>Yesterday
>I know, it was pretty pathetic of me to cop out last night and only post the Numbers. I know you were all dying to hear about my trip to Duluth to see my beloved Bulldogs, and all I gave you was some simple math. You probably thought, Come on, a chimpanzee could have posted that. But come on, people. You know that chimpanzees are too busy posting on this site to bother with a RWD update.
Do you all remember the scene in Wayne’s World where they try to go backstage at Alice Cooper and end up outside talking to Chris Farley about Frankie Sharp’s talent search? Chris Farley says (with hand gestures to show an imaginary U.S. map) “Next stop is St. Louis, then he’s going to come back through Chicago on his way to Detroit.” If you don’t remember that, you haven’t watched one of the GREATEST MOVIES EVER enough times. But anyway, that was sort of how our trip started out. RWD World Headquarters is located in Plymouth (western suburb). Navigational Guru/Duluth Refugee Kleiner lives in a northeastern suburb about 25 miles away. After I swung by to get NG/DR Kleiner (and oohed and aahed over the very cute, very sweet Babykleiner), we were ready to head out. Or so we thought…
As we were leaving the Kleiner Compound, I received an emergency phone call from former Gauntlet Victim/Closet Bulldog Fan Fire Helmet Guy, needing us to rescue him from the ghettos of the northwest suburbs. So Kleiner and I strapped on our bulletproof vests, loaded our AK-47s, and sped across town. After a near-death experience involving a jerk in an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme on 694, we made it. Kleiner provided cover fire while FHG sprinted to my car from a nearby bombed-out building. Fortunately, he has lots of practice from the DECC to Sports Garden run.
After a stopover in the far northern suburbs to pick up our tickets from an Anonymous Donor, and then another stop to feed my hungry car, we were finally on our way. FINALLY.
But! The important part isn’t the journey, it’s the destination. We rolled into Duluth in time to booze it at the Curling Club with some members of tPB. We drank Canadian beer in honor of our Crazy Canuck. Yuck. I think I’ll stick to my Leinie’s Red from now on.
However, if not for Canadians, we would not have won the game. Biggie Mac scored 2 goals (including a sweet power play goal set up by 2 other Canadians) and Mason Raymond had an empty net goal. Jordan Fulton scored just for FHG, as if he was saying “Okposo who?”
Mike Curry was sadly absent from the scoreboard, but he did get in some guy’s face and also told Derek Shepherd what he thought of some call or another. It’s really entertaining to see all the little things he does to get under an opponent’s skin.
The goals per game average has gone up, since tDogs failed to get the required 7 goals last night. Now they have to score 8 1/2 goals each night in Denver. Totally possible!
All right, that’s enough. RWD out.
>Tired
>It’s been a long night, so I’m really not going to do anything except update the numbers and say
WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!
Very exciting indeed. AND a stick salute! Very sexy. Tomorrow I’ll write something hilarious.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 14 (non-conf)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 6 (non-conf)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 24
Michael Gergen: 14!
Mike Curry: 11 (Did not grant my request for him to “PUT IT IN!”)
Matt McKnight: 6
Jason Garrison: 2
Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 8! (Look out, Okposo!)
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1
On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 7
Mike Curry: GD 9 PD 4
Drew Akins: GD 10 PD 7
Andrew Carroll: GD 13 PD 10
Trent Palm: GD 17 PD 17
Ryan Geris: GD 27 PD 17
Travis Gawryletz: GD 28 PD 9
Matt McKnight: GD 5
Matt Greer: GD 5 PD 5
Jeff McFarland: GD 4 PD 4
Josh Meyers: GD 4
Jay Cascalenda: GD 4 PD 4
>Kleiner Is My Co-Pilot
>Hello, comrades. Just a quick note before I get going.
First, I should mention: THERE IS A GAME TODAY. YES, IT IS A WEDNESDAY, AND THERE IS A GAME.
Okay, I think we’re good. Anyway, speaking of journeys, I’m hitting the road in a few hours with the newly appointed RWD Navigational Guru Kleiner (Sorry man, it’s not a paying job). SO STAY OFF THE ROAD, PEOPLE. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. And for my benefit as well, because I will be free to drive 100 mph without all those peons in their Geos driving 50 in the left lane. (Parents, remember to read that as 100 kph. That’s really, really slow. I imagine that’s how slow my Canadian friend drives his Porsche.)
I’ve got a lot to do today (food, oil change, tonsil scraping), so I will have to let you peruse the enemy sites. There are 2 NMU blogs that are about 90000000000% more professional than my site on its best day: Kyle Whitney’s Sports Thoughts – Northern Style and Matt Wellens’s Schizophrenic Blog (dude! Just pick a title and stay with it!). They don’t have TOO much to say about the game YET, but they are coming off a sweep of Bowling Green, who we have also beaten.
