Skip to content


20 November 2014

Comrades, tomorrow is the beginning of the Second Annual From Top Shelf To Food Shelf online food drive. Please pledge if you can! Here’s what folks have pledged so far:

Me: $5 per tUMD men’s or women’s goal
Biddy: $20 + a jar of peanut butter for every Sammy Spurrell goal
SouthTexGopher: $10 per UMTC goal
Neil: $10 per SCSU goal, $15 per shorty, $25 per shutout
Nicole of Bucky’s 5th Quarter: $5 per UW goal
Andy: $5 per MSU-M goal or Swansea goal
Susie: $5 per UNO goal
RedArmy: $5 per UNO goal
Jeremy: $5 per SCSU goal

Right now SCSU goals are the MOST valuable (well, technically SCSU shutouts and Sammy Spurrell goals are), but I’ll keep updating as pledges come in.

Silent Streak

17 November 2014

tUMD 6, SCSU 1/tUMD 1, SCSU 0

It’s been awhile since I’ve given a good, solid recap of a tUMD women’s game. This sucks, because they’ve won SEVEN GAMES IN A ROW. They’ve swept SCSU, Mankato, and Lindenwood, and beat North Dakota after losing in OT the night before, and before THAT, they tied UMTC. That’s a pretty solid streak! It’s their longest winning streak since 2010-11, the year following their last title. With Cornell on the horizon this weekend, it looks like that streak’s going to continue! I plan on attending Saturday’s game, since Friday’s is like 17 minutes after I get out of class.

tUMD is looking like a solid contender for 3rd place in the WCHA right now. Minnesota and Wisconsin are charging ahead, but North Dakota is really struggling, and were swept by Bemidji this past weekend. tUMD has 2 women (Brykaliuk and McParland) in the top 10 WCHA scorers (and you might be surprised that, while the top 2 are Gophers, the other top 6 are Badgers, looks like the Goofs are relying a bit much on Dani Traitoranesi and Hannah Brandt), and has the top 3 non-Goof/BADger scorers (Brykaliuk, McParland, and Mrazova).

This weekend, tDogs will be extra motivated to score goals thanks to the From Top Shelf To Food Shelf fundraiser! I’m so excited to make it rain on the Northern Lakes Food Bank after tUMD scores like 10 goals a night against the Ivy League Snobs. Cornell doesn’t stand a chance. Don’t they know tUMD is the Harvard of the Midwest?

Dad Rage

16 November 2014


So, is Mike Brodzinski the next Bruce Raboin? Look, Mr. Brodzy, maybe if your son wasn’t scared of getting hit, then he wouldn’t have put himself in a vulnerable position by attemping to flee the scene. I am sure Tom Chorske would be happy to listen to your nonsensical complaints about our players.

Hockey dads, AMIRITE?

Sixty Minute Men

16 November 2014

tUMD 3, Golden Chokers 0/tUMD 2, Golden Chokers 1

So that’s what happens when this team gives 60 minutes of solid effort. They win.

What an enjoyable weekend it was! And since I’m not above schadenfreude, it was made even sweeter by 1. This guy in front of me who just sat there the whole game with a mad face on, even when the Gophers scored! 2. This kid who was taunting multiple Gopher fans. You can’t win with a kid. Because even if you win, you beat a kid. This is the only time that is acceptable.

3. Reading the reactions on the Interwebs Friday and Saturday night. It was interesting to see the tone change from Friday to Saturday post-game. Goofie fans started out giving tUMD a few headpats so as not to tempt fate, but were fairly certain they would sweep, because they have the MOST TALENTED PLAYERZ EVAR ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!! Friday post-game, most fans attempted to compliment tDogs by saying things like “Kudos to tDogs for being ready to play, the Gophers weren’t,” which is not actually a compliment. I kept waiting for someone to say “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” Well, talent also beats talent. Mind-blowing, I know. It was pretty obvious Goof fans thought they would come up with a split and that’s why they felt comfortable throwing us a bone, so to speak. After Saturday’s game, of course, we were the dirtiest bunch of cheating divers to ever put on a scuba suit. Well, whatever helps you sleep at night, people.

The Dogs played better on Friday than they did on Saturday, which was an interesting switcharoo. On Friday tDogs were just dominating in all facets of the game, disciplined, making great passes and plays and working their butts off. No passengers on this train! In the past, tDogs haven’t been built for Olympic ice, but with all the speed they have, plus the experience in St. Cloud last week, they made the comically oversized rink work to their benefit. They protected the puck and cleared the zone well, and just frustrated the Gophers all over the ice.

