Runnin' With the Dogs

>Connolly Controversy

17 December 2008

from the Duluth News Tribune

Duluth, MN – The Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs may have come out of this weekend with three points and sole possession of 5th place in the WCHA, but one controversy remains. With 4:30 left in the third period of Saturday’s game, Mike Connolly took a charging penalty… or so the referees said. However, was this really a penalty? And furthermore, did this play really occur? No one seems to be able to pinpoint what happened, or even where it happened.

At first, there seemed to be no issue. Muttsdrool, the Oldest Living UMD fan, recounted that the “occurred right in front of [him] and you could have called high sticking, charging, or roughing, although the rough would have been a stretch.” However, later on, Anti-Gergenite Proman countered with his own recollection. He agreed with the location of the hit, center ice, but disagreed on its severity. “The hit wasn’t exactly the the way you described it. He got his hands up a little bit but his stick wasn’t up and it wasn’t close to the 3 or 4 blatant boarding/checking from behind hits that Tech got away with.” Proman’s argument was for a conspiracy, continuing, “He got called because it was UMD’s turn for a penalty.” Grumpy pessimist UMDBHIK went even further, denying the hit was even a hit. “It’s somehow MCon’s fault two Tech players happened to be in the way?.. It was a terrible call and there is no disputing it.”

UMD Superfan and Antimichaelgergenestablishmentarianist DrunkHockeyGuy disagreed with Muttsdrool as well, stating it “looked pretty clean” from his vantage point high atop section 25, but Mutts challenged DHG’s ability to accurately judge the situation. “[He] couldn’t even see the ice. [He was] [expletive]-faced before the game.” (Sources say DHG was spotted at some Canal Park establishments the previous evening, and another source, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed that DHG had “woken up drunk and continued drinking from there.”)

Later, the location of the hit even came into question. UMD Blogger and convicted felon Runninwiththedogs stated she believed the hit came in the offensive zone, while student section attempted leader Burbstyle agreed, stating it was “like down almost even with the hashmarks.” He also attempted to fend off any accusations of inebriation. “I was sober so hopefully my memory is pretty accurate.” The confidence resonated from that statement. Runninwiththedogs later recanted her statement once her seatmate, freelance hockey writer Bruce Ciskie pointed out he was “pretty sure it was closer to our goaltender than Tech’s,” though even he wasn’t entirely sure, as his attentions were focused on referee harassment. Then DHG stated the hit occurred “just outside the offensive blue line,” despite RWD’s recollection that it was “far away from [Ciskie and herself],” who were seated in section 23 and therefore nearest the offensive zone. Iron Ranger Rinkrat called it “a good hit at center ice,” further confusing the issue, and UMDBHIK agreed, stating the hit was “right around the red line.”

With so much controversy surrounding the penalty and its location, how can we even be sure a penalty occurred? Or even a clean hit? With all the changes in officiating this season, is it any wonder there is such confusion? Rinkrat Ranger voiced his dissent. “As of right now, many of the calls seem to be tools to change the swing of the game, or to amuse the refs, or to pi$$-off the coaches, players, fans, etc. After watching hockey for 30+ years, I finally can say that I don’t understand the current game and the direction it is going.” How can fans understand the game when they cannot even be certain if a play happened?

>I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It

15 December 2008

>You know… because tying is “sister-kissing”…

tUMD 1, “Winners” 1

Woohoo! This was how our drive home started today! But MEg is a true road warrior and navigated us safely through 0 visibility (believe it or not, there were times when it got WORSE than the photo) as we laughed and counted cars in the ditch. Morons. Learn to drive.

I am so lazy, I know, but it’s just been a really long and fun weekend and I also had some internet issues so this post is almost 24 hours after the game ended.

The first loud cheer of the night came in the 3rd period when Howie mentioned the football team’s imminent arrival in the Twin Ports and the subsequent rally. Which, okay, very exciting and happy, I watched the game and laughed at the myriad turnovers, but it was not cool because there should have been something else to cheer about before then. Meaning A GOAL. Or MANY GOALS. Sigh.

