>When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
>So… not the best way to end the weekend. Seriously, I can’t have a birthday every day! Someone else needs to step up and proclaim it is their birthday. (That someone could have been Nate Ziegelmann, but I guess not…)
Key injuries to MacGregor Sharp and Nick Kemp, and a not-so-key injury to Josh Johnson, may have hurt us tonight offensively, but I thought we’d have a chance with Mannino in net, since consensus had Fisher as DU’s top goalie. But, it was not to be.
FYI, I may have to bring the Hater Report back for Rhett Rakhshani.
I hope I never see Bill Mason again.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10
(both holding steady until we sweep next weekend)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 9
Michael Gergen: 3
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 1
Mike Curry: 0 (No penalties! Excellent physical play! Superb!)
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 3
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0
Mitch Ryan and Trent Palm got in their first official games tonight. Fulton did get a point, so the freshmen are on the board!
>Whoever Has The Goals Makes The Rules
>Last night, The Aaaalleged Webmaster noted that perhaps Jason Garrison was lobbying to be one of my “guys” with his game-winning goal.
That goal meant a whole lot more than just a win.
from umdbulldogs.com
You, Jason Garrison, Denver Nemesis, Sniper, King Amongst Men, are now officially one of my “guys.”
My Guys Competition now stands:
Niskanen 7
Gergen 3
Garrison 2
McKnight 1
Curry x
This is totally legal, BTW. Not that anyone would challenge, since no one cares.
SWEEP TONIGHT! GO ‘DOGS!
>The Gifts of the Magi
>‘Dogs 2, Pioneers 1
What could be better than a Bulldogs win on this, the holiest of days?
Well, the Wild won, too. So that was cool. AND I didn’t have to work. AND DA gave me ‘Dogs tickets for my b-day. AND I am getting my Medieval Laptop upgraded. AND other things happened.
Hello, WE NEED A NEW ARENA. IT IS FALLING APART. HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP.
Anyway, the Four Wise Men, Michael Gergen, Andrew Carroll, Ryan Geris, and Jason Garrison combined to give me this wonderful gift of a win. Also, Bruce asked my question on the air, wished me a Happy Birthday, and called the Gophers dirty. Why is no one else emailing the booth? It is so entertaining!
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 10 (Did I not predict, first conference win on my bday?!)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Michael Gergen: 3 (Superb, on the PP!)
Matt McKnight: 1
Mike Curry: 0 (But! No Penalties!)
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
et al.: 0
Come on, Freshmen, get in the game!!! (Although there were some good chances for you guys tonight, so it’s not like you are slacking.)
Very cool. See you all tomorrow!
RWD out.
>Joyeux Anniversaire!
>Bonjour, mes camarades!
That’s “Hello, my comrades!” in case you don’t know. I’m trying to reach out to mes fanatiques francophones, and also annoy Donald/Drop the Puck at the same time. It’s called multi-tasking. Try it.
Anyway, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.
I WANT A WIN.
PREFERRABLY A SWEEP, SINCE WE ARE AT HOME.
Also, tomorrow is Ziggy’s birthday, and I am sure he would like a win, too.
The key to this win?
It’s in the numbers (as are many things on this site. RWD is an engineer.)
RWD is going to be 24. Yes, as in, hours in the day. Or a show I don’t watch but others like that stars Kiefer Sutherland. Or Logan Gorsalitz’s number.
And that brings me to the key: put The Kid in! I see him getting 2 goals and 4 points (the others will be assists on Curry goals) and we will win 24 – 0.
On second thought, take that last part out. Let’s not go overboard. Denver will lose 2-7.
And no, nobody’s parents asked me to post this. All they did was come up with the nickname.
Also, Chris, this + the LGDU interview is as close to a game preview as I will get.
>The Gauntlet: Denver Edition
>
In this new feature of the RWD media conglomerate, the lovely mastermind behind the site throws down the gauntlet to various bloggers, hockey enthusiasts, and trolls under bridges. The first interview is with the genius behind the Let’s Go DU web empire, and as for which category he fits into, that’s for you to decipher. You have never seen more ellipses in your life.
RWD: So, how did you get started as a DU fan?
DG: I was a student in the Mid-Eighties went to a few games… yada, yada, yada… I ended up in charge of the DU Student Section called the Bleacher Creatures.
