>Dislike
>
Does anyone actually like CC?
Their coaches don’t.
Former UMTC assistant coach Mike Guentzel left CC for the USHL after just one undistinguised season under Scott Owens.
Their recruits don’t.
First round draft pick John Moore elected not to come to CC mere weeks before he was slated to show up on campus. Recruit Colton St. Clair also bolted for UND.
Their goalies don’t.
Richard Bachmann split after a less-than-impressive (relative to his freshman year) season, and freshman Hudson Stremmel didn’t want to play second banana to fellow first-year Joe Howe. This gives hope to The Worst WCHA Fantasy Hockey Team Ever, whose only goalie (and first round draft pick!) is Tyler O’Brien.
Their administration doesn’t.
CC players are constantly running afoul of the administration. However, if they didn’t try to have three-ways with underage girls or dress up in blackface, maybe that would not be such a problem.
Their fans don’t.
7 UMD fans outcheered the entire arena last year. I don’t think they have a student fanbase. No one shows up in school colors, and in every crowd shot, everyone looks bored!
Their A/V staff doesn’t.
They would rather broadcast “Floating Tiger Head” when play is underway than show their team.
Their bloggers don’t.
They
Their mascot doesn’t.
There are most likely less than 2000 tigers (of all subspecies!) left in the wild. Stupid horrible awful people poaching them? Or just shame at their CC (and also Detroit) association?
Really, who’s left? Randy May?
>Things That Go Bump in the Night
>
I know! I know! It has been over 24 hours since the game ended, and I have no real excuse for not posting. Other than no one cares.
Clarkson decided that rather than playing hockey, they wanted to play some sort of Ultimate Cagefighting Penalty Fest. UMD is no stranger to numerous penalties. We average just under 23 per game. WHAT. That’s over a period of hockey. Argh. Mostly this is because they get stupid 10 minute misconducts for nothing. Or get CFBs. Hm. Whatever. Just keep winning!
I’m so bummed I wasn’t at this game. There were SO MANY SHENANIGANS and I did not get involved in ANY OF THEM. AND my sweet little Mikey Seidel GOT HIS FIRST GOAL! I think I blew my cat’s eardrums out. The first of many, I’m sure!!
Ok, I’m going to make up for this later in the week. blahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season’s total: 8 (EZAC!)
Points until we reach last season’s total: 22 (EZAC!)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 14! (DIVISION ONE POINTS LEADER!!!!)
Brady Lamb: 3! (Yay!!!)
Mike Seidel: 1! (First goal as a Bulldog!!!)
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 3
Wade Bergman: 1!
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1
Mike Seidel: 1!
(all freshmen now have a point)
Connollys
Jacky: 14!
Mikey: 7!
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 3
Drews
Olson: 6
Akins: 6
On Notice
Dan Delisle
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Mike Montgomery
Goals Only
Cody Danberg
Keegan Flaherty
Jordan Fulton
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson
>The Name Game
>
I love playing these eastern teams because they all have these insane names. What the heck? Let’s examine.
First, we have Corey Pawlick. Better name than Pitlick, but still. If he were a cat it would be good. Then we have the misspelled Louke “Annie” Oakley. Spell words right, people. Maybe it is pronounced Lowk. But that’s still stupid. And another kree8ivvvv speller, Nik (I HATE when the C is missing) Pokulok. Like if “pot luck” and “mukluk” mated. Bryan Rufenach has so many nickname possibilities: Rufio! Ruffies! Rufebega!
Clarkson also has a chick from Finland on their team named Lauri Tuohimaa. Doesn’t Clarkson have a women’s team? Sad!
Tim Marks has a very appropriate name, as he is a marked man after trying to kill Arthur Fonzarelli. Boys, just don’t get kicked out of the game.
The Bulldogs really do love me, because ONCE AGAIN they came through with a birthday win. David Grun was not in the lineup and thus can’t be faulted for not getting a goal for me. My Jacky had 2 goals (though Bruce thinks one should belong to Drew Olson), but was kind enough to NOT get a hat trick when I was not there. I would have been so upset. Also, Jacky, please save any hat tricks for WCHA games so MEg and I can get fantasy points.
B2 was not working well so I don’t have any other specific comments on the game. Be even better tomorrow, dearies!
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season’s total: 8 (NC)
Points until we reach last season’s total: 22 (NC)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 12! (Glorious!)
Brady Lamb: 1
Mike Seidel: 0
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 3!
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1!
Wade Bergman: 0
Mike Seidel: 0
Connollys
Jacky: 12!
Mikey: 6!
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1!
Dylan: 3!
