>Dear Players,
Stop googling yourselves. I know you’re doing it. I check my stats, I see where the hits come from. I know, I know, sometimes it’s a fan, but come on. It’s obvious what’s going on here. Don’t make me call you out by name, Colby Genoway (oh wait, I just did.)
First of all, if you aren’t a Bulldog, you probably don’t want to read what I have to say about you. Second of all, if you are a Bulldog, you’re probably waking up at night in a cold sweat, hoping I’m not standing outside your window watching you sleep.
You’re a hockey player. We love you (or hate you, if you’re the opposition.) It goes without saying (or googling.) Shouldn’t you be lifting weight somewhere?
With awe,
Runninwiththedogs
>Go Daddy-o
>So, no one got my Anthony Grieco/Richard Grieco joke. That’s fine. We shall move on. I thought it was funny, but there’s no accounting for taste.
Tomorrow (or, to be more precise, one hour and one minute from the time I am typing this exact sentence) is Father’s Day. I know that I just got all sentimental not three weeks ago, but no one asked me when to schedule Father’s Day. If someone had asked, I would have requested it not be so close to DA’s birthday. Really, it’s not normal for me, and it’s probably making the rest of you uncomfortable. Fear not, because there’s a really sour, bitter, acrid post coming right up. In the meantime, find a leather strap to bite on or something, because here we go.
Tomorrow (as I already said) is Father’s Day. Lucky girl that I am, I have a father (DA), a grandfather (Gramps), a brother (UMDDogz), two uncles (H and L), and a partner (The Alleged Webmaster), who are all ‘Dogs fans, and who are all great men, fathers or not. A stick salute to all of you for being such an awesome family.
Happy Father’s Day, too, to all my hockey blogger friends who are fathers (Bruce, DTP, Satnu, and anyone else who has kids but didn’t make it known.) I owe you all a beer.
There, that wasn’t so bad now, was it? I promise I’ll get back to our regularly scheduled sarcasm very soon.
>?
>Ones and Zeroes
>I know, I realize I’ve been a little inconsistent lately with the posting. There’s a lot of reasons for that. I mean, the off-season is hard, especially when I’m trying to keep the content somewhat within the boundaries of the “Social Contract” (and good taste, but… yeah), so I’m having a little trouble in the old inspiration category. It would be so easy to pull a DG and knock off for the summer, but I just can’t do that. Why?
Because bloggin’ ain’t easy. But it’s necessary.
So, let’s have a little Letterman-esque fun.
Top 10 Reasons I’m Glad I’m A…
Sports Blogger
10. Games are terrific raw material: all I have to do is fill in the gaps.
9. NASCAR is not a relevant topic on a sports blog.
8. I’m not good-looking enough for the ratings communities.
7. Free admission to the games… with the price of a ticket.
6. No embarrassing posts people will find once my anonymity is destroyed.
5. I outgrew LiveJournal before it even existed.
4. It’s too much work to fake having a child so I can be an ever-popular “mommy-blogger.”
3. It’s much less vapid than a personal blog.
2. I don’t take “arty” photographs.
1. I don’t have any talents other than being critical of other people’s talents.
Hockey Blogger
10. I can’t be accused of hopping on the hockey bandwagon, because there isn’t one.
9. Typing keeps my fingers warm on those cold winter nights.
8. I can lie and say I met my blogging friends through “sports” instead of “the internet.”
7. It’s so multicultural: I’ve got readers from one former imperial power and two of its former colonies.
6. I get summers off (if I want them.)
5. It’s okay to be a little rough around the edges. Or downright abrasive.
4. It comes naturally to me, it’s in my genetic code.
3. No one named Chauncey plays hockey.
2. Caps lock saves me from laryngitis. I can write it rather than scream it.
1. Blood doesn’t bounce on Astro-turf
Bulldog Blogger
10. I can access Duluth by air, land, and sea.
9. So many wonderful puns!
8. The other ‘Dogs bloggers are so darn nice!
7. I couldn’t be sarcastic about a winning team.
6. No TV coverage means I can imagine things in my head, just like in the olden times.
5. No one hates the ‘Dogs with the depths of their souls.
4. It goes with the jersey.
3. I’ve got the moral high ground.
2. They have a “retro,” “old-school” barn.
1. Better dead than red.
>A Little Bulldog Told Me…
>… that today is Runnin’ with the Dogs’ ace reporter/prognosticator DA’s birthday today. I won’t tell you how old he is, but it does rhyme with nifty. And thrifty. And it certainly doesn’t rhyme with young.