RWD: So it wasn’t when you got your rejection letter from CC?
DG: Hmmm… this is going to be a Mike Wallace 60 Minutes-style ambush interview… I like it.
RWD: What else would you expect from a crack reporter like me?
DG: A few softballs to start… kind of like what I lob to Gwoz to keep on his good side.
RWD: Oh, so you and Curious George are buddies?
DG: He knows me. I don’t have a firm grip on what he thinks of me, but I suspect he thinks I’m insane.
RWD: Does he know you simply because you are the guy that wears the toga?
DG: Yeah. I think he’s still mad at me because I became as famous as him after he did all the work to win the championships, and I gravy trained off of his success
RWD: I noticed that he’s often trying to compete with your success. Especially that time he climbed on the top of the boards. Do you think he feels threatened by you?
DG: He said he won’t climb the boards again. I think he’d like me to go away, because I bring down the average IQ of the DU Alumni base.
RWD: But coming back to the toga… how did that start?
DG: Myself and two friends from Houston were going to a toga party at Tufts University after the National Championship game in Boston. There wasn’t time to go home and change. True story…
RWD: So… you started this in 2004? Not in college?
DG: The togas were in 2004. The crazy [feces] happened in 1985-87.
RWD: Right, I was referring specifically to the togas. That explains a lot. What’s the proper way to wear a toga? Is it like a kilt, with nothing underneath?
DG: A lot and I mean a lot of safety pins. It doesn’t matter if you wear underwear, it’s going to be embarrassing if anything falls off in front of 10-20,000 people. [ed. note: I disagree, I think things would be much worse if your toga fell off and there was nothing underneath.]
RWD: Is it a little chilly at a hockey game? With the toga on, I mean
DG: If you are properly fueled that’s not an issue…
RWD: Indeed. So you started Let’s Go DU a bit over a year ago… why?
DG: Good question. Finally a softball. A friend & I had prepared a 20 page report on improving school spirit at DU and I wanted to put it on the internet so that people at DU would see it. Somehow I ended up with a blog.
RWD: Are you some sort of alumni superstar? Or did you write this 20 page paper because DU discovered you had skipped your final in freshman English?
DG: My attorney said that I shouldn’t answer any questions about my academic background on the grounds that I might incriminate myself. I was a terrible student and English was my worst and least favorite subject.
RWD: I guess that goes to show anyone can have a blog… So you weren’t inspired to start a blog by, say… other blogs? [i.e. Runnin’ With The Dogs.]
DG: I never saw a blog until the day I started mine. A DU fan had one, I saw it figured I could stick the report on it and then never see it again. Like many things in my life. I WAS WRONG.
RWD: So this report took on a life of its own?
DG: No the Blog did. The Report has died a thousand deaths, but like me it never gives up…
RWD: Oh. How Frankenstein-y. So what would you say the Let’s Go DU Mission Statement is?
DG: To make people laugh, to provide an outlet for people who are proud of DU, and to spotlight our hockey program in a unique manner.
RWD: Wow, it’s almost like you saw that one coming. Now the empire is growing, with a message board and a website. How is the website going to differ from the blog?
DG: The website is off to a really strong start. CO14ers has lined up writers[. It] is going to cover different sports, and hopefully bring a wider, younger, hipper audience than the blog.
RWD: I am young, hip, and wide, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. [I said this for comic effect, I am not actually fat. Or cool.] As far as the blog, are you the sole mastermind behind it?
DG: I have a lot of help. Many of the DU posters provide me with info, ideas and feedback. If the blog sucks it’s their fault. If it’s great it’s all my work.
RWD: I like the concept. I too blame lackeys for anything that goes wrong.
DG: It’s the only way.
RWD: I noticed that there seems to be a lot more “filler” on your site, and by “filler” I mean actual true stories from reputable sources. What’s the deal there?
DG: I think that’s part of the joke of the site. Anything to do with DU is serious, thought provoking, informative. Anything that refers to another team is a lampoon.
RWD: I would counter that the articles that actually provoke thoughts from me are usually the lampoons. What would you say to the rumor floating around the college hockey world that you have no life?
DG: I do all my work on the blog at work. The blog doesn’t affect my drinking, travel schedule, or partying.
RWD: I see. And for the ladies that might accidentally stumble across this interview, is there a Mrs. DG?
