>Northern. Naturally.
>Did you know that is the slogan on the Northern Michigan website? Well, no, you probably didn’t. But now you do.
I would like to point out that the Bulldogs are also naturally northern, however, Marquette is beating Duluth in Northern-osity by about a quarter of a degree of latitude. (Marquette is at 46.543 degrees and Duluth is at 46.79 degrees) So, okay, I’ll concede that. Not very important to the hockey, but still worth pointing out.
Now on to the hockey. I’m sorry, I just don’t know much about the Wildcats. I have seen them play before, in previous WCHA Final Fours, but that was a long time ago. It was in the St. Paul Civic Center, for crying out loud. I think a little compare and contrast is in order.
Let’s look at the results so far. Wildcats in green, ‘Dogs in maroon. In case you’re colorblind… just guess.
Record: 6-4-2 2-5-3
Conference Standing: 4-way tie for 4th All alone at the bottom
Against Canadian Universities: 5-2 win 8-1 awesomeness
Against UW-Madison: loss, tie tie, loss
Against Michigan Tech: 2 goals (1 loss, 1 win) 1 goal (1 tie, 1 loss)
Scoring Leader: Mike Santorelli (17 pts) Matt Niskanen (10 pts)
Power Play: 11.1% 22.4%
Penalty Kill: 87.0% 80.7% (seriously??? Whoa.)
Okay, this is a must win. Seriously. We are off this weekend, this is a non-conference game, we have got to still play strong. I know it’s going to be hard, but if we have to stitch some people’s arms back on and shoot them up with morphine for the pain, we’ve gotta do it. WE NEED TO PUT SOME WINS ON THE BOARD. OKAY? PLEASE?
I’m going to the Northern-UMD game in Duluth with a friend, but I’m going to be missing this one. I’ll be sitting at home listening, of course, but it’s just not the same. Please, a 4-2 win would be nice. Mike Curry needs to find his Michigan Magic. Michael Gergen needs to get his breezers in gear. Andrew Carroll needs to step up and lead, like his teammates believed he could do. And some freshman, I don’t care who, needs to make a statement so we know what they’re about.
C’mon ‘Dogs… it’s all about North Country Pride.
>Timing Is Everything
>I just found a Northern Michigan blog.
>If You Take Only 2 Shots On Goal…
>…you will not mount a comeback in the third period. Seriously, we are starting to play like the worst team in the league. Tech was a beatable opponent. They are better than they have been (and seriously, I want to see them do well, so people will stop acting like they don’t belong in the WCHA), but we shouldn’t be as bad as we were.
Let’s take this Northern Michigan game and work out our scoring frustrations. Please.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 22
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4 (I just changed my desktop background to a sweet pic of him from last weekend)
Jason Garrison: 2 (Not playing!)
Matt McKnight: 2 (Injured, so sad)
Mike Curry: 0 (but definitely rocked a Techie in the 3rd)
Freshmen Competition: (the good news!)
Fulton: 6
Akins: 2!!!!!
Gorsalitz: 1!!!!!
M. Ryan: 1!!!!!
Stalock: 1
others: 0
Superb job, freshmen, in stepping it up where the others would not.
RWD out.
>0
>Unfortunately… we got shut out.
Fortunately… so did Tech.
But, um, yeah. 65 minutes of scoreless hockey may make Jacques Lemaire excited, but I don’t think anyone else was excited. And 16 shots on goal??? CRASH THE NET!!!
We would have been taken out like the trash against a better team.
THANK YOU Alex Stalock for being “perfect” tonight.
ALSO Jeff McFarland, you are awesome. I am sorry that you got your goal waved off. I know you were opening the scoring floodgates, but then got screwed. You rock. And I know you’ll get one tomorrow because I TOTALLY CALLED IT.
RWD would also like to give a shout out to The Beard, Anonymous Source Extraordinaire. But I would also like to mention to him that if he expects to find any love for the Gophers here (other than RWD Random Fave Blake Wheeler), he will be disappointed. Goes with the territory.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 22
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10
My “Guys” Competition: (no need to update)
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2 (Injured!!! Not good!!!)
