tUMD 2, Bad Boyz 4/tUMD 1, Bad Boyz 5
tUMD 5, BU 6/tUMD 2, BU 4 (the less said about the second game against Russia, the better)
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Hello, comrades. What a strange week it has been! It snowed a lot, which we all know, unless living underground in a secret nuclear fallout shelter.
I mention the snow, not because it’s noteworthy, but because it’s relevant to the whole weekend. For you see, I live on a street which is not plowed in a timely fashion. So, Tuesday, I missed classes (street not plowed). Wednesday, classes were cancelled. Thursday, I missed classes (street not re-plowed). Friday, I got plowed in, spent an hour shoveling, waited for the bus in double-digit-below temperatures, attended some of my classes, and then took the bus back home to shovel some more, because it had been six weeks since I’d seen a Bulldog hockey game and I wasn’t going to miss it. I moved a lot of snow through my sheer determination, but time was working against me, and I decided I’d cleared enough to wedge my way out of my driveway.
For the first time ever, I was wrong. Well, technically not wrong. I probably COULD have gotten out of the driveway, had someone been standing behind my car directing me how to back out, but instead, I got my front tires buried and was completely blocking the street. I dug desperately at the snow and ice underneath my car and surrounding my tires, but I couldn’t get it going. And of course cars were seeing me, backing up, and probably cursing my name to the heavens as they found another way to wherever they were going.
FINALLY, three women stopped their car, helped me dig out, pushed my car, and got me back into the driveway. My heart grew three sizes that day.
So, I feel compelled to do good deeds. I hope you do too. First up on my list is a donation to Northern Lakes Food Bank, coming on payday. $5 per Bulldog goal this weekend, both teams combined. I’ll do another post to remind everyone of this. If you can join me in making any kind of similar pledge, even if it’s $1 or 1 can of soup, please do.
Back on topic: I finished digging my car out and made it to the game, frozen solid, by the beginning of the second period. I was pretty pumped! Even though they were out of porketta dogs. I had a wild rice brat instead, which has a better bun. Justin Crandall scored a PPG and all was right in the world.
Two absolutely hideous breakdowns in sanity led to two completely unnecessary St. Cloud goals. I feel massive amounts of secondhand embarrassment and shame for the two players who had these breakdowns in sanity… and firsthand embarrassment and shame for myself for what happened the next night.
Saturday, because I hadn’t frozen myself enough, I went to Bentleyville with my family. It was cold. But, dinosaurs! And also Count von Count. It is really pretty there, and I might go again if it is warmer, so I can roast some marshmallows.
And then the embarrassment and shame. Did ANYTHING good happen in Saturday’s game? Did ANYTHING good happen on Saturday at all? tUMD men got swept, tUMD women got swept, tUMD volleyball lost in the playoffs to the hated Concordia. Somehow Biddco managed to praise this weekend, and he had it worse than I did, because he had to spend the weekend with St. Cloud fans. Yargh.
We waited six weeks, SIX WEEKS, between home games, and we come back and get this garbage? Unpleasant, to say the least. Disappointing. Unacceptable.
This upcoming series is a must-sweep, I am going to have to say for both teams. For the men, it’s not because of any future implications, because I don’t have sky high expectations for this season, but because last weekend was such a disappointment. For the women, because I do have somewhat high expectations for the team. Come on folks, I know you’re better than that. Guys, take out all the frustration you had better be feeling on Western Michigan. Women, do what the men couldn’t do and take out the Huskies. Score in bunches, in torrents, in blitzkriegs. And if you don’t score? PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GO HUNGRY! How’s that for motivation?
tUMD 3, Buttmidji 0/tUMD 0, Buttmidji 1
tUMD 1, Kid Brother 6/tUMD 6, Kid Brother 2
On Fridays games, I have very little comment. For the women’s game, I simply missed it because I was working. There are only so many ways to say Kayla Black is amazing. The Stauber-Morin defensive pairing is fantastic. Emma had a shorthanded goal.
For the men’s game, pretend I just vomited on this page. I have no interest in hearing that it “didn’t feel like a 6-1 game.” IT WAS A 6-1 GAME. SHUT UP. I DON’T CARE IF GOOD THINGS WERE DONE. I HAD TO MENTALLY ROOT FOR WISCONSIN IN FOOTBALL SO THAT GOPHER FANS WOULD NOT REACH A NEW LEVEL OF INSUFFERABILITY. DID YOU READ THAT? I HAD TO ROOT FOR WISCONSIN. Didn’t feel like a 6-1 game, my butt. I know everyone gets up for the Bulldogs because we’re a powerhouse and it’s a big deal to beat us, but come on, we gotta be ready for that.