Happy Birthday, Daddy-o. Just think, without your influence, I’d never be a ‘Dogs fan. And if I wasn’t a ‘Dogs fan, this blog wouldn’t exist. And if this blog didn’t exist, no one would be telling the whole internet how old you are.
Love,
The Daughter You Are Ashamed to Sit With at Hockey Games
>An Actual Post Based on Fact
>At a Bulldog ceremony second only to the Oscars in glitz and glamour, the post-season awards were handed out.
Tim Stapleton, resplendent in Christian Dior, took home the highest honor, Most Valuable Player. In his speech, he thanked his family, his linemates, and, with a tear in his eye, the makers of the movie Youngblood.
Young superstar Mason Raymond was named Rookie of the Year (not to be confused with the Rookie of the Year from this previous RWD story, who is neither young nor a superstar). Mason strutted down the maroon and gold carpet in Armani Black Label. He spoke eloquently of his appreciation for all the nicknames the fans have made for him, and thanked RWD for making him one of our “guys.”
The sleeper hit of the evening was Nate Ziegelmann, named Most Improved Player. Ziegelmann, of Grand Forks, ND, was dressed head to toe in functional and fashionable Carhartt apparel. Ziegelmann wanted especially to thank the defensive corps for waking up and actually trying during the games he played, and he also thanked his comrades between the pipes, Isaac Reichmuth and Josh Johnson, for taking a chance on a young kid with a dream.
The final award of the night, Most Inspirational Player, went to Andrew Carroll. No. 20 tread the fibers in Ralph Lauren, and brought the house down with his speech. By “the house,” I mean “the DECC,” although that might have been falling down all along. It was a touching moment for all. Even Jim Jensen had a tear in his eye, although that might have been a consequence of pepper spray rather than emotion.
Look for a full spread in next months issue of Vogue Hockey. Michael Gergen is nude on the cover, wearing only a feather boa.
(Note: I said this post was based in fact. I never said it didn’t go horribly awry.)
>A Night at the Roundtable
>Ah yes, once again, someone wants to pick my great hockey brain. Last month, it was Chris over at Western College Hockey. This time, it’s Bruce Ciskie. I am all too happy to oblige with my unique blend of the fantastic and the real.
Has the college game truly seen in increase in stickwork in recent years?
Well, I don’t know what hockey was like in the olden times, you’ll have to ask my dad, but I think it’s safe to say I DON’T LIKE LAZY STICK PENALTIES. If you’re going to get a penalty, do it for something exciting, like charging, not something lame, like hooking. Yeah, you got burned. Why don’t you try forechecking a little next time, homeslice? I guess you can think about it when you’re chatting with the sweat-towel-and-water-bottle dude. It’s tough, though. College hockey has a lot of superstars, One Year Wonders who can skate circles around the average (or below average) hockey player. Fourth Line All-Stars and defensemen have no other recourse.
Do officials do a good job of calling “clutch-and-grab” infractions consistently?
Ah yes, the key word here is consistently. Hmmm. I wouldn’t have to get beta-blockers on the black market if penalties were consistently called. Plus, the words “officials” and “good job” never belong in the same sentence unless “aren’t doing” is between them.
The thing about that style of play is, since it isn’t being called, it’s being coached. If the refs called games better, Sloth would be out of a job!
What do you think of the “checking from behind” crackdown?
Did anyone ask Curious George and his Man with the Yellow Hat what they thought about the new “crackdown,” as you say? They seemed to enjoy it. I think the theory is solid. But, “in theory, communism works. In theory.” Do I want to protect players from being carried out on a backboard? You’re darn tootin’. But I don’t want to see people turning at the last minute just to get the call. Like most people are saying, I like the crackdown, but they need to have more leeway in what sort of penalties can be awarded.
What NHL rules change would you like to see adopted in college hockey, and which one do you want college hockey to stay away from?
Offensive Zone: Like it. It would open up more space, especially on the power play. Heaven knows we need more room to get that umbrella working.
Shootout: Ugh. I’d rather see a longer overtime, as one of my comrades suggested. A better option would be to make an OT loss worth one point.
Goalie equipment: I guess if they’re that good, they won’t need to have comedically oversized equipment. Then when you get a goalie gameworn jersey, it might actually fit.
Trapezoid: Though some people like to have their goalies chained to the net for fear of making a bad pass or falling over or having the puck hit a seam to send the game into quadruple overtime only to lose the game, I think it’s a stupid penalty. Nobody gets hurt that way. If Ziggy wants to take the puck all the way down to the other end of the rink and put it in the net, he can be my guest. All I have to say is, he better not miss.
