>It’s Friday, I’m In Love
>
Dear Brad Eidsness,
You are not Stalock and never will be.
Love,
RWD
p.s. Thanks for the SHGWG!!!!!
Oh you guys. I am so happy. So incredibly happy. It does not matter that I am going to fail a test in 7 hours. I will still pass the class. I think. Yes. I hope. Maybe. Ee.
I had a thousand and one heart attacks during this game. It matters not. tUMD is going to play for a Broadmoor and they are going to the Little Dance. Hockey is extended for another weekend. I am so happy. I’m just not ready to let my seniors go and they are not ready either.
Again, really can’t recap as I might try to get a few hours of sleep. I am going to post my motivational speech since I will not have the chance tomorrow.
Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that’s what you have here, tonight, boys. That’s what you’ve earned here tonight. One game. If we played ’em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the WCHA. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It’s over. I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Pioneers have. Screw ’em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.
Herb Brooks in Miracle
The Numbers
Playoff wins until we equal last season’s total: +4!
My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 44! (Simply amazing.)
Jack Connolly: 27
Michael Gergen: 16
Rob Bordson: 0
Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 35! (ENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Jack Connolly: 27
Travis Oleksuk: 3
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1 (But was a naughty boy tonight… eek!)
David Grun: 0
On Notice
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Cody Danberg
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Goals Only
Drew Akins
Jay Cascalenda
Evan Oberg
Alex Stalock
>Great Speeches, Vol. 2
>
Winston Churchill
>Nirvana
>tUMD 2, Rodents 1
I am at peace.
tUMD lives to fight another day, and I am guaranteed 2 more games with my seniors. I was NOT ready to say goodbye.
Sadly, as I have an incredible amount of work to finish, I will not be able to recap this glorious triumph for the penalty killers and the outstanding defensive effort by tDogs.
I LOVE the mohawks.
Time to catch some zs!
The Numbers
Playoff wins until we equal last season’s total: +3!
My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 42! (Wooger called him the Most Improved Player in the WCHA)
Jack Connolly: 27
Michael Gergen: 16
Rob Bordson: 0
Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 34
Jack Connolly: 27
Travis Oleksuk: 3
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
David Grun: 0
On Notice
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Cody Danberg
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Goals Only
Drew Akins
Andrew Carroll
Mike Connolly
Evan Oberg
Alex Stalock
>War Cry
>
Or close the goal up with our Bulldog dead.
In off-season there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the Huffer;
Stiffen the laces, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O’erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill’d with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest Bulldogs.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Marinuccis,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call’d fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in Duluth, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry ‘God for RWD, Duluth, and Saint Lessard!’
Shakespeare, Henry V Act III
Go get ’em, Dogs. Obi-Wan Kenobi commands it!
>Final Five Scavenger Hunt!
>
If you are truly insane, you can actually send me your scavenging results. If someone actually does it (other than MEg and me), there may be a prize. Other than the satisfaction of a job well done, I mean.
Here’s the list!
– The Bunny
– Player from a team that is not in the Final Five
– A member of every pep band in attendance
– A couple who are wearing jerseys of rival teams (i.e. UND/UMTC, DU/CC, etc)
– A person with a mohawk (this should be easy!)
– A team’s mascot or another cartoon character (like the Keebler elf)
– The mulleted Sioux fan
– One person wearing a jersey from each of the WCHA teams (I mean several people each wearing different jerseys, not one person wearing several jerseys. Although if you find that, wow.)
– A CHA jersey
– MeanEgirl holding a sign
– A Gopher fan doing a jersey pop
– The guys wearing presidents masks
– Someone in a jersey from a foreign country
– Someone wearing a sombrero
– RWD!
Good luck and happy hunting! See you freaks tomorrow! Or, to be more accurate, later today!
>RWD’s Definitive Guide To The Final Five
>
It’s at the Xcel Energy Center. I hope you are all aware of this. I know it’s the Gopher Invitational, but it’s at Mariucci East, not Mariucci West.
Here is how to get there.Game information
Thursday
tUMD vs. UMTC – 7:07 – $20 lower bowl & club, $15 upper deck
Friday
UW vs. DU – 2:07 – $35 lower bowl & club, $15 upper deck
tUMD(!) vs. UND – 7:07 – $45 lower bowl & club, $15 upper deck
Saturday
UND vs. UW/DU – 2:07 – $20 lower bowl & club, $15 upper deck
tUMD vs. DU/UW – 7:07 – $45 lower bowl & club, $15 upper deck
I wouldn’t park in the Xcel ramp. It’s just not necessary. Neither is parking in the Science Museum ramp. The people who work there can’t count and they may end up sending you in when they are actually full. Pretty much anywhere will gouge you on parking. I located
this helpful map of where you can and can’t find such gougers. Fortunately stupid St. Patrick’s Day is about an hour away from ending, so it will NOT be during the Final Five and stupid parade-attenders will not be taking up valuable parking spots.The Gopher Puke Live tailgate will be in the parking lot behind the Dairy Queen.