DG: No. Would you want to marry someone who has a blog called LetsGodU? It sounds like a boring religious site.
RWD: Touché. Would you ever date someone that went to CC?
DG: Absolutely not. I’m against mixed marriage. Besides I couldn’t marry someone who was smarter than me. That’s why I like North Dakota girls.
RWD: I hear there’s a pretty one behind every tree.
DG: Touché.
RWD: Hey, who’s making the sarcastic comments here, you or me?
DG: [You].
RWD: Right. Why exactly does CC suck so badly?
DG: They have the typical small town, inferiority complex on steroids thing going. [This answer was actually sort of disappointing, I was hoping for more of a tirade, but this is journalism, not sensationalism.]
RWD: Do they reciprocate your feelings?
DG: I wouldn’t know, I’ve never spoken to a CC “person.”
RWD: I met some CC moms at the 2005 Frozen Four and they were pretty good-looking, and also drunk. You might be more similar than you think.
DG: The good looking or the drunk part?
RWD: I meant the collective “you” not you specifically. But either or. Granted I’ve never actually seen you in person.
DG: I’m not as good looking or as drunk as you think. It’s all an act to get more blog hits. [Note that I never actually said I thought he was good-looking.]
RWD: I’ll have to get my fact-checker to ask Puck Swami for confirmation.
DG: Don’t believe a word that weasel says…
RWD: Well, let’s switch gears here a little and talk about this weekend. What sort of booze will you be drowning your sorrows in after you are swept?
DG: I only drink before victories never after losses. I believe the drinks this Friday will be Zombies…
RWD: You will not win on Friday, as I already stated [in our email correspondence], but moving on, what are we going to see out of Denver this weekend?
DG: You are going to see three unbelievable freshmen forwards: Trotter, Rakhshani & Ruegsegger. Also keep an eye on Gifford… He was my sleeper pick opening weekend, and now he’s on the first line.
RWD: Yes, Tyler is unbelievable looking, but I didn’t think Rakhshani was hott. He almost made the Uggo list, and there was some lobbying to have him on there. But who would you nominate for the All Hottie Team from the Pioneers?
DG: Mrs. Gwozdecky
RWD: Is she a walk-on?
DG: Full scholarship all the way. It’s also rumored that she picks the line-ups and tells Gwoz what to wear.
RWD: Well isn’t that what all coaches’ wives do?
DG: Well she’s won two Penrose awards, twice was runner-up, and won two National Championships… Obviously she’s smarter than the other wives.
RWD: I guess the other wives should start shopping wherever she shops. So, what do you expect from the Bulldogs this weekend?
DG: I hope it’s not the same bunch of clowns that kicked our [badonkadonks] in the playoffs last season. I hope DU doesn’t let UMD get off to a fast start on Friday.
RWD: Actually, it essentially is the same bunch of clowns.
DG: That’s what I was afraid of. We need to keep your sophomores under wraps.
RWD: We need to keep them, too. For the full four years.
DG: 4 more years. Sounds like a political rally. Good luck with that.
RWD: I don’t think they have 4 more years of eligibility. [We can only dream.] So, to wrap things up, let’s have a weekend prediction.
DG: Same as always. DU sweeps. Good luck to UMD this weekend and the rest of the season. Tell the Minnesota Legislature to get their [badonkadonks] in gear and pass the DECC renovation. GO DU. Thanks for “interviewing me,” feel free to edit anything to make me look like a sexist, racist, egotistical bigot…
RWD: I don’t think I need to edit it to give it that sort of slant. I can read between the lines.
DG: Agreed.
RWD: Well, have a good night.
Well, I think this feature is going to become one of the best ones over here at RWD. I think this interview went well overall, especially considering I didn’t have many questions prepared.
In the future? Ask not at whom the gauntlet is thrown, it is thrown at thee.
>Where’s MY Frozen Custard?
>5-2 Wisconsin.
Sometimes, good things happen to bad commies. (Well, that’s redundant.)
I’m good to go, though. We’re better than I thought. And that’s cool. I guess tonight’s game got away from us a little. Bruce was apoplectic on the air over some non-calls, but I can’t comment as I didn’t see. And it can’t be all about the officiating. I did NOT appreciate the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty from Alex Stalock, especially after I received the official explanation. THAT was not an officiating screw-up. THAT is going to get you thrown in The Humane Society of the WCHA! Alex is the first resident of the year! That is not good! Why so many exclamation points!?