Icing: From a biased perspective, I don’t like it. Mostly because it always seems like my team is the one struggling to clear the puck to get a line change. But if we were to actually gain the momentum, I’d hate to see us lose it. I guess I don’t really care.
Deflecting the puck: I don’t think it’s necessary in NCAA hockey. I don’t know that it was even necessary in the NHL, but no one from the NHL asked me.
What do you think of the increased use of replay in college hockey?
It appears I’m in the minority, but I don’t agree with replay until it can be executed equally at all arenas. There’s enough disparity in the league already. Television replay and multiple camera replay isn’t available at all arenas, and until it is, they need to keep using only the replay everyone has. Yeah, it’s hurt my team in the past, but all that means is they should hurry up and get some darn cameras.
What is one random change you’d like to see made in hockey?
Allow beer. And fighting. And no more Wisconsin Power Play chant.
Sorry, that was three.
>The Social Contract
>According to the scholarly John Locke, all of us ought to exist in what he called “the state of nature,” where everyone is happy, reasonable, and tolerant. Everyone should be equal and independent, with a right to life, health, liberty, and possessions. That sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?
However, this is the real world. We don’t live in an utopic society. There are people who are mean, malicious, and like to check from behind into the boards. Locke’s solution was to enter into a social contract, to protect people from those meanies.
So, what’s the whole point of this philosophizing non sequitur? It’s this site. It’s… it’s… well, it’s anarchy. And not everyone here is basking in the glow of the state of nature, that’s for darn sure. So, it’s time I went up on the mountain and laid down some commandments. Ten, to be exact.
I. This is a fun site. Don’t harsh on the buzz.
II. Not everything on this site is “true.” Not every opinion I have is “informed.” But that’s just semantics.
III. If I want to be ridiculously biased in favor my team, if I want to wear maroon and gold colored glasses, if I want to tirelessly defend Mike Curry no matter what he does, I will.
IV. Though a blog is a glacier on the pinnacle of self-absorption, there won’t be much personal content here, at least in relation to my day-to-day life. No posts solely about my cat, my plans to conquer the planet, or my touch of the rheumatis’. If I do mention anything off-topic, it’ll be as an aside in a hockey-related post.
V. I will never insult another blogger on this site. If I’ve got something mean to say, I’ll come to your house and say it with a flaming bag of cat poo. Therefore, comrades, if you’re offended by something I’ve said, I didn’t mean it. I promise!
VI. I will not, however, link to anyone whose site is overly political, vulgar, or insulting to the team or to me personally. My grampa reads this site, and he told me he doesn’t want to see any of that crap. You’d do well to listen.
VII. I won’t delete any comments, unless they’re solely capitalistic in nature. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a red-blooded, money-hungry capitalist, just like any good American, but don’t post your mortgage quotes here, bucko. [Edit 2/28/11: Don’t bother commenting if you are mean-spirited, overly vulgar or harassing. Remember Commandment #1.]
VIII. There will be no RWD schwag pimped on Cafepress or anywhere else. First of all, what would I even create? “Bark and Bite” thongs? “No Lazy Stick Penalties” muumuus? (Hmm… maybe I should re-think this plan!) Secondly, what sort of a sick person would even want to buy that kind of crap?
IX. I will use any nominative pronoun I darn please on this site. Be it I, he, they, the editorial we, it, you, the royal We, one, or whatever, you will like it.
X. You are more than welcome to use anything I publish on this site for your own evil devices, the more frequently, the better. However, you will, I repeat WILL give me credit. That’s an order, soldiers!
Capice?
Now, who wants to start chiseling this into stone?
>Hitch Up Your Wagons!
>That’s right, get Ma and Pa and little Half-Pint, we’re headin’ on the road with the ‘Dogs! I’ll need someone to come along and shoot buffalo along the way, but beware, because someone on the trail has got to get cholera and die.
Here’s the schedule, and where I’ll be.
Oct 5: vs. Lakehead
These foreign games are super fun! It’s always nice when you’ve got players who speak totally different languages and come from completely different cultures can come together and play on the same ice. I bet I could come up for this one, we’ll see.
Oct 13/14: vs. UMass-Lowell
I enjoyed seeing UMass at the annual Gophers Invite Cupcake Teams So We Don’t Get Embarrassed At Our Own Tournament (GICTSWDGEAOOT, for short), because they almost did what they were invited to not do. However, that doesn’t bode well for the ‘Dogs. I’ll be listening at home.
Oct 20/21: at Wisconsin
No one enjoys a good road trip to Wisconsin more than I do, and normally The Hick, my Official Wisconsin Tour Guide (OWTG), and I would be going to the game, but the following weekend ruins those plans. It does save me from hearing their awful power play cheer. Listening at home this time.