Obi got a power play goal soon after that announcement, which was great, and I figured tDogs could hold on, but they did not, and Tech got a PP goal with under 4 minutes to go. Evidently Mike Connolly is not allowed to check more than one person at a time. I said to Bruce “Did he just check three people?” Awesome. And tragic because he got a penalty which resulted in a Tech goal. Deeeeeeepressing. Whatever. Things didn’t happen. Goals were not scored by us. Sadness occurred. But, still a point, and still live Bulldog hockey, which is awesome and fun.

This was the last tUMD game of 2008 and while I totally believe the guys deserve a break to study and rest and get healthy and just chill, I am REALLY GOING TO MISS HOCKEY. Next weekend Tech plays NMU and I’ll probably follow along for some good times and cheer on Tech, but it’s not the same… I want my guys playing!! I’ll be headed to Chicago for the tournament and then I’m not sure when my next game live game will be! Upsetting!

Don’t worry. There will be plenty of content here. I think.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season’s total: 4
Points until we equal last season’s total: 8! (Well, at least we still got a point!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 19
Jack Connolly: 13
Michael Gergen: 7
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 15
Jack Connolly: 13
David Grun: 0
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0

On Notice:
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Mike Connolly
Cody Danberg
Michael Gergen
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

>What Happens in Duluth…

13 December 2008

tUMD 3, Guys Just Happy To Get A Goal 1

Yes, I know, this post is extremely late. But things happened. Secret things. And now I’m watching tUMD football and marvelling at the quality of D2 football. And I also kind of feel like death.

Jacky got a goal, which was so exciting, even though I didn’t realize it was him until Howie announced it, so I didn’t go as ape-[feces] as I should have.

MEg, Yager and I went out with some Duluth friends last night. We had a good time. That is all.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season’s total: 4! (Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’!)
Points until we equal last season’s total: 9! (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 19! (Ee! Power play goal!)
Jack Connolly: 13! (Off-notice! And scored a totally hott goal!)
Michael Gergen: 7
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 15!
Jack Connolly: 13!
David Grun: 0
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0

On Notice:
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Cody Danberg
Michael Gergen
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

>Number Munchers

11 December 2008

It kind of took me awhile to get going because while searching for images for this post, I discovered I can actually play Number Munchers online and got all excited and sidetracked. I haven’t played this game in over 15 years but it is still just as fabulous as always. And there are way more levels than Cedar Manor Elementary’s computers had.

It’s what… almost halfway through the season? And wow. Just wow. Look at all the scoring! It’s insane! 7 goals? To quote Kevin Pates, “CRAZY.” (emphasis mine.)

Just how wacky and wild is this scoring? FIRST OF ALL, in all of last year, tDogs scored 74 goals. This year through 16 games, tDogs have scored 51. That means they are 18.1 goals ahead of last year’s pace. SWEET. Last year’s total power play goals? 18. This year? 24. Yeah, I did a freaking double take at that number.

Let’s look at how some of the guys are faring individually.
(Formatting is LYgoals+LYassist/LY points, TYgoals+TYassists/TY points, point differential [+ or –], points per game differential [+ or –]. You know I love to make these stats posts all pretty and colorful! If this is hard for you to understand, well, I’m sorry, but that’s not my problem.)