Saturday, I was SO hoping for tUMD to get a sweep and to get back to their winning ways. Instead Buttmidji scored a dagger with 15 seconds left, for the only goal of the game. Pretend I vomited on the page again.
Today I watched the game! That’s right, I was able to enjoy, from start to finish, a Bulldog hockey game! And by enjoy, I do mean enjoy! Although I was at times confused and thought I was watching some sort of diving match starring Kyle Rau, Hudson Fasching, and I think Justin Kloos but I’m not sure. All those baby rodents are the same soft little doughboys. I mean, an All-Star diving match for those guys against Robbie Earl, Ryan Lasch, JP Lamoureux and… well, Kyle Rau would have been a hotly contested, neck-and-neck event.
Killing a 5×3 seems to be the key to winning games, but I’m not going to recommend we go out of our way to seek out those situations. But tUMD’s first goal came just as we got one player back. Basaraba jumped into the play and he and Dom Toninato combined for a beauty of a goal. Dom has some serious skill… and you realize that also means he was out in a critical penalty-killing role, right? Parise, this team is going to be a force in a few years’s time, with all the experience the freshmen are getting in key roles. Tony Cameranesi scored the only even strength goal of the night. Wouldn’t it be nice if Dani had made the smart choice and chosen tUMD as well? I hope she cheered for her brother tonight. tUMD got their own 5×3 later on, when the Goofies took 2 penalties 3 seconds apart. They never showed what the second penalty was for, but who cares? Justin Crandall scored like 6 seconds later. The Goofies got 2 more power plays and failed hard on both of them. And then the game ended. No, wait. That was the first period.
The Goofs finally scored on the 800th power play they were given, and it was cute how they thought they were in the game. So sweet. tUMD continued their power play goal bonanza with goals from Austin Farley (who did a jersey pop, which made the Gopher fans clutch their pearls and moan about classlessness, then immediately rationalize Wheeler’s jersey pop, in a glorious display of cognitive dissonance) and Kyle Osterberg. Poor Man’s Stalock got the hook, Ben Marshall (one of the most generic Gopher players ever, so forgettable, just like Sam Warning. I actually sometimes think there’s just one Ben Warning, because these guys are so unremarkable) ran McNeely and paid for it with an ejection (which NotFrank called a “game disqualification,” which is so annoying. That is a different, and more severe penalty, and Captain Hair Dye should know that), though he managed to get A&Dubs ejected too. tUMD still got a PP out of it, which carried over into the third period, and Justin Crandall got another goal.
The Goof Troop got a power play goal in the third on a gift of a PP (as most of them were), and it was again adorable how they celebrated it like it was actually meaningful in the game. But, I get it. It’s a big deal to score against Big Brother, so not-Jonny Brodzinski should probably keep that puck and sleep with it under his pillow.
And now next week the men have a bye, which made me VERY ANGRY. I am SICK of missing out on hockey. They will be back in action at AMSoil Arena the weekend after, if they and we can remember where AMSoil Arena is. The women play Team Commie on Tuesday, but I work and can’t go, and then they play Wisconsin on Friday and Saturday. I hope to attend Friday night, but I can’t be sure I’ll have recovered from the jacked up work schedule I have Friday. (Midnight to 11 am. I will probably keel over.) I NEED SOME HOCKEY.
Sorry. It’s been awhile. I’ve been working hard! Both at school and… um, work. Which is the real problem, since I’ve been missing a lot of the games.
You can read my usual TDG Diatribe here. I do love that I am asked back for these Q and As simply to troll the readers of the blog. I am not sure if anyone on the Gophers’s end gives a crap about these games since their football team has won a few games. So cute! Here in the Northland, hockey is #1, and we don’t put it on Sundays. So sad for our little sister school.
So, I really hope to get back into recapping. Breaks in blogging from time to time are good because I’m not just regurgitating the same tired old tropes everyone else is writing. Unfortunately, I really feel disconnected from the game right now, and that sucks. Here I am, living in Duluth, and I’m not writing furiously like never before? (I mean, I am furious at time, but not in that same sense.) I guess Twitter has made me lazy. And no home games in FOREVER. That is super annoying.