Oct 27/28: vs. Denver
THIS is a PARTY WEEKEND in Duluth. It is MY BIRTHDAY and I will BE THERE, and they had BETTER SWEEP. ROCK!
Nov 3/4: vs. Minnesota-Twin Cities
Why couldn’t they schedule this series for the previous weekend? An offering of Gopher carcass is at the top of my birthday list! I’ll probably be at Joe Senser’s for this one.
Nov 10/11: at Michigan Tech
I believe a road trip to Houghton would be an amazing time, but I just can’t make it this year. Listening to this one in the comfort of my own home.
Nov 15: at Northern Michigan
I like the idea of this series, it’s very retro WCHA. However, how will we respond to an extended road trip and a Wednesday game? Very interesting…
Nov 24/25: vs. St. Cloud State
Are you kidding? I can’t go to a hockey game on the Biggest Losers Coming Out And Buying Cheap Crap Day of the Year! I’ve got a job, sucka! I’ll be lucky to even listen to it.
Dec 1/2: at Alaska-Anchorage
Oh man, oh man, oh man. Don’t tempt me. I am obsessed with Alaska. I want to go there so, so badly. I want to freaking live there. And can you imagine the insanity? Two bitter, rage-filled bloggers like Drop The Puck and me watching a hockey game together? Oh. My. God. Sadly, gotta listen to this one.
Dec 8/9: at Bemidji/vs. Bemidji
Hmm… I find the home-and-home intriguing. I suppose I could head up to Bemidji, and bring along THGIA, since she’s a Beaver alumna. We’ll see on this one.
Dec 15/16: at Minnesota State-Mankato
I could definitely head down to Mankato for the Saturday night game, it’s only an hour away, so I discovered during a random road trip last month.
Dec 29/30: Ohio Hockey Classic, Columbus, OH
Wow, last year they played in a tournament in sunny Florida. So a logical choice for this year was… boring Columbus? Uh, yeah, no thanks. I’ll admire from afar. With my ears.
Jan 5/6: vs. Michigan Tech
This could be a fun series to go to with my mother. She and I went to the Very Exciting Bowling Green Massacre of 2004, and it would be a great follow-up, if she’s around. The jury’s still out.
Jan 12/13: vs. Colorado College
Duluth? In January? Uhhh, let me think. NO. My apartment is nice and cozy and warm, and I don’t think my car would appreciate it.
Jan 19/20: at St. Cloud State
I can trade in my wagon for a snowmobile, strap on a mullet, and head up to St. Cloud for one of these games, I’m sure. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jan 24: vs. Northern Michigan
Again with the cool Wayback-Wednesday game. I won’t be there, but I’ll certainly be rocking out in some Zubaz and a bad perm.
Feb 2/3: at Denver
I don’t think I need to go to Denver YET AGAIN. Please no one give me a reason to go, unless it is a good happy reason with rainbows and sunshine, and it’s free.
Feb 16/17: at North Dakota
I missed out on the Grand Forks Road Trip last year, but I have a feeling there’s one crazy Mexican lady who would love it if I came up there and drank many beers with her. It sounds like a nice little Valentine’s gift!
Feb 23/24: vs. Alaska-Anchorage
If things don’t work out for the Grand Forks Road Trip Part Deux, I’ll go up to Duluth for this weekend. Otherwise, it’s sofa city, sweetheart.
Mar 2/3: vs. Wisconsin
Remember how cool it was to watch us clinch second place in the WCHA against Wisconsin in 2004? Well, I wouldn’t mind a rerun. It would be cool to have this on TV, but alas, I’ll probably be listening to Brucie by the grace of the Internet.
Mar 9/10/11: WCHA Playoffs (First Round), TBD
I can’t really say what I would be doing for the first round, since it’s still “to be determined,” but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “watching from home.” Maybe it’ll be a sports bar, maybe not, but I just hope it’s on TV.
Mar 15/16/17: WCHA Final Five, St. Paul
Since it is, as Hank Williams, Jr., might say, a “family tradition,” I’ll be all over the WCHA Final Five, as usual. You can look for me on the Jumbotron, or being escorted out in handcuffs.
Mar 23/24/25: NCAA Regionals, TBD
The NCAA tournament is not in my plans this coming season, even the “Faster Track to Success” plan, but I’ll have my eye on the regionals anyway, providing there’s interesting matchups, or hotties, or exciting Gopher slaughtering.