On Thursday, tUMD fans will be gathering at
Patrick McGovern’s. UPSTAIRS. Other than that, you’re on your own. Alary’s has a shuttle they run to their bar, if you like chicks in hotpants (who doesn’t!!), cops, and the Chicago Bears. I would recommend running to catch the shuttle BEFORE it makes it to the X, as they will pack as many people into it as they can. I’ve never been to Tom Reid’s but I don’t feel any reason to go. I think lots of Gopher fans go there.Suggested drinks:
Windsor & Diet Coke/Pepsi/RC
Jag Bombs
Beer
There are always lots of free things at the Final Five. I have gotten a foam puck keychain, Thunderstixxxx, foam hockey sticks, a poster that referred to UND as NDSU and made a bunch of Sioux fans crap themselves in unison, and once I would have won a t-shirt but I wasn’t in my seat when they shot it out of the t-shirt cannon. My dad also took this weird cloth backpack thing that was only supposed to be for kids. Some of these free things are for everyone, and when you get back to your seat for the championship game, you find a surprise! Like Christmas morning! There are also a few contests/row giveaways. Red Baron pizza always has a giveaway, as does Tony the Tiger, and the Keebler Elf (the real one, not Benny Royer) likes to “toss his cookies” as well.
The main contest is DanceMania. It is between periods and goes all weekend. You will not win DanceMania on Thursday night. Thursday is the night you establish yourselves for the camera. Friday you keep it going, and then Saturday night you bring it on home. A costume is almost necessary, although last year this middle-aged lady won. Past winners include SpongeBob SquarePants, the bunny, and the bunny dressed as something else.
If you need any further assistance, please come to the RWD Base Camp at the top of Section 116, or look for me on the jumbotron.
>I Think I Can
>
I stated on USCHO that attending the Final Five without tUMD was like celebrating Christmas with someone else’s family. It’s fun, but just not the same.
I don’t know if you all aware of this, but UMD was never losing in this game, and once they scored, they never allowed CC to tie it up. You would not know that UMD played well. According to the media in Colorado Springs, a team of hobos and vagrants could have shown up and beat CC. But, enough about Bemidji State. Patesy was left back in Duluth to write his recap at the mercy of B2 and the evil Floating Tiger Head. Thankfully, FTH was MUCH less prominent than he was last year, and he didn’t really block the action.
Power play dominance continued, as UMD struck early after Stalock started the play up the ice (gaining his FIRST ASSIST ALL YEAR, and getting him Off Notice for the first time. Seriously, Al. If you are going to scare the crap out of me by leaving the net, I expect more points. And also, I expect goals!) and Travis Oleksuk got the puck to MY SWEET JACKY who FINALLY GOT A GOAL. This is it, people. The floodgates have opened. I predict Jacky will set a WCHA Final Five record in goals scored this weekend. Captain Kangaroo and Peppermint Patty (who will come into the game once Kangy commits seppukku on his hockey stick) will have whiplash from watching Jacky put pucks in the net. I’m very excited about Mr. Oleksuk, too. Brucie said last night that the coaching staff was very smart in holding him out of so many games, as he has really infused some energy into our lineup just when we need it. Those 3 guys were the stars of the game according to College Hockey Stats.
The second goal occurred on the power play as well, with senior Nick Kemp putting one in thanks to the MSJ-T.O. Express. The CC players did not like that, and instead tried to kill him. Some giant jerk smashed Nick’s face into the glass and no penalty ensued. Nicky ended up missing the 2nd period and returned in the 3rd only to have some CC butthead go right after him again.
CC played ultra-sketchy in this game, I should point out. Now, tUMD are no angels (and I would not expect it! This is hockey, not ballet! Although ballerinas are very cutthroat.) but CC was being ridiculous. They were elbowing like crazy brides at a wedding sample sale, but they also went down faster than a mobster wearing cement shoes in the East River. How can they be tough sissies? It does not compute. For example, after Nicky got elbowed, My Sweet Jacky got called for holding. It was a very horsecrap call, although not as horsecrap as the one he took in the second for interference. I did not know a puck carrier could be called for interference. I think I missed that page. I suppose the referees are not used to seeing players, um, trying. I just looked at the stats and we came out only one penalty ahead. I was surprised to see that, but it is so.
The whole time it was 2-1, I was stressing big time. Gergzilla must have sensed that, because he jumped in on the Fuzzy-Sharpie line while Little Nicky was being poked and prodded to make sure he was good to go, he decided he’d better make the most of it and made Richie Rich look like an idiot. Obi-wan and Sharpie had assists. And like that it was 3-1 and it relieved a little of my stress.