Drews
Olson: 6
Akins: 6
On Notice
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Mike Montgomery
Goals Only
Cody Danberg
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson
>Justin Fontaine To Change Last Name
>
In a move that surprised some and others felt was overdue, Minnesota-Duluth winger Justin Fontaine has decided to change his name to Justin Connolly. Coach Scott Sandelin recently chose to add Mike Connolly to the productive tandem of Fontaine and Jack Connolly, in order to maximize UMD’s offensive firepower. Fontaine’s name change will be the final piece in creating the most dominant line in all of college hockey: the Connolly line.
Fontaine, 21, of Bonnyville, AB, felt in order to gel completely with his linemates, he needed to annex the last name. “I want to do whatever I can to improve my game and help my team. I can’t shrink myself 3 inches or grow a curly fro, but I’m willing to make the change if it means more wins. It’s the least I can do,” Fontaine said in an interview Wednesday.
Fontaine will be adopted by Mark and Judy Connolly of Duluth, parents of Jack Connolly, as well as Boston University forward Chris Connolly. “We are so excited to have Justin as part of our family,” Mrs. Connolly told reporters. “We’ve been looking to add a right wing to our family for some time now, and Justin is the perfect fit.” Mr. Connolly was not reachable for comment, as he was busy rocking out with his band.
When asked if they minded giving their son up for adoption, current parents Denis Fontaine and Donna Dale, reached by phone, seemed to take it as “business as usual.” “It’s just another part of the game, part of being a hockey parent,” Mr. Fontaine stated. “Anything to make his game better,” added Ms. Dale, “but I hope they remember he likes the crusts cut off his sandwiches.”
UMD fans hope to hear beloved public address announcers Howie Leathers proclaiming “Connolly from Connolly and Connolly,” a lot this season. Radio play-by-play man Bruce Ciskie didn’t seem too happy about the change. “It’s confusing enough as it is,” he said via phone. When informed the line would be backed up by defensive tandem Dylan Olsen and Drew Olson, Mr. Ciskie screamed and a series of dull thuds could be heard, ostensibly Mr. Ciskie beating himself with the telephone.
No word on when the adoption process would be finalized, or whether Fontaine would also adopt #32 to match with Jack Connolly’s #12 and Mike Connolly’s #22.
>Not Quite the ‘Toga…
>The Idaho Junior Steelheads hockey team got in trouble last week for playing strip hockey. (Note: this is NOT the same Idaho Steelheads with Matt McKnight!)
I don’t see a problem with it. I’d bring my opera glasses!
>Golden
>
I’ve never been one of those people who passive-aggressively keeps their birthday a secret until 11:59:59 PM and then rages at everyone for forgetting. I have enough things to rage about, thank you. The more people know, the happier the day is! I am already having a great birthday. I got a fabulous email from one of my best friends from college, and a box waiting on the front step when I got home that came from my mom and sounds as though it is broken, and a birthday card from my grandparents addressed to the wrong name, as usual!
The last time I celebrated my birthday with any sort of celebration was… oh, wait, nm, I mean the SECOND TO LAST time, whoops, Grandma’s gettin’ old… ok, it was my 21st, the last I spent in Illinois. It wasn’t a birthday… it was like, a birthCARNIVAL! The Brazilian kind! It lasted for days! I think there was Fighting Illini football (meaning Fighting Illini losing), and DEFINITELY Fighting Illini HOCKEY with pregaming at my favorite bar followed by the game (I had season tickets, which were $40 TOTAL!) and extreme harrassment of the visiting team and then more bar. And then on MY actual birthday… oh, a fluid mechanics test. It was a Monday. Things happen.
But that was the start of Birthday Hockey. Let’s discuss the birthday hockey record!
2003: Illinois 4, Eastern Michigan 2
2004: tUMD 4, Mankato State 1, things happened
2005: tUMD 6, Tech 3, CURRY SCORES 2 GOALS IN 30 SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!!
2006: tUMD 2, DU 1, Garrison gets the GWG in OT!
2007: tUMD 4, DU 0, Sharp and Bordson have goals!
2008: tUMD 5, SCCC 1, Jacky and Sharp have 2 assists each, Drew Akins gets a goal!!!
Guys. We have to talk. Especially you, David Grun. Guys who wear 27 (Peluso, Curry) have gotten goals for me on my birthday. You must carry on the tradition. But a win is most important. I will not be at the game, which is causing me to hyperventilate (I AM NOT GOING TO SEE A GAME LIVE FOR LIKE THREE FRIGGIN WEEKS), so you guys have to help me. Just… play really really well. And take a commanding lead and never let up. BE RELENTLESS. Please do not make me worry about this game. I have enough stress!!! I KNOW you can do this. Look at the awesome record you’ve compiled over the last five years. And some of those teams were, like, TERRIBLE. And they STILL pulled out birthday wins for me.
It’s Tuesday, four weeks into the season, and I’m already begging. Sigh.
>!
>
>Tool Academy
>
(Sorry this was late, I had an exam this afternoon.)