Things were looking good for us when we struck first. And things were still looking good when we tied it up 2-2. And then they just looked… well, if I were to place the rest of the game on a The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly post, it would be in bold on the Uggo list.
It did sound like we were doing some good things. Lots of blocked shots. The 4th line sounded better than it has all year. I didn’t hear too many scrambles around the Bulldog net.
Why dwell on the negative? We didn’t get swept. We put up a darn good fight on the road, in a tough building. That place is INTIMIDATING, the way I imagine the Kremlin is. On the plus side, I’ve never had so many people pissed off at me since I wrote a controversial Letter to the Editor to the Daily Illini! I am rivalling Donald The Puck! And all with a little satire! The Animal Farm post is evidently the Dumbest Blog Post Ever. I find that hard to believe. I’ve certainly written worse things about Wisconsin previously, but I am always proud to reach a new low.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 25 (no change)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 11 (first conference win will come on my birthday: you heard it here first!)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Michael Gergen: 2 (Yes! I’m not a curse!)
Matt McKnight: 1 (Also not cursed by me!)
Mike Curry: 0 (I should seriously consider giving Mike 1/8 point for every game he does not have a charging or an elbowing penalty, and 1/4 point for every game he does not take a penalty at all. But I do think the physicality he brings to the game is something we’ve been lacking. He just needs to take it down a notch at times. He did have a pretty good night tonight, it sounds like!)
That Gergen-McKnight-Carroll line is going to be un-be-freaking-lievable. I can’t even wait.
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
et al.: 0
Not a lot of freshmen action tonight… but many of them were not playing. Maybe next weekend?
So, on the plus side, two more of my “guys” got on the board. VERY SWEET. It’s only a matter of time before Curry gets on there… when’s the next time we play Michigan Tech?
Potential Awesomeness upcoming for the Denver series. Watch for it here! (On the site in general. Not in this very spot.)
Exclamation Point Count: 12! 13.
>Hail Communist Overlords!
>Hello all you Bucky fans coming over here to check out the site. Hope you brought your sense of humor!
Tonight’s game ended in a tie, which is pretty sweet for us, considering I’m pretty sure the Red Army thought we’d be a joke. It’s tough to win a Saturday game on the road, but I think we’re in a pretty good position to steal another point or two.
Sadly, our totalitarian domination on the power play wasn’t so hot tonight, although we did get one power play goal tonight. AND NO SHORTHANDED GOALS. That’s key. We were also the only team to score at even strength. Let’s not discuss the PK. Or the fact we kept negating our power plays.
Bruce Ciskie’s Stars of the Game:
#3 Andrew Joudrey
#2 Mason Raymond
#1 Alex Stalock (but I’ve heard “Shot Save Puck Still Loose” FAR TOO OFTEN, homeslice!)
I like announcers that give both teams stars of the game… unlike certain announcers in the Twin Cities Metro Area.
Now, for the Numbers:
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 25
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: still hangin’ on at 11
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Etc.: 0
Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
And The Rest: 0
I want to see some freshmen on the scoreboard tomorrow for the ‘Dogs! I also hope to see Logan Gorsalitz on the Curry line for the ‘Dogs tomorrow.
And as for my “guys,” you’re letting Nisky run away with the field! Let’s step it up! And hey, that goes for the rest of you. You don’t have to be one of my “guys” to be a rock star. In the grand scheme of things, you’re all my “guys”.
>When You Say Wisconsin, You’ve Said Too Much
>Little known fact: I didn’t even know that was a Budweiser jingle until earlier this year. Please, like I would ever drink Budweiser. I am a lady, and I deserve nothing but the best. It’s Miller High Life or nothing at all, thank you.
Anyway, the Bulldogs are preparing to march on the capital in protest of these so-called “National Champions.” It’s time for their Bolshevik Reign of Terror and Trap-Style Hockey to end. I remember I went into the Kohl Center two years ago, and I saw a sign hanging up above the rink. It seemed strange at the time, and so I noted it, as a good investigative journalist would do (should I ever want to be one). I guess Wisconsin was just trying to remind us they were a very inclusive institution.