Guys who have improved from last season already:

Sharp, MacGregor: 7+10/17, 8+10/18, 1, 0.65
Meyers, Josh: 6+8/14, 6+9/15, 1, 0.55
Fulton, Jordan: 5+9/14, 7+1/8, 6, 0.14
Gergen, Michael: 6+7/13, 3+4/7, 6, 0.07
Fontaine, Justin: 4+8/12, 8+13/21, 9, 0.97
Akins, Drew: 3+6/9, 3+3/6, 3, 0.09
Danberg, Cody: 4+3/7, 0+2/2, 5, 0.01
Oberg, Evan: 1+2/3, 3+9/12, 9, 0.63
Cascalenda, Jay: 0+2/2, 0+1/1, 1, 0.01
Montgomery, Mike: 0+1, 0+3/3, 2, 0.09

Guys who are about to go on a tear and catch up to last year’s numbers any game now:

Kemp, Nick: 7+8/15, 3+3/6, 9, 0.04
Carroll, Andrew: 8+6/14, 1+4/5, 9, 0.1
Palm, Trent: 2+8/10, 0+3/3, 7, 0.04
Schmidt, Kyle: 2+6/8, 2+0/2, 6, 0.12
Greer, Matt: 2+5/7, 1+0/1, 6, 0.12
Bordson, Rob: 1+6/7, 0+0/0, 7, 0.26
Huttel, Chad: 1+1/2, 0+1/1, 1, 0.01

>Postcards from RWD, Vol. 10: In With The New Edition

8 December 2008

Dear Jeff Papas,

Hello, how are you? Did you have a nice trip back to Duluth? All right. Enough with the pleasantries. Let’s get down to business.

I know you’re in kind of a difficult spot. Kind of like a scab, but not quite. But also, maybe some fans need to realize that even if you had not said yes to the job, Ciskie would still have been screwed out of a job.

I listened to you both nights this weekend because I wanted to give you a chance, and also because I really really really can’t stand listening to opposing team’s broadcasts. Especially when I’m watching B2 and can SEE the guy isn’t describing what is actually OCCURRING on the ICE, and he can’t even figure out the FIRST NAME of one of our PLAYERS. But whatever, not relevant.

You’re not Bruce, and I know that, and you never will be Bruce, who we were all used to and enjoyed, but I don’t think you suck. Friday night, I didn’t hear your first period call because NO ONE FLIPPED THE SWITCH so I didn’t get warpradio until like 1:30 was left in the period, and so I didn’t know how things started off. Your interview with Scott Owens was pretty good and so was your interview with the Coach and with Akins, although I miss the more personal questions. I do not miss the video game chatter though. Bleah. Maybe things got a little boring then, and the first goal call was a little flat, but by overtime, you were really into the game and getting excited. Since I was watching the game, I could also tell that you were describing the action very well.

You remind me a bit of tWild’s announcer, Bob Kurtz, which is not a bad thing. You’re just a little different than we’re used to, although not as different as some people think; there’s definitely a sarcastic streak in you. Saturday was an easier game to call, as we scored goal after goal after goal and it was pretty easy to get into the game. You kind of lucked out. Did you know that in 2006 tUMD had only one win in the second half? That would have been a bad time to start broadcasting. It would have been like becoming a stockbroker on 28 October 1929.

Thanks for stepping in. I know that this is not the circumstances anyone would have wanted, and it’s a tough position to be in, so I just wanted to take a moment to give you a little welcome.

Now, if only you actually read RWD…

Sincerely,

Runninwiththedogs

>Touchdown!

7 December 2008

tUMD 7, Overrated Kittens 4
tUMD 45, California University That Is Not In California, 7
tUMD 4, Stupid Beavers 1

(Okay, I’ve been awake for 20 hours, please forgive the incoherence. But I couldn’t go to sleep without finishing this post.)

Amazing day in Bulldog sports. tUMD’s football team put on a clinic for running backs, tUMD’s women’s hockey beat Bermidji for the googolth time, and then my wonderful boys showed CC what happens when you’re cursed with the #1 ranking pre-season.

This epic battle was fought between two teams that are stronger on Saturdays than Fridays. CC, in fact, was undefeated prior to this evening. Like I told Pates during his live blog (which is super fun! Everyone should joint the party! Except it’s less fun when he doesn’t accept my witty comments!), there’s a first time for everything.