Saturday started off great. I was nervous, of course, because I am always nervous. We got to the rink exceptionally early, and by puck drop I’d already crushed 3 of my thundersticks. I had some backup sets so the folks around me were never without the obnoxious sound of inflated plastic cylinders thumping together axially. The student section was packed and the pre-game video was fantastic. I’ll post it once it’s online, which I’m told will be Monday. tDogs scored 28 seconds into the game, and then scored on the PP with just under 3 minutes to go in the first, which was the end of the scoring for tUMD. It was so loud in the arena when the Dogs scored that I couldn’t even hear the band playing the rouser. To end the first and start the second, tDogs had to kill a “kneeing” major. tDogs got their own 5 minute PP in the second, but couldn’t get anything going. The Goofs finally got a goal in the 3rd after a player fell down, but I couldn’t even hear the spelling bee. What a change from years past, when the arena would be half-filled with Mariucci season ticket holder rejects. The end of the game was intense, with the Gophers finally able to put on a little pressure, but Kaskisuo just kept making saves and the skaters just kept making plays. The crowd was absolutely fired up, even through the Gophers’s timeout and the long farting around as they sorted out penalties with just a few seconds on the clock. (And then the Gopher fans whined about clock management. Apparently they thought they would have won the game if there had only been 6 seconds left when the penalties were called, rather than 3.)

Two shutouts would have been really nice, but I guess we can’t have everything. A shutout at Mariucci and a sweep of the Gophers? I don’t care if it’s November (did you know that celebrating wins in November is like, so lame?), I’m going to relish this.

Second Annual From Top Shelf To Food Shelf

14 November 2014

Let me gather your attention while both Bulldogs teams are red hot, and remind you that next weekend (Nov 21-23) is the Second Annual From Top Shelf to Food Shelf pledge weekend.

Last year‘s e-food drive brought in $543, 10 cans of soup, and a jar of peanut butter. I would love to double that this year.

My pledge this year is $5 per tUMD hockey goal. The men play UNO and the women play Cornell. My money will again go to the Second Harvest Northern Lakes Food Bank.

How does it work? It’s very simple.

1. Choose a hunger-related cause in your community, or that is meaningful to you.

2. Make a pledge related to your favorite college hockey team. Or pro hockey team. Or pee-wee team. Or even a Premier League football team, as one comrade has already decided. Pledges could be $ per goal, $ per save, or could be more creative. You could also just give a flat fee. It doesn’t even have to be money, it can be food items as well.

3. Tell me that pledge. I will keep track on RWD and on a spreadsheet. If you would like to participate anonymously (to everyone other than me), I will respect that.

4. Encourage others to participate. Share this link on Twitter (#FromTopShelfToFoodShelf), forums, Facebook, bathroom stalls at the Sports Garden, anywhere.

5. Make your donation directly to the organization of your choice. I do not collect the money and this is 100% on the honor system. I will tell you right now that if you make a fake pledge, you are the scum of the earth.

Thank you! I can’t wait to see the pledges start to roll in!

Bull Dogham

13 November 2014


Party Like It’s 1999

11 November 2014

tUMD 3, Meth Heads 2 (OT)/tUMD 3, Meth Heads 1
tUMD women off, stupid Canada wins Four Nations Cup

With a sweep of St. Cloud all things are possible.

If tUMD can sweep in St. Cloud, they can surely win a national championship.
If tUMD can sweep in St. Cloud, I can surely get a good grade on this project I’m avoiding by writing this post.
If tUMD can sweep in St. Cloud, Lockheed Martin can surely make a commercially viable fusion reactor.
If tUMD can sweep in St. Cloud, we can precisely know the position and momentum of a particle simultaneously.
If tUMD can sweep in St. Cloud, Israelis and Palestinians can live in peace with a mutually agreeable solution.

I would post a YouTube video of 1999 but Prince is kind of a nutjob about letting people listen to his music for free. 1999 was the last time tUMD swept in St. Cloud. It makes no sense. Fortunately, there’s no Finnish translation for “tUMD is cursed in St. Cloud,” so Kas didn’t even know about the hex and blithely went about his business, making save after save, helped out a bit by the butt of Karson Kuhlman (making Saturday’s game perhaps the first game ever where a butt both scored a goal and saved a goal for tUMD), and we sweep sweep sweepity swept those Huskies!

Shouldn’t a sweep in hockey be called a “shovel?” Or something similarly winterrific?

Also remember when it was actually 1999 and we panicked over Y2K? Well, I didn’t panic, I was 17 and spent New Year’s Eve watching Labyrinth with 2 of my friends.

tDogs’s effort out of the gate on Friday night only proved there’s absolutely no reason they’ve been terrible on other Fridays, with the exception of maybe the first weekend when they were still trying to remember how to play hockey after the long layoff. They’ve been capable of playing at that level for weeks now and I don’t know why they hadn’t been. But no more! We shall be treated to sweep after sweep now that the guys have it figured out. Granted, they didn’t sustain the Friday effort for the whole game and let SCCC back in the game, but, baby steps. Also, I would like to point out that even that level of effort would have won them every other Friday game they’ve played this year.

Perhaps tDogs have discovered the true meaning of #KrauseStrong?


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.