Ok, that was just a quick check-in, I’ve got nothing else for you right now. I hope I’ll be recapping a big sweepity sweep on Sunday!
53 wins is enough. Let’s do this, Bulldogs.
*Why yes, I am fully aware of the irony here. Apparently only men are allowed to be motivational on YouTube.
So, this weekend, tUMD women host the UMTC women. The Gophers have not lost since February 17, 2012. This has to stop. Friday, it has to stop.
It’s not going to be an easy task, I’ll grant you that. Our games against the Gophers last year weren’t the best, although we did do something most teams couldn’t do: we actually led in one of the games. After a disappointing weekend in Grand Forks, I think our women are primed to work out some of that frustration on the unsuspecting Gophers, and I think they have as good a shot as any to take the Gophers down.
I’m going on Friday, and due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m going to the game by myself. (I am working on Saturday.) I don’t really want to go to the game by myself. So, here’s the deal: I will buy your ticket to Friday’s game. Sit with me, cheer with me, support our Bulldogs, all for free! With the added bonus of being at a hockey game with me! Because who doesn’t want that?! (Note: this isn’t compensated by tUMD athletics or by any sponsor, this is just me not wanting to sit alone at a hockey game, and also hoping to drum up some additional support for the team.)
Don’t roll your eyes at me, don’t scoff at women’s hockey for being “slow” or for not being physical enough. Just come to the game with me, with an open mind, and have some fun.
Also, if you already purchased a ticket to the game, are a student and get in free, or are just uncomfortable taking a free ticket for some unfathomable reason, I still would like to sit with someone at the game.
So, shoot me an email (runwiththedogs at hotmail dot com) or a tweet or a carrier pigeon and take me up on my offer!
tUMD 2, WCHA Proles 1/tUMD 1, WCHA Proles 1
tUMD 3, Formerly Racist Mascots 4/tUMD 3, Formerly Racist Mascots 3
Hello, the shoot-out is a problem.
Glad I got that out in the open. It was the Bryant McKinnie in the room. Supposedly Duluth drinking water is the best in Minnesota, but perhaps there’s something in the water that affects hand-eye coordination, or one-on-one saveability, or something that would explain why neither of our beloved hockey teams can win a freaking shootout. Or score a goal in a shootout. Really. It’s a massive disaster.
tUMD women were in Grand Forks this weekend, and I was really hoping they’d get wins 351 and 352 in order for Minister of Truth Brad Schlossman to whine some more about how tUMD is trolling the NCAA or something. Unfortunately in both games tUMD was leading, only to let the games slip away. They will be back home against the Gophers, who still haven’t lost, and I think it’s about time that streak comes to an end. Especially since the faux-fascination with the Gopher women has ended, now that their mediocre men’s team and disastrous football team are playing again. Thanks for providing your fans with a little vignette of victory before they abandoned you for the teams about whom they actually care, Gopher women. Sorry your fans are such jerks, but now you know what the rest of us already knew.
tUMD men hosted Michigan Tech in their first games in separate conferences in almost half a century. These games will not go down in the annals of history as good, skilled, entertaining, up-tempo hockey games. Both games saw tUMD struggle to score once, then let Tech back into the game late. On Friday, the Dogs were able to strike again and seal the deal, but Saturday, even with an overtime power play, tDogs couldn’t bring home the sweep. Dom Toninato was lost halfway through the game to some sort of assuredly bogus penalty (which I didn’t even remotely see, but have I ever let that get in the way?) and the Dogs did kill that penalty, as well as all Michigan Tech penalties, masterfully. The only special teams problems were the SHG from Tech on Friday (as a result of Tech going from two players in the box to one, just as the puck went by the penalty box) and the inability to convert on the two-man advantage. tDogs did get one PPG this weekend, so at least the special teams net was even.
Sorry for the lateness of this recap, as well as the condensedness of it, but you can blame that on Biddco. Why? Because.
tUMD 7, Loserwolves 1 (Shootout: tUMD 0, Loserwolves 1)
Well, a lot happened today.
First, I had a test. I know no one cares, but still. I also have 4 more tests this week, which is kind of insane, and yet I am so dedicated to all you comrades and to tDogs that I went to the game and am somehow typing some gibberish recap while mostly on autopilot.