Mike Curry: 0
Freshmen Competition: (also no need to update)
Fulton: 6
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0
>Falling Down On The Job
>Well, in my haste to make my new The Gauntlet feature fabulous, I’ve forgotten one of the other regular features on this here site, and that’s the weekly preview. Because, you know, I want my obligatory link from That Really Successful Blog, written by the Blogger Hottie of the Year 2006.
This weekend we’re going to Michigan Tech. That means a lot of things:
1. This is a must-win series.
2. We need to start scoring more than 2 goals a game.
3. Mike Curry will rock your face off.
4. Games start at 6:00 PM RST (Runninwiththedogs Standard Time)
5. MEg will drink Ciskie under the table.
6. Bonus hockey on Wednesday, with the Turn Back The Clock series against NMU.
We’ve had a tough few weeks, but we’ve played some tough teams. This is a chance for us to see what we’re made of against a team that hasn’t actually won one of the last 5 national championships (whee!) It’s time to throw some points on the board, ‘Dogs, and get on a roll.
>The Gauntlet: Nerd Edition
>Oh yes, that’s right. We’re going to Michigan Tech this weekend, and if you go to Michigan Tech, you’re a nerd by definition. This is okay for me to say, as I am a nerd as well.
RWD sent the message out early.
RWD: when are you going to accept my challenge? :::slaps MEg with a glove:::: I DEMAND SATISFACTION
But the interview didn’t start until later.
RWD: Let’s begin with what’s on the front page of all the scandal sheets: your love affair with Casey Borer. How did this come about?
MEg: When St. Cloud came to Houghton last season one of the [MTU] Huskies got a breakaway. Everyone knew it was going to go in, including Captain Borer himself. He got himself “tangled up” away from play with one of the [MTU] Huskies and oops! Off goes his helmet, in goes the puck past Bobby. I had a feeling that we wouldn’t get to keep that one. The captains skated over to the box, waiting for a decision on the goal. While they were standing there, I was so angry and I was screaming at Casey as loud as I could. Finally, he looked at me as I’m yelling at him and my face is getting all red. He watches me for a bit, then he winks at me. I instantly shut up. The ref came out of the box and called off the goal. The fans were angry, but I just stood there like, “He winked at me!” … That was when I decided that this guy could be a lot of fun. Tomorrow’s game, I would make a sign for him… something along the lines of “BORER WANTS ME.” Sweet justice was served in that game, as we won in OT. The next night, I did exactly as I had planned. He saw [the sign] and smiled, shaking his head. During warm ups, I went to stand behind their net. He smiled everytime he skated by. He even blew me a kiss. I prayed and prayed that he’d get into the box. [The penalty box, sickos!] Finally, at 6:00 into the second period, my dreams came true. He skated slowly to the penalty box, and I was right beside it the whole time, holding my sign with the biggest grin ever. Once he sat down… it started.
The following is a dialogue between MEg and Casey Borer.
Me: Casey, I think you and I shared a moment over there.
Casey (as he’s looking and smiling at me): No, I don’t think we did.
Me: Casey, I think you and I have a future together!
Casey (still looking and smiling at me): No, I don’t think we do.
Me: Casey! I think I LOVE YOU! I need to know… do you feel the same way about me?!
Casey (no longer looking, no longer smiling): Nope!
End dialogue.
MEg: And it went on and on for all two minutes of his penalty. When his penalty was over, I guarantee he was the HAPPIEST guy in the MacInnes. Tech lost that game 0-7, but it was the most fun I’ve ever had at a hockey game. Part 2 of the Casey Borer saga continued later that season in St. Cloud. I brought the sign with me, plus a new one for his girlfriend, which read, “CARLY, I’M STEALING YOUR MAN!” The third and final part of this saga will be on 1-2 December this year.
RWD: Wow. That’s a whole new direction The Gauntlet could take. Actual players. But he’s not even attractive… does he just have a certain je ne sais quoi?
