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Lucky Charms

10 October 2014

Comrades, both of our squads are about to undergo a vermin infestation of epic proportions. The Pied Piper of Ridder Arena is bringing his rodents to swarm our beloved AMSoil Arena, and I’ve received word that South Bend is infested with more of these terrible creatures! While their fans are all busy humping some sad old water bottle Michigan’s football team discarded, tUMD shall launch a sneak attack and rid the land of these pests.

For the men, this will be a difficult series, as everyone gets up for the Bulldogs. Teams tend to bring their A-game against tDogs, as for teams like the Gophers, a win against us is their national championship. While it can be tempting to get distracted by the amped up players on the other bench, tUMD just needs to focus on playing their own game, their own way, and dictating the tempo.

I am sure Professional Journalist Extraordinaire Tom Chorske will be DELIGHTED to see the Bulldogs and his favorite player, Austin Farley, again. I’m sure he’s already glowing about the kind things I’m saying to him on Twitter. I simply cannot wait for his measured, unbiased, mature, thoughtful, and intelligent commentary on this sporting competition. Wait… this game won’t be televised by FSN? I thought those stripey little buggers were ratings gold! I guess Chorske will have to sputter and bluster to himself.

Since the Star Tribune, other than Reusse, slobbers over the Gophers, they had to write a puff piece about what a sad panda little baby Rau is after failing, yet again, to win a real national championship, and how he “decided” to come back instead of leaving for the bright lights of the ECHL. It appears he went to Ireland this summer to, I don’t know, bury a pot of gold or a push broom re-bristling or something. I assume most of the Irish people were feeling a bit like Mr. Burns on ether upon the sight of the little fellow.

Footage here.

Or, I don’t know, maybe they were afraid of him, considering his roster pic this year:

As for the women, I hope that we’ve made some adjustments after this past weekend, because as tough as Wisconsin is, the Goofs will be tougher. Stealing a game from the Gophers would be simply glorious, but I expect, at a bare bones absolute rock bottom minimum, tUMD will be competitive the entire weekend. I look forward to seeing you all at the game, and seeing a few first Bulldog goals for our Swedes, perhaps?

Let’s do what Carl Spackler could not, ladies and gents!

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