I need some guidance here, some help coloring inside the lines, because of my exhausted delirium, so let’s go through the game chronologically.

Originally, I thought the game was going better than last night’s game. We made it through a minute of play without giving up a goal! That’s always good. I mean, we still gave up a scoring chance but it didn’t cross the goal line, so that’s improvement. However, for most of the 3rd period, CC had tDogs on their heels. And then a homeless person off the street who was inserted into the lineup decided to score a goal. I still thought, okay, fine, no biggie, that’s how we started off last time, down 1-0, still tied, it’s not the end of the world. We killed off a penalty and then killed off a portion another before heading to the locker room (well, I didn’t–I wish!) only down 1-0, which was kind of fortunate. It was kind of an uggo period.

Then the 2nd period started, and tDogs remained on the PK, and Chad Rau, helped by the Traitor and Daddy’s Boy, had one of those just-after-the-power-play goals that sucks to give up but at least it doesn’t hurt the PK stats! That one was kind of tough. I thought maybe CC was going to get out of their little funk and take off. Well, the joke was on me, because 19 seconds later, Justin to Jacky to Jordy and *boom* 2-1. A minute and 26 seconds later, some jerk took a penalty and Justin Fontaine, always the darling, thought “Poor MeanEgirl. She’s been having a really tough time lately. How can I help her out?” and then the puck was in the net again. Monty and Palm assisted. Thanks guys!

The homeless person scored again, assisted by Imitation Connelly and Chad Rau to make it 3-2, and at this point I realized this game was going to be high-scoring. I knew tDogs weren’t out of it but I also believed the Tigers would not go quietly into that good night. Mike “I Might Be Sexy But I’m Uggo Because I Think Kneeing Is Ok” Testwuide took a penalty for, well, duh, and then Ryan Lowery, Public Enemy Number One, flattened poor MacGregor Sharp into the boards and received some lovely parting gifts as he was asked to leave the arena. During the ensuing 5 on 3, Evan “Stop Calling Me Ryan You Illiterate CC Announcer” Oberg scored on assists from Meyers and Fuzzy. Back to even. Sharpy was on the ice for that as well, so he was all right despite getting clobbered by He Who Is About To Die, and then that sneaky Sharpshooter decided he was going to show Richard Bachman who was the man and who was the very little boy, and shot a laser-guided missile into the roof of the net, his sleight of hand fooling all but that wily goal judge, who saw it all the way and lit that lamp like a beacon of hope unto us all. And we had our first lead of the weekend, and our first lead on CC since (pause for me to look it up) we crapped away a 2-0 game in the 3rd period in January 2007.

But they weren’t done! Nick Kemp was all “I’m sick of being On Notice!” and I said “I think so, Nick!” and despite CC’s attempts to hook Sharpy, he got it to Nick and Nick took it to the house. 5 goals in a period. God. Remember when we couldn’t get 5 goals in a weekend? Remember when the 2nd period was a black hole of horrendous defence? Those days are over now!

CC then went back to their locker room and cried like Dude Love when he found out crazytechfan was 16.

I guess Bachman was inconsolable, because to start the 3rd period, Drew O’Connell was in net. I don’t really like him, mostly because his name is just one letter away from this guy who was really horrible to me back when I was in ROTC. Screw him. Drew also gave us our most recent win against CC, also in January 2007, in a game where Josh Meyers got a powerplay goal simply by gaining the red line and dumping the puck in the offensive zone. Jeff McFarland scored the GWG in that game, too, if you can believe it. So, this is a really long way of saying Drew O’Connell is a great big sieve, doo-dah, doo-dah. Jordy Fulton agreed, because he scored about 4 minutes into the period to make it 6-3. Arthur Fonzarelli had the only assist, but I’m sure Jacky was just as helpful in setting up the play. Some dumb loser from CC must have gotten a stick on the puck for a second or two there. Sharpshooter had a penalty and Al took a stab at a goal on a clearing attempt, but it was way wide. Tragic. Daddy’s Boy scored on that power play, assisted by the homeless person and the Traitor. It was their only ppg of the weekend, so I guess they can get a nice little gold star. Kyle Schmidt got in on the scoring as well, getting his 2nd goal of the year and effectively putting the last nail in the coffin for those tigers. I know they are endangered species so I certainly hope Kyle doesn’t get in trouble for poaching. I doubt it, he is one smooth criminal.