I don’t really have too much to say either, so we just need to remember the fundamentals: 7 goals per game, no lazy stick penalties, don’t make me come down there and slap you.
>Postcards from RWD, Vol. 6: Team Edition
>Dear Bulldogs,
It’s me, Runninwiththedogs. You might remember me from such restraining orders as: The One You’re Taking Out On Me Right Now, and The One That Keeps Me From Returning To The Milwaukee Ed Debevic’s. Anyway, we need to talk. You see, we’re approaching a crucial point of the season. The next few games are extremely important, and not just because we need wins like Troy Jutting needs Extreme Makeover. The games are important because I am coming to the next three games.
Yes, that’s right. THREE IN A ROW. And you know what I want to see? THREE WINS. You know what I don’t want to see? The crap from the last three games. I will be travelling 2188 miles in the next few weeks JUST FOR YOU GUYS. I don’t need to see any losses. I can listen to those in the comfort of my own home. It’s safer for everyone that way.
I want to see some GOALS, too. From those of you on notice. From those of you not on notice. From everyone! There are 21 non-goalies on the team. That means 21 goals, or 7 a night, and we’ve scored 7 goals in one night before! We’ve even done it this season. And hey, just because you’re a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t get in on the action. We’re still waiting for Al to get his first goal.
Also, rumor has it there’s a potential recruit in town for the game. That means you should play well, so this guy wants to be on the team. And contrary to what I may have said on tPB, it’s not my job to convince him to go here. We all know I would scare the poor guy away.
I really, really, really want to see some wins live and in person. Please, guys. Show me some love.
Your devoted servant,
RWD
>Hockey Day
>Well, today was Hockey Day Minnesota. What did I do? I worked. So I missed the game. Or, more accurately, I missed all of the games, including the Bulldogs’ game.
All is not lost. I am going to celebrate by snuggling up on the couch with some Kleenex and watching Miracle. I know, I know, you probably thought I didn’t have a heart at all, or that it was black and shriveled. I don’t know where you’d get that idea… Anyway the following list of movie genres will make me cry like a little girl:
1. Hockey movies (but not Slap Shot)
2. Baseball movies (but not Major League)
3. Movies where animals die (i.e. Old Yeller) or almost die (The Incredible Journey)
So there you go. HOWEVER, games like FRIDAY NIGHT just make me ANGRY. VERY UNCOOL, GUYS. VERY UNCOOL. That’s all I have to say about that.
Saturday, we played better. CLEARLY. Since we got FIVE GOALS, which we rarely get even against bad teams. Very awesome. Also, SUPERB power play on Saturday, and NOT BAD on the PK either. I guess we need Gors on there MORE OFTEN. (See, Crazy Canuck, the PR machine is working. Also, don’t forget to vote for Gors as Cutest Baby!) Mason Raymond = 5 Assists = AWESOME. Bryan MacGregor = 4 Points = HOTTTT. MacGregor Sharp = 3 points = ALSO HOTTT.
(And, DAN KRONICK = 1 POINT. Good job, guys!)
No Gauntlet this week, since the next game is on Wednesday, and I SHALL BE THERE. HUZZAH!
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 14 (barf)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 6 (more barf)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 24! (Also, nearly ripped Nodl’s head off!)
Michael Gergen: 13! (Off notice!)
Mike Curry: 11
Matt McKnight: 6 (Mysteriously missing from the lineup…)
Jason Garrison: 2
Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 7
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2 (Yeah! PK!)
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1
On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 6 PD 4
Mike Curry: GD 8
Drew Akins: GD 9 PD 6
Andrew Carroll: GD 12 PD 9
Trent Palm: GD 16 PD 16
Jordan Fulton: GD 25 PD 5
Ryan Geris: GD 26 PD 16
Travis Gawryletz: GD 27 PD 8
Matt McKnight: GD 4
Matt Greer: GD 4 PD 4
>The Gauntlet: Dirty Old Man Edition
>
RWD: You were suggested for this interview by MeanEGirl, since I didn’t know any St. Cloud fans worth knowing. She said you are the only St. Cloud fan who “gets it.” What does that mean, and why doesn’t anyone else “get it?”
RWD: I heard there you are susceptible to Stearns County Syndrome. What is that? Is it catching?
>What’s Coming To You
>
>You’re On Notice!
>All right, guys, we’ve got to go on a second half run here. I know you can do it, I of course have ultimate confidence in your abilities to go undefeated in the rest of your games. Then we’ll be chanting “Seven More Wins!” at Patrick McGovern’s on March 15th, just like we did last year.