MEg: I think he’s pretty cute. Maybe his pictures don’t do him justice. But he is definitely cute. However, cuteness has nothing to do with it, as my victim of Minnesota was Phil Kessel. It’s just whoever gives me the attention. [Well now, that’s just sad.]
RWD: I see. So we have a little self-esteem issue going on? You should wait for someone who values you as a person.
MEg: I think Casey does.
RWD: Well, I’m not a therapist. [translation: You are deluded, but I’m not going to pursue the matter.]
MEg: That’s a good thing.
RWD: Whoa, whoa. Only I can make smart remarks. So was the Casey Borer Affair just a way to make Dirty jealous?
MEg: Yes, but don’t tell anyone. Especially Dirty. He thinks I’m just doing it to be funny.
RWD: Don’t worry. I will not tell anyone. And what about Eli? How does he fit into this sordid game?
MEg: Eli is an awesome guy with an awesome last name. My Eli craze is mostly because I’m one of 5 people who know how to pronounce his last name correctly. I could even do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. [Whatever flaps your chaps, doll.]
RWD: How do you think Bruce Ciskie will do with that?
MEg: If he’s nice to me, I’ll help him before the game on Friday and teach him how to say it. But I think Ciskie’s going to do like every other non-Tech radio announcer: SLAUGHTER it. Unless I save him, of course.
RWD: And in general, what is your opinion of Bruce Ciskie?
MEg: He’s a big wuss. I’m pretty sure my mom could beat him up.
RWD: I see. Do you have a grudge against Bruce?
MEg: A little bit of one, yes. I was angry with him for wussing out the last time he came to Houghton. I told him to go to the bar with me afterward, then he started whining about being too tired. I’m not going to let him get away with it this year, and he’s fully aware.
RWD: Bruce is not as young as he once was.
MEg: I also believe he was responsible for sending his crew down at the DECC last January to make me the “Fan in the Stands,” to get back at me for those signs I made for him. [The signs said “My mom can beat up Bruce Ciskie.]
RWD: Didn’t you get free stuff for being a Fan In The Stands?
MEg: If you count humilation free, yes. Otherwise, no. Was I supposed to?! I think I got screwed!
RWD: Yeah I thought you got a gift certificate for pizza. [Or possibly skate sharpening at Stewart’s Bikes and Sports, 1502 E. Superior St. in Duluth.]
MEg: No! I didn’t get anything! I’m gonna make Ciskie buy me a pizza when he comes to town this weekend. Ciskie, if you’re reading this: Friday night at the Ambassador. And he thought he was going to get away with it!
RWD: So sneaky! :::consults notes::: okay, mocked MEg, took shots at Ciskie… How did you become a Tech fan in the first place? It’s not like you are old enough to remember the “glory days.”
MEg: I came here knowing that I would have to go to the hockey games. I’d never been to one in my life. The first games I saw my freshman year were against NMU. The first one there, we lost in OT due to being on the wrong side of a 5-on-3. But the atmosphere, the game itself.. all so awesome. The next game is why I am who I am today. It’s why I’m president of the Misfits. It’s why I go on lots of road trips. It’s why I post on USCHO. It’s why I write for the THB. [I think she means the Tech Hockey Blog.] It’s why I’m being embarrassed in this interview right now. [Well, That was the amazing comeback game where Tech was down by 3 goals with 2:30 left in the game and we came back and won it in OT. Most AMAZING feeling I’ve ever had.
RWD: Lovely. So you were banned from tPenalty Box message board… what for?
MEg: I think it was an error on their part. Luckily I’m a very forgiving person. And if it wasn’t that, it was likely because I went off on them because of the disrespect they showed during the Star Spangled Banner, which doesn’t ever sit well with me. I think I was banned after two posts though, which if I’m not mistaken, is a record there.
RWD: Wow. So, what are we going to see this weekend?