Then, tUMD unveiled their new jersey. I went to this unveiling, because it was on campus and I was interested. I didn’t even realize that I could have peeked and seen them earlier since the mannequins in the bookstore were already set up, just covered. I assumed they were displaying black ponchos for the football games.
Speaking of mannequins. While I was sitting waiting for the thing to begin, I was watching people set it up, and they dragged the mannequins out of the store into the “bus hub.” The “bus hub” btw is just that open space outside the bookstore and the burger place. I wish I had taken a picture, because this whole plastic creepy child mannequin covered in a black plastic tarp, as well as two headless adult mannequins also wrapped in black plastic, was more “American Psycho re-enactment” than “jersey unveiling.” I didn’t take a picture because the glass covering the lens of my camera phone is cracked and so it takes terrible photos, plus I was sort of lurking so no one would notice me.
Justin Crandall, Austin Farley, Josh Berlo, Lisa Erwin (Vice Chancellor for Student Life), and the Penalty Box student leaders were all on hand as Champ performed a little “Magic Mike”/Women of the WWE stripping of his jacket to reveal the new jersey.
Here is a picture of the new jerseys and also the creepy child mannequin.
I stole this picture from Zach Schneider’s Twitter account.
Of course, if you went to the game tonight, which I also did despite being barely conscious, you didn’t see this jersey, you saw the regular maroon one. So strange. Maybe Lakehead only had one clean jersey or something.
So the hockey game! Yes! I went! By myself! And when I say “by myself,” I mean there were 2 other people in my row and they were sitting at the other end. It was a little sad.
It’s really not that much fun to sit alone at a half-full hockey game. Especially when you are studying for your circuits test during intermission. Which I really was, there are witnesses. I am cool.
Don’t worry, I didn’t miss a minute of the action.
Something really weird happened during intros that wasn’t exactly clear. All of the Underwolves were on the bench except their starters. THIS IS AMERICA. WE LINE UP ON THE GOAL LINE.
Tony Cameranesi didn’t play due to a lower body injury, but he should play on Friday, according to my sources, which are just tweets.
tUMD scored early, 5 seconds after the end of a power play, on a goal from freshman Carson Soucy, assisted by Kyle Osterberg and Justin Crandall. I was confused and thought Justin Crandall had scored the goal, but I am terrible at that stuff. It didn’t matter because he scored the next one, with another assist from Ostie (which is a swear word in Quebec) and one from A&Dubs (Andy Welinski. I just coined that nickname. I hope it catches on.) In the final minute of the period there were some hijinks and somehow we came out with the PK. When does that ever happen in a game against terrible Canadians?? So confused. Oh, the
Seawolves (oops, they’re terrible like UAA so I got confused) Thunderwolves nearly had an own goal whilst on the power play. That would have been a high point in interleague play for me.
The second period was not the best period of hockey ever played. And not just because one terrible team was playing, tUMD wasn’t exactly setting the world on fire. The Stinkerwolves scored a PPG (which we failed to do in 6 attempts, ugh) and I was afraid we might turn into a Denver or a Michigan. Kyle Osterberg, Hustler, was not going to let that happen and scored a goal to quiet our fears, assisted by Sammy Spurrell. We also hurt their goalie and he had to come out of the game.
In the third, Joe Basaraba scored 40 seconds in. Lakehead coughed up the puck and Joe took a shot that went between two defenders and beat the goalie. Holy snipes! He seems to have been fitted with some kind of bionic implant, with that kind of accuracy. Max Tardy (I know, right?!) and A&Dubs assisted. Hometown boy Dom Toninato scored 50 seconds later (from Iafallo and Herbert), Austin Farley dangled, sniped, and cellied (assisted by Max Tardy [I know, right?!] and Dan Molenaar), then Dom scored again, and then he almost got a hat trick but didn’t. That was the scoring summary.
These freshmen are for real, you guys. I mean, I know Lakehead is terrible and we can’t really judge, perhaps we could watch them play a pee-wee team to get a better idea, but still. They’re good. And I’d bet we get most if not all of them for 4 years.
The less said about the shootout, the better. Let’s just win in regulation, k? We also need to work on the Zamming for the shootout. They did about 75% of the ice. YOU NEED LIKE A LANDING STRIP, THAT IS ALL, FFS. Some of us only paid for 3 hours of parking at the lot in Canal Park that used to be free after mid-October but now probably won’t be, thanks to automated payboxes.
And the best part? I got home in like 10 minutes. I love living here.