Well, to borrow an eastern term, that was a wicked pissah. I should have known better than to drive to St. Cloud, but I just love seeing my Bulldogs and can’t stay away.
So, the refs were crackerjack as usual, making only correct calls, according to St. Cloud fans. People who do not understand the rules of hockey because their team dives so much they think a check is interference and skating hard for the puck is taboo.
Aaaaaaaand of course, the fans did not disappoint. And by fans, I specifically mean Bruce Raboin, father of Husky captain Garrett Raboin, and also a sad, pathetic man who felt the need to harass tUMD fans both last year and this year by threatening them in front of the police, making obscene gestures, taunting them, and getting in their faces. This man is representing his son and St. Cloud State University (of which he is a guest) in an embarrassing manner. (Similar to how Brad Shepherd embarrassed his father this weekend.) Now, Bruce, I know that you were selected in the 8th round of the 1980 NHL draft by Washington but never made it to the NHL, and that must really burn, but must you really pretend you are still in college? You’re an elementary school teacher at Roosevelt Elementary School in Detroit Lakes. What would the parents of your students say if they saw how you behaved at your son’s hockey games?
Enough about them! Let’s talk about us! We need to have a little huddle here. Justin… honey, I know the other week on the Penalty Box we were talking about fundamentals rather than flashy stuff… but that penalty shot was weak sauce. It would have been a game changer. It would have turned the tide from those shorthanded goals that the power play gave up, and the dumb penalties, and the phantom penalties, and the missed chances. However, it wasn’t the only chance… so really I’m just disappointed that you didn’t have a nifty move to show us!
I’m superstitious about my jerseys, so maybe it was my Curry jersey bringing bad luck. Or maybe it was having the ACTUAL Curry stalker in the building!!! (No, people, I’m not the shoe-stealer/letter-writer Viking chick.) Or maybe they didn’t get the memo that Tuesday is my birthday (I keep forgetting, too) since I didn’t declare it my Birthday Game (meaning now the first Clarkson game is a MUST WIN!) and they weren’t properly motivated. I don’t know. Whatever. Losses happen. Especially at the National Center for the Weak On Their Skates.
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season’s total: 8 (Ugh)
Points until we reach last season’s total: 22 (Uber-ugh)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 10!
Brady Lamb: 1
Mike Seidel: 0
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2 (Sick tonight)
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1 (W000t! Keegs!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0
Connollys
Jacky: 10
Mikey: 5
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2
Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4
On Notice (Uh-oh…)
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson
Goals Only (not so bad)
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen
>Awwwww
>
Hello, who can be mad at the refs when THE CUTEST FREAKING BABY IN THE WHOLE WORLD is decked out in UMD gear!!!! Observe.
Of course, this is not my baby, he is my cousin’s, but OMFGBBQ he is so cute and wearing the Bulldog hoodie I sent him. Never mind that he lives in Rhode Island, I am starting the indoctrination soon. This baby’s first word will be “Sieve” if I have anything to do with it. And his first sentence will be “OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!” if his great-grandfather has anything to do with it.
Obviously this game ended up as the Penalty Pride Parade as we ended up registering 12 penalties. Warranted or not, it killed tUMD. I am really proud of the Dogs for surviving the death march Anderson and Shep2 forced them to walk. The game was not on B2 or TV and I wasn’t there in person, so I can’t comment on who was naughty and who was nice, but I can only hope these are the same old Dogs that are going to come out on Saturday smoking. I’m happy with a Friday night tie, as Friday night wins are hard to come by, and points in the National Hockey Center are about as rare as a St. Cloud State player staying on his skates if an opponent BREATHES near him.
PBHj had an assist tonight!!! And made 41 saves!!!! Brady, you are the only person holding the Team Cougar WCHA Fantasy Hockey Team together right now! Jacky, you are not helping. But I know you will be helping in the next game, so I’m ok.
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season’s total: 8 (But, can’t be swept by SCCC!)
Points until we reach last season’s total: 22! (Keep those road points comin’!)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 9
Brady Lamb: 1!!!! (On the board! Although Bruce thinks the goal should be Smitty’s)
Mike Seidel: 0 (in Duluth)
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2 (Sick tonight)
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1 (W000t! Keegs!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0
Connollys
Jacky: 9
Mikey: 5! (He’s comin’! He’s comin’!)
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2
Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4 (Now has as many points as penalty minutes!)
>Where The Wild Things Were
>
On Saturday night, he came out onto the ice for a game, and he noticed something was strange.
He was playing against HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS!
The HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS tried to hurt Justin! They did all kinds of mean things to him, like check him from behind into the boards, and shove him down to the ice, and ram him into the crossbar.
But Justin remembered that he was really really really good at hockey, and he realized that was all he needed.
He scored two power play goals and conquered the HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS!
He might have even gotten home in time for cake.
Runnin' With the Dogs 