We can’t do anything without some goal scoring. Mason Raymond is, obviously, a scoring machine. Mason Raymond does not sleep. He waits. My Guys have all being doing a pretty good job of getting on the board, predominantly with assists. Assists are great, because you can’t have an assist without a goal. But we can’t rely on the status quo to keep us going. Someone’s gotta step up.
The Numbers is going to have a new feature. It’s called the Scoring Drought. Anyone who has a scoring drought of 4 or more games is on the list. Haven’t gotten a goal in awhile? You’re on the board. Haven’t gotten an goal OR an assist in awhile? Better get a goal. Scoring every game? Keep it up. Don’t play regularly? You’re safe. It ain’t your fault. We know you’d score a hatty each game if only given the chance. GD = goal drought. PD = point drought.
Scoring Drought
Nick Kemp: GD 4
Mike Curry (see? RWD does not play favorites here): GD 6
Drew Akins: GD 7 PD 4
Michael Gergen: GD 10
Andrew Carroll: GD 10 PD 7
Trent Palm: GD 14 PD 14
Jordan Fulton: GD 23
Ryan Geris: GD 24 PD 14
Travis Gawryletz: GD 25 PD 6
Okay, it’s not that hard. If everyone on the list here scored a goal this weekend, we’d for sure beat St. Cloud. Which we’ll be doing anyway.
>A Hard Luck Story
>There’s no denying that Friday night’s win had a certain amount of luck to it. Definitely some skill, hard work, and grit, too, I’m not trying to discount that, but you just don’t score an unassisted goal from center ice on skill. Unless you are a robot, and if so, what kind of powers do you have? Do you use them for good, or for awesome? Would you like to join forces? I just happen to be the greatest criminal mind of our time.
Okay, I got off track there. So, Friday night, RWD staffers had a meeting via the internet. Present were: RWD Ace Reporter and Prognosticater, DA; RWD East Coast Correspondent, H; and, of course, the lovely, brilliant, one and only RWD. UMDDogz is in the center of the continent, probably for a meeting of some sort of Unabomber-worshipping fringe group; Gramps was probably asleep. At the end of the game, after a few moments of jubilation, we discussed Saturday. DA asked who was going to be around, and everyone said they would be. In a wise moment, I cautioned everyone not to change their clothes. Because, everyone knows when you’re on a winning streak, you don’t change anything. You hold your breath, you cautiously avoid any words like “sweep” or “shutout”, and you wear those lucky socks until the streak ends.
Fast forward to Saturday. I’m there, in my totally sweet Norm Maciver throwback (same as last night), DA is back, measuring drapes, UMDDogz is still plotting against the government, Gramps is still sleeping… BUT. NO H.
I think we can extrapolate from here what happened. The universe shifted. The ‘Dogs, who were winning 2-0 through 2 periods, gave away 4 straight (incl. an empty netter). The PK had been perfect through 2, but CC’s PP scored 2 of 3 in the 3rd. Mason Raymond scored 2 goals, each assisted by Biggie Mac and a RWD Guy, then got briefly injured, but returned to the game, only to finish a -1 on the night! CC finished with twice the power play opportunities (but, notice, no coaches tried to kill any referees… the players were taking care of dumping Anderson ON the ice), including on that essentially put the Tigers on the PP for nearly the rest of the game (although they scored a little over a minute into that PP, so they didn’t have the full 2 minutes). UMD pulled Stalock, but couldn’t get organized, and after only 10 seconds, gave up the empty netter with 59 seconds remaining.
I’m not particularly happy with how the game turned out last night, BUT we can do two things: hang our heads and cry, or go out and slaughter some Huskies.
PUMP IT UP FOR NEXT WEEKEND!!! DAN KRONICK, 0 POINTS!
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 14 (So, no need for the brooms)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 6 (Totally achievable!)
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 23!
Michael Gergen: 12
Mike Curry: 11
Matt McKnight: 6!
Jason Garrison: 2
Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 7
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2 (actually in the lineup!)
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1 (actually in the lineup!)
>Smooth Criminal
>CC are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay CC?
Mason Raymond is one smooth criminal.
We rule. 4 game winning streak. Down 2-0 early, battling back. Cascalenda scores his first goal as a Bulldog. McFarland gets the game winner (from CURRY!) JOSH MEYERS SCORES FROM CENTER FREAKING ICE. CENTER ICE.
Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 14!
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year’s Total: 6!
My “Guys” Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 22
Michael Gergen: 12! (Sets up the awesome first Bulldog goal of Jay Cascalenda!)
Mike Curry: 11! (TOTALLY AWESOME G-W ASSIST)
Matt McKnight: 5
Jason Garrison: 2 (Get well soon!)
Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 7
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1
Runnin' With the Dogs 