MEg: Michigan Tech Huskies and the Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs battling it out for four conference posts. I can’t give you much more past that. I can guarantee you that Mitch’s Misfits will be rocking the place, which is never a good thing for the opposition. Hopefully you’ll be seeing some solid Tech goaltending and very few shots on goal for your team. It’s really great to see that we have good defense this year, which is a new concept to me. And who knows which Husky lines will score? They’ve all been producing. It’s very special to have a team of players who all work together and the talent is spread throughout. Much different from what I’m used to, where 1-3 players are the team.
RWD: Is your team ready for the offensive machine that is Mike Curry?
MEg: Yup. They’re going to shut him down this weekend. Minus maybe 1-5 points that he may get.
RWD: And all within about a minute of each other.
MEg: If he only scores one goal, how can it be within a minute of itself?
RWD: More like 5. Or perhaps some points will be assists, to McFarland or Gorsalitz. [You heard it here first, people. McFarland’s getting a goal this weekend!]
MEg: Nope.
RWD: You said 1-5 points yourself.
MEg: I was leaning toward one.
RWD: You’ll be kicking yourself when it’s 5.
MEg: So if it comes to be 5, I’m gonna have to hope for 6.
RWD: 6? I don’t know if he has THAT many points in him… Oh, you were speaking of your own team.
MEg: No, actually I wasn’t.
RWD: Well I guess you have to be realistic. [Please, tack on more! Why not 7 or 8?] Unlike certain fans from last weekend who predicted the ‘Dogs would be blown out.
MEg: Stupid Adam. I was really pulling for you guys
RWD: I hope you filled in the mad libs with some good words.
MEg: Oh, I did.
RWD: Superb. How do you feel about the rest of the WCHA? Any teams you hate?
MEg: I’ve got a ridiculous amount of like for the rest of the WCHA. [She really said that. A ridiculous amount of like. My head is still spinning.] Anchorage is definitely my second favorite team. As a fan of a team that hasn’t been doing so great in recent years, I know how they feel when they pull of a big win… or a win, period. My apologies in advance to DG and my favorite DU fans, but I have a softspot for CC. The colors, 1957, and such a small school for a DI hockey program. I think Tech relates to them a lot. As far as teams I hate… it’s actually kind of hard when I have so many friends that are fans of the WCHA schools. Sometimes when I become good friends with other fans, their team doesn’t bother me as much. UND is a perfect example of that. I really used to hate them (due largely to Greene, Blais, Bochenski, and Parise). I’m over all of that now. I also didn’t used to like Mankato for one reason or another. But I’ve recently become good friends with one of their zamboni drivers. I’m pretty much alright with any WCHA team unless Tech is playing them that night. Though if I had to pick one team that I disliked the most… Gophers. (Probably more info than you wanted.)
RWD: This is an interview, not a memoir… So who’s your favorite Husky right now?
MEg: Toss up between three: Mike Batovanja, Eli Vlaisavljevich, and Kevin Hachey.
RWD: And your favorite guy to ever put on the Husky uniform?
MEg: Gotta go with Conner. Pittis is a close second. Short people making noise on the ice is awesome.
RWD: I agree. My all-time fave is also very short.
MEg: I’m also really going to miss John Scott. He showed the greatest appreciation of all the Husky Hockey players to the fans, and especially the Misfits. He will be (and is) missed in the MacInnes.
RWD: And on the streets of Houghton.
MEg: Well, maybe not there.
RWD: Excellent. Prediction for this weekend?
MEg: I hate doing predictions because 1. I’m always wrong and 2. I hate being wrong. I’m just going to say split. UMD normally does really well in our building, but I don’t want to let them get away with more than 2 points this weekend.
RWD: All right. So following that prediction, UMD will sweep.
As a post-script, I’d like to point out that MeanEgirl had a very real but very groundless fear of this interview. She was afraid it wouldn’t be funny. Keep in mind, if it isn’t, it’s not my fault. Remember the policy I laid out in my interview with DG.
>Dog Libs
>A few days ago, I got a comment on this site that I nearly missed, but I thought it was good enough to share with the rest of you:
“I wrote a long comment and must have hit the wrong thing. Last thing I said was NO BAD WORDS after this weeks deal with the Guffers.” That was from none other than Gramps, RWD correspondent for the Southeastern United States, and also real life grandfather of me.