I’m tired. There will be more tomorrow. This thing took me forever to write because I’m effectively a zombie. Thanks for the great game, guys! Have a safe trip home! I know you’re going to be dragging your tired butts out of bed in about 2 1/2 hours. Yikes.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season’s total: 5! (WOW!!!!!!!!!!!)
Points until we equal last season’s total: 11! (GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 18!
Jack Connolly: 12!
Michael Gergen: 7
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 13!
Jack Connolly: 12!
David Grun: 0
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0

On Notice:
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Jack Connolly
Cody Danberg
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

>Just The Facts, Ma’am

6 December 2008

>tUMD 1, Floating Tiger Head 1

One free beer at the Curling Club next Friday for the first commenter who correctly identifes the reference of the post title!

I’ve only got The Numbers tonight, as I have two tests tomorrow, one of which might possibly kill me. One annoying thing: when we scored, I didn’t even know it was a goal because they IMMEDIATELY covered up the celebration with Floating Tiger Head. GARBAGE!

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season’s total: 6
Points until we equal last season’s total: 13! (Many chances for the win! Tomorrow night, guys!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 16
Jack Connolly: 11
Michael Gergen: 7!
Rob Bordson: 0 (Shot Blocking King!)

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 12
Jack Connolly: 11
David Grun: 0
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0

On Notice:
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins (Okay sweetie, now get a goal!)
Jack Connolly
Cody Danberg
Evan Oberg
Trent Palm

>Coach’s Comments

6 December 2008

>After last weekend’s series against St. Cloud, Scott Sandelin had quite a few things to say. Perhaps you didn’t pick up on this little tidbit.

“Uh, I’m really happy about our play this weekend. And I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the WCHA for guys to fall in love with tUMD’s sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”

>The End of the Road

5 December 2008

So we’ve all heard by now that Bruce Ciskie is no longer tUMD’s play-by-play announcer, nor is he sports director for the Twin Ports Lame Fascist Jerk Communications Company. Why anyone would want to work for such a company is beyond me, and perhaps they should change their name, but whatever. Also why any company would be so ignorant as to think People Don’t Like Sports is beyond my comprehension, and there are pretty much only two or three other things that are beyond my comprehension: the nature of the universe; why people still have mullets, especially curly mullets; and… well, okay, there’s only those other two. Oh yeah, there was why bad things happen to good people, but I figured that out already.

I didn’t comment sooner because I didn’t really know what to say. If some ignorant, barely upright hicks eliminated my job, you better believe I wouldn’t be telling any of you people; I’d be licking my wounds in private. (I’m flexible.) I think it would be absolute agony if the entire college hockey community knew I’d lost my job. I didn’t want to write about it because I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do or even necessary; Bruce wasn’t afforded the luxury of keeping this to himself. But yet, such is the nature of a career in the public eye, and I am a vulture who will capitalize on anything I can, so here we are. Late, but not never. Later, we shall decide if that’s better or not.

Bruce is my friend and has also been my source of Bulldog trivia and information over the past few years. The first time Bruce commented on my blog was some sort of (in hindsight pathetic) validation for RWD; it also commenced a long-standing campaign of mine for Bruce to 1. sneak me on the bus for road trips 2. get me on the air and 3. tell me what the guys look like shirtless. It was a mutually beneficial partnership, because without my frantic, sweaty text messages, none of you listening in internet radio land would hear any of the games broadcast, because I was always quick to alert him if the Switch of Doom and Destruction had been flipped or not. I imagine if things do not improve I will not live much longer because I will explode if the radio does not work this weekend. I have been stressing about this series since… I guess Saturday as soon as the St. Cloud game ended. Mr. Papas, give me your cell number.

