>Tougher in Alaska
>Well, folks, I know that we’ve got our first WCHA series coming up next weekend. It’s at UAA, where we often struggle. This is going to be a real test.
Now, I know I’ve said that this year is going to be different in so many ways. And I got advanced copy of some video that shows me just how serious our guys are about making this the best season we’ve had in years. They’ve been training all summer to get prepped for this series so we can start out 2-0 in the WCHA.
No one was more serious than tUMD’s resident badass, Drew Akins.
Here, Drew is setting out to do what we call the Duluth Rodeo, which involves lassoing ships anchored off-shore and hauling them into port.
Here he is preparing to gnaw through a telephone pole. This way if someone knocks off his helmet his teeth will be tough enough to chew through bone. I wish he’d wear more safety gear, though.
This is Drew’s haul from the Duluth Rodeo. These boats were full of salmon and he ate it all.
After singlehandedly building and erecting this oil derrick, Drew has tapped an oil deposit rich enough to fuel the entire country until we can figure out how to wean ourselves off of petroleum products. He’s about to do some pullups, or maybe bend some of the girders with his bare hands. I won’t say which.
Some of his teammates joined him on his quest to prove himself more efficient than a steam-powered drill. Drew Akins is a steel-drivin’ man. I should mention that being on television adds 10 pounds, but in their case it was added exclusively to their heads. First person to guess correctly all 6 of the guys in the background gets a free beer of their choice at the Curling Club during the Wisconsin series in November.
Based on all the hard work Drew’s been putting in, plus his new role on the power play and his general badass characteristics, I foresee great things this coming weekend. 4 points, boys!