Okay then. No bad words. So what we see here is that the only times it is appropriate to use bad words are:
1. When hunting for wild animals.
2. When the motor on your car/boat/jumbo jet is not working.
3. When someone accidentally sets off a fire extinguisher in your car.
I can work with that. But this weekend’s been tough. I know everyone out there wants to use a few “magic words” after the Friday night fun. Fun is not actually the word I was looking for there, but I can’t use that one, I guess. So, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll write about the Friday hijinx, and leave some words out. You can fill in your own. It’ll be fun, like mad libs! A game! Whee!!!
Friday night the UMD Bulldogs faced off against the (adjective) UMTC Gophers. The officiating in the game was (adjective), lead by referee Don Adam, who was (gerund) his (noun) instead of doing his job. Adam called a (adjective) check-from-behind major on Bulldog superstar Mason Raymond when the ‘Dogs were already down a man. Then the ‘Dogs managed to kill the first penalty, and score shorthanded. However, Don Adam, being such a (noun), decided to review the goal. After (number) minutes of (gerund), he decided to disallow the goal AND assess a too many men on the ice penalty, since his ARs had their (plural noun) up their (plural noun). I guess everyone in the WCHA just wants to (verb) Lucia’s (noun). (Adjective)! Later in the game, with 5 minutes to go, Adam calls a check-from-behind major on Alex Goligoski, (who, by the way, isn’t fit to (verb) Raymond’s (noun)). The ‘Dogs were buzzing, but with 12 seconds left, (adjective) captain Mike Vanelli decided to be a (noun) and knock the net loose on purpose. Adam, being the (noun) that he is, instead of awarding a penalty shot, took the faceoff OUT OF THE ZONE. (Verb) that (noun).
Okay, my job’s done. Your turn!
*FYI, St. Cloud fans: A gerund is an “ing” verb.
>Focusing On The Positives
>…because that’s what we do here. We’re here to help, not hinder.
I can’t say enough about Bryan McGregor. I am love, love, loving him this year. If he kept it up and had a monster Junior Lessard year, I wouldn’t be opposed in the least. (We had a moment of reflection at my table at Senser’s last night, as we all loved Junior. Who doesn’t love Junior?) It seemed like McGregor was on the ice about 57 of the 65 minutes of the game, and he was crashing the net about half that time. My new friend, a Sioux fan who happens to be dating a prominent member of the media and a huge Gopher fan (a match made in heaven, no doubt), was very excited about Bryan as well. “Number 42! That’s the guy who was denied last night!” she yelled. (On the shorthanded goal/too many men penalty ghetto debacle, she meant. Since he scored later, of course.) So, clearly, everyone is noticing Mr. McGregor.
So we lost. Got swept. Whatevs. We played hard, we didn’t get embarrassed. No blow-outs. I don’t know how much of the Gopher fan talk was just homer b.s. and how much was what they really believed, but they seemed to think the ‘Dogs should just forfeit because we would be lucky to score, lucky to get away 10-0, etc. etc. Well, what really happened is, they were lucky to win. The ‘Dogs could have just as easily won, if not for a few pipes, some horse-[feces] officiating, and a Gopher captain willing to win at any cost, if you know what I’m saying.
So, moving right along…
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 0 (Tech is up next, so you know what that means… Mike’s gonna bring his guns to town.)
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 6
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0
>It’s Not Fair!
>Seriously. How am I supposed to post when a.) I didn’t watch the game and b.) I’m half in the bag?
And what a game to miss! Evidently there is much controversy. I guess it’s better I DIDN’T watch.
I can’t even imagine what is going on at the RWD Deer Camp up in Canyon, MN. OMG you don’t even know, people. Hockey rage is hereditary. And THEY are all the way in the bag.