1. Whatever wears a striped shirt is an enemy.
2. Whatever plays on the point, or on the wing, is a friend.
3. No hockey player shall harm a tent.
4. No hockey player shall play against a team that has an offensive mascot.
5. No hockey player shall drink alcohol.
6. No hockey player shall dive on the ice.
7. All hockey players are equal.
So, I happened to be watching a Wisconsin hockey game on TV last year, and I saw the same banner, but it looked slightly different.
1. Whatever wears a striped shirt is an enemy a friend that won’t call us for blatant slashing.
2. Whatever plays on the point, or on the wing, in front of the net and blocks shots is a friend.
3. No hockey player shall harm a tent unless the tent was a threat to them.
4. No hockey player shall play against a team that has an offensive mascot unless it is in our conference.
5. No hockey player shall drink alcohol at Blarney’s.
6. No hockey player shall dive on the ice unless another player touches them.
7. All hockey players are equal.
And then this year, an anonymous source sent me this picture of Wisconsin hockey players changing the banner. It now reads only a single sentence:
All hockey players are equal, but goalies are more equal than others.
Okay, yeah yeah yeah, all this means is, without their goalie and their shot-blocking, the Commies have nothing. We have got the total package. No one from our team had to be hospitalized during the last series, no one person from our team is the difference between 0-0 ties and 7-0 losses, no one from our team defected, and very few people left due to graduation. If Wisconsin makes it through this weekend with a point or two, they should consider themselves lucky. Once we’re firing on all cylinders, this Bulldogs team is going to be unbelievable. You heard it here, although probably not first.
This weekend, even Bucky Badger himself would rather be DEAD than RED. Rise up, Bulldogs, and throw down the shackles of your communist oppressors!
>Details, Details
>Well, the weekend’s over, I finally have a day off, and there’s so much to write about… and it’s GOOD.
What? Oh, I’m sorry. I was distracted. Why does everyone look so much hotter than they did in those stupid team photos from the roster?? This is posted up on the Camrose Kodiaks website, as all four of these handsome guys are Kodiak alumni.
Also, I unearthed my program from last year and discovered that I was wrong. Matt McKnight did actually get a new picture this year, he is just wearing the same thing and has almost exactly the same expression on his face.
Chris writes over at Maverick Hockey Nation about starting the season off the right way. The Mavs are a 1-1-0 team, and we are a 1-0-1 team, but it’s all binary. After last year’s October, when we had only one win (the Mike Curry Scoring Extravaganza at Tech), things were looking grim. There’s nothing grim about the start to this season, and it feels great.
So, we’re not going to nitpick about the shorthanded goals we gave up (3), but we are going to celebrate the wonderful 7/14 power play awesomeness. Sources say we have a much different power play plan of attack, and DHG will be asking Bruce if that is thanks to Bill Watson. Now I have to think of another question to Ask The Booth. Maybe they should just call it Ask The Bruce. I like that better.
The line combinations seem to be working well. Lines 2 and 3 are rolling, and Line 1 is like a freaking scoring bomb just waiting to go off. Line 4 obviously hasn’t been solidified yet, but Saturday (when I actually was able to listen to the game) it sounded like the Gorsalitz-McFarland-Curry line was working well.
Goaltending? I’m not concerned. Stalock sounds like he will only get better, he’s already confident enough to play the puck in some tight situations (which almost resulted in a goal for UML, but them’s the breaks). I don’t know what else to say on that note, because Johnson and Ziegelmann only played 1 period of exhibition hockey. We all thought we’d see two goalies last weekend, so any speculation is just… speculation.
Final Thought: It totally rocks to see defensemen scoring. The forwards have scored 6 goals, and the defense has scored 4. Whoa, 6 + 4 = 10. 10 goals in one weekend? I love it.
>That’s The Way (Uh Huh, Uh Huh) I Like It (Uh Huh, Uh Huh)
>UMD 7, UML 3.
Let me tell you, I have never heard a sweeter sound than the voice of Bruce Ciskie, as In-The-Doghouse Alleged Webmaster finally, finally figured out what was coming between me and my hockey. It was a codec we needed to install, in case you cared. But you don’t, which is cool. I’m ok with that.
Recap tomorrow. I guess. My brain is fried from work.
Contest Updates:
My Guys:
Nisky: 6 (Sweet Georgia Brown!)
Everyone Else: Zippo
Freshmen:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
And The Rest: 0
HOW ABOUT THAT POWER PLAY??