Apr 5/7: NCAA Frozen Four, St. Louis, MO
One day, I’ll be there, but alas, the day will not be April 5 or April 7, 2007. If you’re going, enjoy St. Louis, because it’s a darned cute city. Stay away from those riverboat casinos, though.
This is by no means a definite itinerary. I might end up missing a game or two here or there that I was planning on attending, some anonymous benefactor might take me to the Frozen Four, I might finally get that Bulldog assistant coaching job. Who knows what this season might behold for us? And it’s only FIVE MONTHS AWAY. I wish I was a reverse-bear and could hibernate all summer.
>Clear!
>Did you feel that jolt? That was me, with the defibrilator, trying to zap some life back into this site. Geez, the offseason is BORING.
I’ve started my off-season training. THGIA and I are in a softball league. I’m off to a Jeff McFarland-esque start, batting a big fat goose egg. I’ve definitely got the guns to hit it out of the park (ha!), but I’ve got to quit swinging the bat like I’m Luke Skywalker using my lightsaber with the blast shield down. I’m doing a little running, too. I’m not going to show up to the keyboard in October 20 pounds overweight (ahemahemahem, Bulldogs, take note).
You know what’s great, though? Not having to watch the news for early departures. I guess I shouldn’t be too complacent, as I’ve been surprised in the past (Jay Rosehill, we hardly knew ye), but I’m going out on a limb here and saying our guys need at least another year of development in the WCHA before they move on to greener pastures. Or smoother ice. Whatever. It’s safe to say, I don’t fear the reaper. (I do, however, need more cowbell.)
Other teams aren’t as, um, fortunate as we are. (Are we fortunate? We sucked this past season, so we don’t need to worry about losing players? Is that a good thing?) Here’s the Runnin’ With the Dogs Rundown on who we won’t see on the ice next year in the WCHA. At least, so far.
David Backes, Minnesota State-Mankato
Backes was a great player on an okay team. I won’t miss him on the ice because he was a scary opponent, but I wish him the best of luck.
Matt Carle, University of Denver
Matt Carle pretty much did all he could at the collegiate level: national championship, Hobey Baker, All-Hottie team. Don’t get that pretty face messed up in the NHL, honey!
Kris Chucko, Minnesota-Twin Cities
I will miss Chucko simply because his name rhymed with so many insults.
Robbie Earl, Wisconsin-Madison
My archnemesis? Gone? Nooooooooo! He’s totally ruined my plans! Oh, the fun we would have had, the cruel things I would have said! He’s foiled my plan to wear a wetsuit and carry the A (Alfa) flag. (Contrary to what some people had at the WCHA playoffs, the “Diver Down” flag is not red and white, it looks like this.) I didn’t even get a chance to cure his pimples.
Danny Irmen, Minnesota-Twin Cities
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, they’re saying “Good luck getting a puck between us in the NHL.” I don’t like situations like this, when my enemy suddenly joins my side. Joe Mauer joining the Twins, Danny Irmen for the Wild. I just don’t trust it. Maybe one day, love will build a bridge between Danny and me, but I don’t know if it’ll hold.
Ryan Potulny, Minnesota-Twin Cities
The original member of The Hater Report. The inspiration for it, in fact. Oh Ryan, you were The Little Engine That In The End Just Couldn’t Quite Make It. All those awards I listed above for Matt Carle, you were just shy of getting, too. You’re the New Jan Brady!
Matt Smaby, University of North Dakota
I don’t think any opposing players will miss the brain-rattling, bone-jarring, board-shaking hits Big Matt dished out. UND was lucky to get another year out of him, since he was so close to signing with them last year. Instead, they went with our own Rosie the Riveter.
Rastislav Spirko, University of North Dakota (added 5/5/06)
Someone, please hold me. I loved my little Sparky, and I’m going to miss him terribly. First, he goes and gets engaged to someone other than me, now he’s forsaking me to go back to Europe and play for-profit hockey. Don’t go, Spirko! Not without kissing me goodbye!
Drew Stafford, University of North Dakota (added 5/4/06)
Drew was a controversial player around here at Runnin’ With the Dogs. He failed to make the All-Hottie List, and the readers were incensed! I thought Drew was great, he was the king of short-handed goals, he was in a rockin’ band, and his arms made me all hot and bothered. The ladies love ya, Drew, and you’ll be missed.
Travis Zajac, University of North Dakota
Um… uhhh… I liked you? Good luck? Until we meet again? Sayonara? Hasta la vista, baby? I don’t know, what do I say? If only we’d had more time together…
*As more players leave, I’ll post my thoughts in supplemental blurbs, but I’ll also add them to the master list here.
Runnin' With the Dogs 