I can’t… I just don’t even know what to say here. Luckily, the Alleged Webmaster took notes for me. You know INCH’s Found On A Cocktail Napkin? This is Found On The Back Of An Envelope:
MuSin RaYmin hock frim Bmita – Bud Call
Macgregon Sh gcul Breakaway to he
Assist Niskanen
Screwed!
Macgregor
A: Fulton
Bad – PS Perkunfmasn Stalock
sov-s
5-mpnn pp. for UND – Check From
Behind
PP G: Gergen
A McKnight, Fulton
Kanelli
Gopher hocks
vet offun purpuse
n/R sec
Umm… I guess that sums it up???
Anyway, I’ll do the numbers I guess.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 9
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 0 (Again, NO PENALTIES! Mike is on a streak!)
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 5 (w00t!)
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0
Tomorrow I will be watching the game at Joe Senser’s in Bloomington. If I survive yet another long day on my feet.
Also, Faux Bobby Goepfert sucks and needs to stop spreading Gopher propaganda on my MySpace page.
>The Gauntlet: Public Servant Edition
>
This week, RWD interviews the notorious Fire Helmet Guy, a Gopher Fan Extraordinaire, Real Life Fireman, and Duluth Bar Scene Superstar.
RWD: So, what’s with the nickname?
FHG: Well, anyone who has been to a Gopher game knows. I wear a fire helmet painted maroon and gold. The helmet was kind of a rookie prank when I became a regular on the fire department. So I painted it up for Gopher games. Actually, if you scrape off the maroon and gold it’s PINK underneath. LONG STORY. [ed. note: I disagree. It’s probably a short story he doesn’t want to tell.]
RWD: How did you become a Gopher fan?
FHG: Typical response, just grew up watching them. Did not actually go to my first Gopher game at Mariucci til I was about 21! But I was always a fan.
RWD: Interesting. So, I hear you are a closet UMD fan… how did that start? [I had this wonderful setup for this question and it didn’t work, so this interview isn’t actually as funny as it should have been.]
FHG: Well I do own a UMD Penalty Box shirt and one of the Boston Bar Tour shirts they had the year they went to the Frozen 4. It’s just a little inside joke with some of the UMD people and some of my Gopher buddies. When you know guys like the Penalty Box guys you don’t mind seeing the Bulldogs win… unless they are playing the Gophers! [Note: some penalty box members are actually not guys, I hear.]
RWD: And you have quite the love affair with the city of Duluth… what’s your favorite place there?
FHG: Oh yeah, I love it up there. My favorite place would be, well let’s think here, it’s a tough one… The Sports Garden.
RWD: I never would have guessed. If you were to sum up the Sports Garden in one word, what would it be?
FHG: Drunkenstupidityatitsbest.
RWD: Not… EPIC????
FHG: Oh crap….mind block. That would work too. [I left this in, even though the joke didn’t work. Yet another dud. Funny how I didn’t have any last week…]
RWD: Okay, so you told me in the email this is your first interview. Does that mean Fox 9 has not gotten to you yet?
FHG: Not yet. But I could probably tell them some stories about hockey players at bars… but I’ll leave it at that. Don’t want to see any of the squad get in trouble. I think it was this same week last year when it started to boil over about the whole deal.
RWD: I will be turning over the transcript of this interview to the Investigative Team. So look out.
FHG: Crap. I’ll be a marked man at Mariucci now. And now Bulldog fans will probably be buying me beers this weekend.
RWD: Yeah, that’s no good, it’s not like you blend into the crowd. But back to the Fox 9 question, what do you think really went wrong last year?
FHG: As far as what, the end of the season?
RWD: Yeah.
FHG: I honestly don’t know. As most people have heard before, hockey is a funny game. I guess they may have peaked too early, just lost the heart at the end there. It’s too bad too, you hate to see the team they had go out that way. But we’ve gotten over it… which is more then I can say for Sioux fans! lol
RWD: I personally own a Holy Cross game-worn jersey from the regional game, so it’s not just Sioux fans…
FHG: WOW! OUCH.
RWD: It smells slightly of Gopher defeat.