I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so excited you guys are in the Final Five. Thank you for playing 120 minutes of BULLDOG HOCKEY this weekend and showing everyone what I already knew: you guys are awesome! SEE YOU THURSDAY!!! (Well, I will see you. If you see me it’s probably a bad thing as it most likely means I am humiliating myself in public. Again.)
Screw Kangas. Stalock for Defensive Player of the Week! And get well soon Nicky, Jordy, Trent Palm, and anyone else who is playing through an injury!
>Teaser
>
I have to defer my real post until tomorrow, as I am too sleepy to give it the effort my darlings deserve. But the Numbers are so awesome, I’ll post them now!!!
Take THAT, Bulldog haters, negative Nellies, whiners, Sandelin axers, and all-around grumps!
The Numbers
Playoff wins until we equal last season’s total: +2!
My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 41! (Just contributing to his all-time My Guy record!!!)
Jack Connolly: 27! (Eeeeeeeeee! My Sweet Jacky is gonna go on a tear!!!)
Michael Gergen: 16! (YEAH GERGY!!! WHAT AN AWESOME GOAL!!!)
Rob Bordson: 0
Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 34
Jack Connolly: 27!
Travis Oleksuk: 3! (Have I told you lately that I love you???)
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
David Grun: 0
On Notice
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Goals Only
Drew Akins
Andrew Carroll
Mike Montgomery
Evan Oberg
Alex Stalock
>Friday XIII
>
Fast forward to 2009. Again, it’s late winter, and the CC players are spreading mono just as though no time had passed. But unbeknownst to those players, they are about to pay for the negligence of the players from long ago.
The young boy that appeared to drown in the lake? He’s still alive, fully grown, and is seeking revenge against CC. He has donned a goalie mask and he’s got a thirst for blood. His name is Alex Stalock.
The CC Tigers begin what they think is a normal playoff game against the UMD Bulldogs, a team not even in the WCHA back in 1957, a team that struggled the past few weekends against lesser foes, and who appear little threat to the Tigers.
It’s no ordinary game. Though it begins slow, the CC players start to notice things aren’t quite right. Forward Cody Lampl leaves the game early for a major penalty, and mysteriously disappears. No one can find him, and the Tigers start to worry a bit. Then UMD’s Drew Akins takes a slashing penalty, and the Tigers think they’re going to mount an offensive assault.
CC’s power play unit has no idea what hits them. They pepper the net with shots and yet nothing can break the impenetrable wall. Behind the mask, they hear a voice snarling “You left me to die!!!!”
In the locker room between periods, the Tigers are confused, and one of them brings it up to the coach. As he listens to the story, he visibly pales. “I… I… I thought he was dead!” he stammers.
“You thought who was dead?” Chad Rau asks.
“S-s-s-s-stalock!” And rather than strategize how the Tigers might defeat this monsters, he spends the rest of the intermission telling the story of how the 1958 CC Tigers were killed by a murdering lunatic whose son had drowned the previous summer. “Only one player survived, and he thought it was a dream. But now I know… it’s no dream.”
The Tigers are so terrified they go into the second period unable to go anywhere near Stalock, allowing Jack Connolly to send Jordan Fulton into their defensive zone to score without hindrance. The team finally musters the strength when they see that the Bulldogs have left Stalock with only 3 players to defend him, but the tenacity of the Bulldogs is unmatched by their opponents. Eric “Traitor” Walsky finally musters the courage to go directly for Stalock, but he’s so terrified by Stalock’s blocker, which appears to be stained with blood, that he quickly shoots and runs away. The puck ends up in the net, but only due to an unfortunate deflection from a Bulldog skate.
In the third period, the Tigers try once more to muster their courage and defeat the rampaging goalie, who sends Steven Schultz to the penalty box barely alive after he interfered with Stalock, and Stalock strikes his final blow, a post-to-post save on Scott McCulloch that dooms the entire Tiger team to the same fate as the 51 teams before them that have had to pay for the sins of the 1957 squad.
Meanwhile, in a pawn shop nearby, some hockey players are thinking of trying to play another game against the Bulldogs. Behind the counter, Crazy Randy tries to warn them of the danger awaiting…
>Negative
>
Well. This game was certainly everything that last Saturday’s wasn’t. I hope all the haters out there just continue to complain, as tUMD was FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS tonight.
I’ve got nothing but love for you guys tonight! No, really. No recap or anything. Just love.
The Numbers
Playoff wins until we equal last season’s total: SUCCESS!
My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 40! (20/20!)
Jack Connolly: 25! (Justin May creepily said he has “special hands!”)
Michael Gergen: 15
Rob Bordson: 0
Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 34!
Jack Connolly: 25!
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
Travis Oleksuk: 1 (Justin May made a call! You’re going to get a goal!)
David Grun: 0
On Notice
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Nick Kemp
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock
Goals Only
Drew Akins
Andrew Carroll
Jack Connolly
Michael Gergen
Mike Montgomery
Evan Oberg
Runnin' With the Dogs 