Oh, wait. That’ll never happen, because I doubt this guy even knows that RWD exists. I really want to give him a chance, but it’s just not going to be the same. When Kerry left, he had been the voice of Bulldog hockey for a generation and he definitely left a void not easily filled. (Hello, Kerry, in case you are reading. You rock!) But what Bruce brought to the mic was an entirely different perspective: Kerry was/is a fan; Bruce is a fan geek. He posted on message boards and blogged and nerded out like so many of us out there. So it was kind of like one of us (yes, if you are reading this, you are a fan geek, I’m sorry) out there on the air, telling our dumb USCHO jokes and bringing the sarcasm like only a jaded message board jockey could bring it. So, in other words, Bruce was totally relatable.

There were good times and bad times. We had “AND HERE COME THE TEDDY BEARS!!!!” and then we had the game of Crazy Pepe’s Chug ‘n’ Skate that followed. We had McFarland goals and then the eventual overturning or re-assigning. We had Nisky scoring goals for us and against us. We had Rik and Judd. Or, Judd and Rik, depending on your point of view. And… wasn’t there another guy? I don’t even remember. We had play-off upsets in Denver and we had the triple overtime loss in St. Cloud. It’s been a rough few years, and I can’t think of anyone better to get us through the, um, challenges of the past few seasons than someone who I can commiserate with.

Thanks, among other things, for being a homer, the Player Profile, the Coach’s Show (when it existed, and now I understand its absence), the game-break messages, Email the Booth, myriad near-death experiences on the wintry roads of the Upper Midwest, being weaker than MEg’s mom, the mixed sports metaphors, the Gauntlet, the jabs at the refs, finally answering my request for the audio files, and your unflagging optimism and support for every player on tDogs these past few years, especially the seniors who you have been following since their first days in a Bulldog jersey. And welcome back to the message boards, I guess.

And, because I’m creepy, I’ll dedicate a parting song to you. (When they say “girl” just pretend they’re saying “Bruce.”)

Did anyone else ever wonder if that guy with the cane really needed it, or if it was a prop? Or am I really even more pathetic than previously known?

>RWD Media Guide

1 December 2008

>Can’t figure out who I’m writing about? Here’s a guide to the nicknames.

Arthur Fonzarelli: Justin Fontaine
Bordo: Rob Bordson
Bradylicious: Brady Hjelle
Fonzie: Justin Fontaine
Fuzzy: Mike Connolly
Gergasaurus, Gergzilla, or Gergy: Michael Gergen
Grunner: David Grun
the Hutt: Chad Huttel
Jacky or My Sweet Jacky: Jack Connolly
JCON: Jack Connolly
Kemper the Wrecker: Nick Kemp
MCON: Mike Connolly
MG: Michael Gergen
Monty, Montasaurus: Mike Montgomery
Obi, Obi-Wan or Obi-Wan Kenobi: Evan Oberg
Opie: Brady Hjelle
Peanut Butter Jelly Time: Brady Hjelle
Pre, Prefontaine: Justin Fontaine
Robbio: Rob Bordson
Sexy Brady: Brady Lamb
Schmitty!!!!!!: I certainly hope this one wasn’t hard for you, but Kyle Schmidt
Sharpy, Sharpshooter: MacGregor Sharp
the Sherrif: Andrew Carroll

Runnin' With the Dogs

>Connolly Controversy

>I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It

>What Happens in Duluth…

>Number Munchers

>Postcards from RWD, Vol. 10: In With The New Edition

>Touchdown!

>Just The Facts, Ma’am

>Coach’s Comments

>The End of the Road

>RWD Media Guide

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