FHG: Gopher defeat… I was thinking more along the lines of mustard gas… seeing it was at the Ralph.
RWD: Ooh, zing! I was at the 3rd place Final Five game and I couldn’t believe it was the same team from the previous night. Do you think it was just fatigue?
FHG: I think that had to play a big factor in it. I mean to come from behind like that and then to lose a tough one in overtime I think it had to be somewhat of a factor. Even with the loss though, it was still a fun game to be at. The atmosphere was magical that night. [And there was a happy ending.]
RWD: No kidding. It was nuts. There were a lot of Gopher fans (clearly not you) cheering for St. Cloud over tUMD that Thursday. I bet they wish tUMD had won…
FHG: I don’t know. As most WCHA fans know, any team can win on any given night. That’s what makes the WCHA league so fun to cheer for. I guess I really hadn’t noticed, I was hoping to see UMD win that one… shocking I’m sure. lol
RWD: I noticed, probably because I nearly fell out of my suite screaming at a Gopher fan.
FHG: Yeah, it seem there are very few liked Gopher fans out there. [This person in particular was totally unlikeable.]
RWD: Very few liked Yankee fans out there, too. But who is your most hated opponent?
FHG: UND, without a doubt. It used to be UMD the first couple years but UND is by far my most hated opponent. Just going up to the Nazi Bunker, they think our fans are obnoxious and annoying, they need to look in the mirror. But you can’t deny the rivalry, as far as hockey I think UND is the biggest rival for the Gophers.
RWD: You hated tUMD? Alert the presses!
FHG: The first couple years I went up there it got pretty intimidating, but it’s gotten a lot more mellow the last few years up there.
RWD: There is a lot of debate over who the “biggest rival” is for Gopher hockey. I would say it comes down to UND and the Red Menace, and I think you could make an argument either way. Personally, I’ve always thought it was Wisconsin, because the rivalry expands beyond hockey, but if we lived in a hockey-only microcosm, I’d say UND.
FHG: UND NO DOUBT. Sconnie is the rival in the big picture of Gopher sports but as far as hockey goes, it’s UND. Just my opinion though.
RWD: I see we are on the same page here. I guess it’s either Fascists or Communists, and in the end, they’re both the same…
FHG: Pretty much. WOW, A Gopher fan and Bulldog fan agreeing on something. The end is near!
RWD: Oh man, I better ask a tough one now, I can’t have that last. Who will we see in goal this weekend: Long Island Frazee or Kellen Smorgasbriggs?
FHG: Both. Kellen “Pay Your Tab” Briggs on Friday and Jeff “Pour Another” on Saturday. I think they will split until at least mid-January. [FYI: That’s when the games start to actually “count.”]
RWD: Have you, as a hockey fan, accepted more than $100 in free food and drinks from hockey boosters?
FHG: Heck no, I WISH! It gets spendy to drink down by the “U”.
RWD: I have accepted many free drinks from hockey fans, based both on my witty repartee and my attractiveness.
FHG: NICE! You gotta go with what works. That’s what I always say. God, is it Wednesday yet?
RWD: I had to say that, because in my last interview I said I was fat for comedic effect, when in fact I am not. But on that note, for my female readers (all 2 of them), is there a Mrs. FHG?
FHG: Oh god no! Why end a great life by getting married. I’d rather run into fires all day and night non-stop and burn alive than fall into that trap. Maybe a little too descriptive, huh?
RWD: Well, there’s always the ‘Toga.
FHG: That’s what I always say.
RWD: Who would you say is the most attractive player on your current squad?
FHG: I haven’t looked at them that close to even be able to tell.
RWD: I personally like Blake Wheeler.
FHG: Um, I’ll go ahead and agree so we can move on from this very uncomfortable question. lol
RWD: Not yet, buddy. Suggest an alternate hairstyle for tDon.
FHG: The Don’s hair is the 8th wonder of the world. It’s a masterpiece.
RWD: I notice it is not hereditary. Do you think Tony Lucia was brought on the team as a spy?
