Runnin' With the Dogs

tUMD 3, Golden Chokers 0/tUMD 2, Golden Chokers 1

So that’s what happens when this team gives 60 minutes of solid effort. They win.

What an enjoyable weekend it was! And since I’m not above schadenfreude, it was made even sweeter by 1. This guy in front of me who just sat there the whole game with a mad face on, even when the Gophers scored! 2. This kid who was taunting multiple Gopher fans. You can’t win with a kid. Because even if you win, you beat a kid. This is the only time that is acceptable.

3. Reading the reactions on the Interwebs Friday and Saturday night. It was interesting to see the tone change from Friday to Saturday post-game. Goofie fans started out giving tUMD a few headpats so as not to tempt fate, but were fairly certain they would sweep, because they have the MOST TALENTED PLAYERZ EVAR ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!! Friday post-game, most fans attempted to compliment tDogs by saying things like “Kudos to tDogs for being ready to play, the Gophers weren’t,” which is not actually a compliment. I kept waiting for someone to say “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” Well, talent also beats talent. Mind-blowing, I know. It was pretty obvious Goof fans thought they would come up with a split and that’s why they felt comfortable throwing us a bone, so to speak. After Saturday’s game, of course, we were the dirtiest bunch of cheating divers to ever put on a scuba suit. Well, whatever helps you sleep at night, people.

The Dogs played better on Friday than they did on Saturday, which was an interesting switcharoo. On Friday tDogs were just dominating in all facets of the game, disciplined, making great passes and plays and working their butts off. No passengers on this train! In the past, tDogs haven’t been built for Olympic ice, but with all the speed they have, plus the experience in St. Cloud last week, they made the comically oversized rink work to their benefit. They protected the puck and cleared the zone well, and just frustrated the Gophers all over the ice.

Saturday started off great. I was nervous, of course, because I am always nervous. We got to the rink exceptionally early, and by puck drop I’d already crushed 3 of my thundersticks. I had some backup sets so the folks around me were never without the obnoxious sound of inflated plastic cylinders thumping together axially. The student section was packed and the pre-game video was fantastic. I’ll post it once it’s online, which I’m told will be Monday. tDogs scored 28 seconds into the game, and then scored on the PP with just under 3 minutes to go in the first, which was the end of the scoring for tUMD. It was so loud in the arena when the Dogs scored that I couldn’t even hear the band playing the rouser. To end the first and start the second, tDogs had to kill a “kneeing” major. tDogs got their own 5 minute PP in the second, but couldn’t get anything going. The Goofs finally got a goal in the 3rd after a player fell down, but I couldn’t even hear the spelling bee. What a change from years past, when the arena would be half-filled with Mariucci season ticket holder rejects. The end of the game was intense, with the Gophers finally able to put on a little pressure, but Kaskisuo just kept making saves and the skaters just kept making plays. The crowd was absolutely fired up, even through the Gophers’s timeout and the long farting around as they sorted out penalties with just a few seconds on the clock. (And then the Gopher fans whined about clock management. Apparently they thought they would have won the game if there had only been 6 seconds left when the penalties were called, rather than 3.)

Two shutouts would have been really nice, but I guess we can’t have everything. A shutout at Mariucci and a sweep of the Gophers? I don’t care if it’s November (did you know that celebrating wins in November is like, so lame?), I’m going to relish this.

We have to talk about this, I suppose.

Oh who am I kidding OF COURSE WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS IT’S STILL AMAZING FIVE DAYS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naturally this past weekend had some, ahem, ups and downs. Ups like Biddy visiting and going on a hike with me, and also have dinner with Ben and my uncle who is now living in the woods like the Unabomber. I dressed up as Gene Simmons for Halloween again, so that was also good.

What’s not good is this whole splitting nonsense. I mean, I get that we may have gotten completely hosed in every way possible a little bit on a few Friday night games, but we’ve also been completely non-hosed in any conceivable manner for other games. It makes no sense. For example, in the Mankato State game, tUMD got jobbed in overtime by a dive that had several soccer coaches calling up the little punk who did it. That could have been avoided by not spotting Mankato a large lead and requiring overtime at all. Or getting jobbed last weekend by another such dive; it’s understanding Miami would be good at diving considering they have a world-renowned actor for a coach. They are masters of the Stanislavsky technique; I was impressed by their ability to stay in character the whole game. If tUMD had scored some goals, Miami’s Broadway-caliber embellishment wouldn’t have factored into the game.

LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT SAVE AGAIN. HOW CAN YOU LOSE A GAME WHERE A SAVE LIKE THAT IS MADE????????

I suppose the answer is you’re likely to lose most games where saves like that are required.

I guess the lesson here is score a metric ton (tonne?) of goals and then there’s not much the refs can do to take over the game. This is good advice, people. I am here to help.

These splits are such a problem because tUMD’s schedule is not going to let up anytime soon. Winnable games cannot slip through our fingers, or else tDogs find themselves in a position where difficult games are basically must-win games. For example, now tUMD is faced with trying to break its Friday slumps against St. Cloud IN that horrible city or, barring some kind of discontinuity in the universe that allows tUMD to win on a Friday night in Methville, MN, against UMTC in their stupid building. Nice position to be in. After that tUMD plays UNO and it’s Top Shelf To Food Shelf weekend and we know the goals will be pouring in to help charity.

How about a nice sweepity sweep in St. Cloud, men? The women have managed two in a row, you know.