s program.

“While in past seasons we were 99.999999% certain we would not host or even play in the NCAA tournament, adding that extra 0.000001% has given us peace of mind,” Ms. Fryklund added.

In accordance with protocol and rules committee tradition, the new format will be used on a trial basis in the 2017-18 season, with Men’s Division I adopting the predetermined season. The committee, with input from neutral sources such as D. Goddard Hockey Consulting, Ltd., industry publication Let’s Go DU, and the nonpartisan think tank Puck Swami Institute, has selected the University of Denver as the first predetermined national champion.

“We looked at a variety of factors, including number of returning players across teams, hyperbolic blog posts and tweets from select media, and [Denver head coach] Jim Montgomery’s ability to come within six when I said I was thinking of a number between one and a hundred,” Mr. Bertagna said. It was reported that the number was 63, and Mr. Montgomery selected 57, for undetermined reasons. Among other coaches asked to come up with a number, 2017 runner-up Minnesota Duluth’s Scott Sandelin selected 2, and Actual National Champion North Dakota head coach Brad Berry stared into the distance picking his nose before finally prompted to respond “Eleventy?”

If this format proves successful, look to see it expand across all divisions of NCAA ice hockey in 2018-19.

*70 years running!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. vizoroo permalink
    11 July 2017 6:20 pm

    If D Goddard Hockey Consulting and the Puck Swami Institute concluded that the DU will be the 2017-18 NCAA Champion, how could any mere mortal disagree?

  2. Puck Swami permalink
    11 July 2017 7:21 pm

    I am honored and humbled to be a part this magnificent piece of journalism and such a wonderful prediction.

    Three cheers for RWD, my favorite non-Denver blogger! Beers are on me at Grandma’s the next time we visit Duluth!

    • 11 July 2017 11:16 pm

      I look forward to your visit! Congratulations on your think tank’s success.

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