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>Postcards from RWD Vol. 1: Miscellaneous

10 April 2006

>Now that it’s officially the off-season for college hockey, I thought I would catch up on some correspondence.

Dear John Scott,

I see you’ve been named college hockey’s Bad Boy of the Year. Evidently you won in a landslide, and I sure as heck voted for you. I would like to point you in the direction of Maine’s Ben Bishop. He’s also 6’7″, and is more than just a pylon. Remember, 6’7″ people can’t win on being 6’7″ alone. Also, Ben is 6’7″ and has managed to avoid running people down in his SUV while intoxicated. I understand the pressures of being 6’7″ are extreme (atmospherically and mentally speaking), but perhaps you could let Ben mentor you in the field of not being a total jackass.

With Concern,

Dear Matt Carle,

Congratulations on winning the Hobey Baker award. You’re definitely deserving, even if you didn’t get to attempt to get a “three-peat.” It’s also great to see you make your mark in the NHL, even if you did lose your jock to Brian Rolston. I know it won’t happen again.
I’m so glad you won the Hobey, Matt, because I’ve been campaigning for you all year. When those silly Gopher fans chanted “Ho-bey Ba-ker” every time that guy, um, what’s his name? The one who scored all the goals against Alaska? Anyway, every time he touched the puck, I counter-chanted “Ma-att Car-le.” I also asked many of them (with the utmost politeness, of course!) if they had ever heard of you, just in case they hadn’t. It’s hard to stay up for those games in Colorado, what with the time change and all.
You rocked this year, Matt. Way to go!

Love and Cuddles,

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