FHG: Could be. I was kind of surprised he made the team, but he has been doing o.k. so far. He is a physical player that the Gophers can really use. And I’m sure he can drink with the best of them.
RWD: He is probably drinking seltzer water while wearing an oversized cowboy hat with a camera in it.
FHG: Well, they never did show the camera person last year for the Fox 9 report!
RWD: Speaking of physical players, and also players RWD likes, is Wheeler improving this year?
FHG: Well I don’t think he can be any worse. He has been pretty impressive so far. I compare him with Barry Tallackson from a couple years ago, all that size and he didn’t put it to good use. Wheeler could be a little more physical in his game. But if he keeps scoring some goals I can deal with it.
RWD: God don’t say that. I hate Barry.
FHG: Yeah, I’m not real dissapointed he’s gone. But he always did seem to come alive in the post-season it seemed like… so at least he played when it mattered most I guess.
RWD: Who’s your favorite player? On this squad, and all-time.
FHG: On this squad right now, Jay Barriball. The kid is a STUD for being so small, he’s not afraid to grind it up with anyone, plus I share his jersey # so there is some camaraderie there. Of all time… wow, thats tough. I would have to say Grant Potulny. He had such great leadership on and off the ice. And for him to overcome all the hype for being one of the first out-of-staters for the Gophers. He was awesome!!!
RWD: I notice you would not comment earlier about hottness but then you called Barriball a stud… interesting.
FHG: He’s a stud on the ice.
RWD: More favorites: who is your favorite broadcaster for the Gophers (radio or TV)?
FHG: Doug Woog. I love the “Woogerisms” as we call them. For radio Glen Sonmor is a class act as well. Who could forget his “take that you stinkin’ Badgers” quote from last year? I’ll add my least favorite, and that would be Reed Larson from a couple years ago, because he ripped on the fire helmet.
RWD: Wow, that’s tough. Singled out on the airwaves!
FHG: You damn right! And who could forget when Wooger called DHG “Tubby” on the PA and Dubay show last year?! CLASSIC Bulldog vs. Gopher moment.
RWD: Explain what is wrong with Woog when he is not speaking on camera. He stands there stunned, like a deer in headlights. Is he a.) drunk b.) high or c.) both?
FHG: I would have to say d.) Hungover still!
RWD: Even on Friday nights?
FHG: You never know. Thats what makes those guys so fun to listen to.
RWD: Let’s have a prediction for this weekend.
FHG: Oh boy. There is one big factor that weighs heavy on me for this weekend… NO MORE ISAAC. I think the chances of a Gopher sweep are very good. BUT with that said, they do always have a hard time at the DECC with the small ice.
RWD: What’s going to win these games for you guys? What will lose it?
FHG: If the “D” takes a weekend vacation they will lose, they need to play the Dogs strong on their home ice. This freshmen class of sharpshooters will be what wins it. Okposo and Barriball are scoring machines right now.
RWD: All right. I’ll forward that to the coach… And the K is really silent in Okposo?
FHG: If Barriball gets a hat trick on Saturday, the helmet may be thrown over the glass onto the ice!!!! Yes, the K is silent. Glad to see that rumor is getting around.
RWD: That’s a pretty big if there. You better hope your team scores 3 goals the whole weekend.
FHG: Oh I think they will. Sounds like Stalock needs to learn how to stay in his net a little more.
RWD: Sorry. I have trouble with the trash-talking. Yes, that would be true. But all the great ones play the puck.
FHG: It always seems like Bulldog goalies stand on their head when the Gophers come to town, so really anything can happen. Like my buddy says, these are two teams that don’t like each other, you can throw the record books out the window. Or something like that.
RWD: Well, I think that about wraps things up. I hope the arena doesn’t fall on your head this weekend.
FHG: Oh well, if it does, what a place to die… up in my favorite city.
RWD: With 5493 of your closest enemies. [Assuming a sell-out crowd.]
Anyone who wants to party with FHG will find him at either the Sports Garden or Club Saratoga, starting on Wednesday.
Runnin' With the Dogs 